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Yes, I would love one also.

 

AAHHHHHH yes, the tendencies of the medical field

I remember many long nights sitting in the clinic. We used to cut random things off of each other such as moles, freckles even a birth mark, just for fun. I had a buddy who gave himself a little lido and then cut a nice lac so we could suture him

 

You will end up calling us and fucking up our shenanigans on TW.

 

she looks pretty hot...lol..

 

I had that same thought

 

I asked my partner while going hot to a call if she had made peace with god.

She didn't answer so I presumed that was a yes.

Then I just about ran a retard in a minivan off the road.

 

Let's see how many will fess up cause I know we ALL ain't perfect.

How many have missed any injury during your assessment on a trauma call & What did you miss?

I missed a fractured ankle but in my defense I'd have to say it was immobilized in his cowboy boot somewhat & transport was 6-8mins if that.

Heavyset guy in his 50's, +ETOH rammed his corvette straight into a tree head on. No seat belt. His chest mangled the steering wheel like nothing. I took him to Priority 1 to trauma center due to difficulty breathing thinking he may have had a pneumo / hemo / or possibly both from MOI. When they took off his boots in the ER, his left foot was rotated medial, bone exposed but no bleeding ( it stopped ). I was like " Shit, fool's ankle is broken too. "

The trauma doc's were cool with me & didn't give me any grief.

 

Had a friend (driving an ambulance) honk one of those at me while I was daydreaming at a stop light. Woke me up. He thought that was funny.

 

Maybe it's been asked in this thread already, but what's the most notable object you guys and gals have ever seen jammed up a bodily orfice?

One of our customers is a doctor and he told me he's personally removed a light bulb, intact, from a patients rectum.

Any funny stories like that?

 

nothing in a natural orifice.. but i saw a 5 year old girl get a new orifice made from her kidney to her belly button when her brother was dragging her on a blanket across a new wood floor. turns out one of the peices wasn't quite done and the corner was sticking up. when the brother pulled her over it, it broke off and went straight into her back - didnt go all the way through her belly but i could feel it near her belly button. saw on the floor where the piece was missing, about 6-7" - best part? she never shed a tear and she reached out her arms to me when i told her what was gonna be happening. i'll man up and say i may have had a tear or two after the call - due to her being so badass and me knowing i would have cried like a bitch at her age

 

Also, met a man that was an RN. used to be an RN at the charity hospital in New Orleans. He told me that he assisted in getting a gerbil out of a man's lower orifice. (ass)

 

strangest object? Watched an ER doc pull a big 'ol butternut squash out of a mans rectum...

for reference...this is a butternut squash:




Also watched an ER doc remove a glass beer bottle from a womans vagina. He had to drill a hole in the bottom to relieve the suction because the broad stuck it in open side first and it got stuck.

Also had a woman pull a pocket knife out of her cooter and wield it against us in the ER...


wow...lots of good times at hospital clinicals. Now I just pick up drunks and bums...

 

Life Threats first! sounds like an ankle was the least of his problems

 

Had a call last week, woman was complaining of abdominal pain. Told me, no shit I can't make this up, that she gave a guy a blow job 6 months ago. Swallowed and since then her stomach has been hurting. Because "It didn't taste like it did the first time"

She wanted us to pump her stomach for her. She was bat shit, I swear

 

About a month or so ago we had an inmate from Folsom prison who had ABD sugery. He had an incision from the bottom of his sternum all the way down to about 3 inches below his belly button.

He loves to reopen it. It is to the point where the skin attached itself to the muscle leaving it open about an inch in the center.

He loves to take the milk cartons rip them apart and shove them in his belly. He also ripped open is scrutom and managed to shove the cardboard in it too.

 

dedication.

 

WTF???

 

He told us straight up he wants to die. I say let him. One less criminal I have to pay for.

 

Light bulb wrapped in duct tape in man's rectum. My jaw dropped when I saw the X-ray. Duct tape worked so it wouldn't break on insertion I guess. I didn't stick around for the removal part.

 

Damn.

Kids are amazing!