JDMCQ's Garage

unacceptable... as an unemployed overeager partly stable young man i will do what it takes to keep my business and satisfy the customer with whatever means necessary

remember that next time you encroach on my territory... this is your last and final warning

 

Jersy is North of the Mason Dixon, Yankee territory.

 

I hear MT is very nice this time of year... i accept your offer. However my stipulations still stand: I will not kill children and pretty ladies. I may take your money and not give you results once i see the person you want gone

 

Fear cannot describe what I am feeling.

Fear the loonie toonies.

 

There aint no mountain high enough, aint valley low enough, aint no river wide enough to keep from killing you baby

 

I actually wrote that in referrence to the moron they are changing shifts of at work. He's trying to fight it tooth and nail, and all management and bosses are just looking at him like, "HA, No". He's moving to the other team no matter what and I'm loving it.

Also got my raise finally approved today. And back dated about 5-6 weeks So after a few weeks to activate I'll be getting backpay .

 

oh and did i mention my 511tactical pro lite pants arrived today... ready for action

 

Damn son, get money f*#@ Bi@$%#@. Ill take a part of that back pay for the services pending rendering

 

Thanks all, I had it lucky here. How's Grampa Manny Keith?

 

Hey, when y'all ready to step up to a true professional, give me a call

 

:brownie:

 

So you got some tactical pants, good for you

Here at Hitmen-R-Us we have some special offers for the fall season!

We are currently offering a Buy one head shot get the second head shot free. Good from now until Thanksgiving.

We are going to roll out a Group Buy 20% off discount for 25 orders or more on Hit-Looks-Like-A-Suicide. Many options available including Self-Inflicted-Gunshot, Maniacal-Car-Crash (cliffs extra), Drug Overdose (Discount for legal drugs only) and Hanging (faked suicide note is extra).
Note: Offer does not apply to Eaten by Wild Animals (Trainers are expensive). Length of offer TBA.

AND!

Just in time for the Holidays we here at Hitmen-R-Us are proud to offer for the very first time our Super-Duper-Act-of-God-Wipe-Out-The-Inlaws-on-the-Way-to-Christmas-Dinner! This dandy of an option comes with a money back guarantee so you will be putting out those two extra plates at the Holiday table knowing that no one will be arriving to eat off of them! We are featuring our most popular options, the Act-of-God freakish car crash, the Falling-Tree-Across-the-Road, Run-Over-by-a-Semi-Truck and our Mysterious-Poisoning (featuring The Colonel's 11 Secret Ingredients).

So get your orders in early to get the best tee-times and sit back and enjoy the mayhem!

 

Jesus

 

You can't tell me that wasn't funny