Worst day of my life

If she's not sure there's not a whole lot you can do to change her mind. That part's up to her. But believe me, better after 4 years of dating than after 4 years of being married and possibly kids.

It sucks, but hang in there man.

 

Don't drink. I made this mistake and it turned into a 4 months bender.

Go to the gym. get in shape. learn to cook. better yourself for you. Plus, it will help get past the depression. Good luck.

This too will pass...

 

I see all the old farts weighed in at the end... Heh...

Well being about the oldest here, I'll offer this: I've seen this shit more times than you can imagine. It's even happened to me a couple times, but to countless others I've known over the years.

Forgive me for playing Dr. Phill here, but this is what I'm hearing: You are seriously in love and highly dependant on this chick for love and social interaction, but she's just been using you until a better prospect comes along. It's likely that she didn't even realize that herself, but that's just how some folks are. They're not really "looking" and they go along fine for years, but one day they think they see greener grass and just suddenly can't resist the urge to jump the fence. It usually works out poorly for them in the end--jumping like that so quickly and without real time to consider things--and you doing the same would probably work out poorly for you. Resist the urge to mope about this, and be prepared to just forget this chick and move on. Also, as it seems you really want a long-term thing, resist the urge to bounce into the arms of the first babe that offers you some attention, unless you're prepared to bounce right out again.

One thing I've noticed is that when you are young a breakup seems so devastating, yet as you get older it gets easier and easier to find women. Not harder. Easier.

By the time you're my age, if you're a half decent looking guy with a half-decent life, women will seem to come out of the woodwork like magic. As women, life gets more desperate for them as they age, but for guys it's the opposite, and their loss is our gain.

Now I've been happily wed to the same gal for 20 years now, but it wasn't always like that. Give it some time. Keep your eyes open. Don't wait around moping about this chick. It's a big world out there and you just need to learn to meet it head on and not worry about the prospect of having to do so. Damn the torpedos and full speed ahead mister! That's the way to meet life.

 

^^^ Great Advice!

 

oh, and the evil side of me says to bang her sister.

 

Like others have said, give it a few days then see about talking to her about it. Secondly, though this might seem awful, it also might be a mixed blessing. You're 21 years old. So you're practically still a kid and as such, haven't gone out and gotten your life situated yet. If you get married when you're 21, there's a better chance that you'll never get to where you could have professionally. Additionally, by the time that does happen, you'll change and mature a lot too. If you're going to get married, you'll want to make sure you're at a stage in your life where you can make more informed decisions.

So give it time, but don't let it change your life. If it doesn't work out, move on, focus on yourself and meet new people along the way.

 

+1

I've been through this many times. Albeit, I am now happily married to the best woman I could have ever asked for - so for me, it's like it was all worth it IN THE END.

Anyway, having briefly read your post - here are some options I would have considered when I was 21:

A) Convince her to sleep with you one more time, do her in the butt (really hard) and then never call her again. Its a satisfying feeling...LOL... but not very mature... your call on this one. All depends on how bad she hurt you.

B) Tell her "Ok" and the YOU let her do her thing.... while you do yours. Chicks don't want clingy... they want a MAN who can function independently.... One of the biggest ways to keep a woman around is NOT to pay attention to her. She will psychologically think, "Why doesn't he want to talk to me?" and soon realize that she misses you. Next thing you know - you cannot get her off you.

Good luck warrior!

 

Kind of adding a bit to what Agent475 was saying, if you do wind up dating lots of women, then you'll get more experience and probably learn to pinpoint the exact kind of women you like. God I must have dated 15-20 women before I met my Wife.

 

Sorry man!! A lot of good advice on here!! Like many have said keep yourself busy, fight the urge to contact her, and just enjoy life for a bit. You're 21 and only live once We have all been there. I myself had a girlfriend that I was in a relationship for 2 years and she decides that partying was more important than our relationship. We ended up breaking up, which I took hard, but in the end I ended up with with my awesome wife. We have been married 6 years now, but have been together for 11. We have two beautiful kids and living the dream. My ex? Well she has had multiple boyfriends, married, had a kid, divorced, and is now with another guy. As others have said karma is a bitch.

 

I'm afraid to say that I've watched this (for fear of being flamed)... but there is a movie called "Definitely, Maybe" that is a pretty decent movie (got sucked into watching it).

But it's a movie about this dude's life in NYC as he dates around... and the despair he has... Might be something you could draw from. And would be a good movie to watch with your new girlfriend. LOL

IMDB Synopsis:
Will Hayes, a 30-something Manhattan dad is in the midst of a divorce when his 10 year old daughter, Maya, starts to question him about his life before marriage. Maya wants to know absolutely everything about how her parents met and fell in love.

Will's story begins in 1992, as a young, starry-eyed aspiring politician who moves to New York from Wisconsin in order to work on the Clinton campaign. For Maya, Will relives his past as a idealistic young man learning the ins and outs of big city politics, and recounts the history of his romantic relationships with three very different women.

On the campaign, Will's best buddy is Russell McCormack. They not only have similar political aspirations, they share the same type of girl problems, too. Will hopelessly attempts a "PG" version of his story for his daughter ad changes the names so Maya has to guess who he finally married. Is her mother Will's college sweetheart, the dependable girl next-door Emily? Is she his longtime best friend and confidante, the apolitical April? Or is she the free-spirited but ambitious journalist? As Maya puts together the pieces of her dad's romantic puzzle, she begins to understand that love is not so simple or easy. And as Will tells her his tale, Maya helps him to understand that it's definitely never too late to go back...and maybe even possible to find a happy ending.

 

Right!!! LOL!!! J/K.

 

Haha - see, I knew it!!!

 

Love the advice that hasn't worked

 

haha... yea, I've never picked up chicks from those places either...

He should try match.com

Back in the day I'd have 3-4 dates lined up every weekend for lunch and dinner... That was VERY effective - and if at least if you don't marry 'em, maybe you'll get to bang em. Just wrap your junk up.

 

Anyway, having briefly read your post - here are some options I would have considered when I was 21:

A) Convince her to sleep with you one more time, do her in the butt (really hard) and then never call her again. Its a satisfying feeling...LOL... but not very mature... your call on this one. All depends on how bad she hurt you.


Good luck warrior

Haha, that is so messed up

 

Sorry man. Give her some time to work things out with herself and best of luck to you.

 

what a great support system guys! we'all could put oprah &dr.phil outa business.i've been there & know that feeling and i really can't add to what has already been said,however i noticed you mentioned that you were talking about taking it to the next level and (she really wants this) do you?
maybe she picked up on something that made her feel like you aren't ready to take it up a notch? i wouldn't be too quick unless you are sure cause she will hold you to it .if it's meant to be it will happen & you'll both be happy . good luck

 

Don't know if I've ever seen what I'd call "quality material" shopping at Wal-Mart...

 

Haha - I know right! Makes for a good bar story. -

 

Yeah I think the next level is something that we both wanted. I have felt a little pressure from her about this for the last year. In the past month it has got a little more intense and I continued to say that hopefully in 2 years I will have life figured out and a good paying job. In reality I was willing to maybe propose sooner than that but I figured I shouldn't get her hopes up to high so told her around two years. You’re also right about TW. Here are hundreds of people I have never met and I have been given great advice about my truck and more importantly about my relationship. This advice has changed the way that I’m going to go about this. At first I figured I should contact her and make sure that she knows I need her...but now I think I’m just going to wait and wait and wait. Hopefully there isn't someone else