Funny Things Your Kid(s) Said

Nice.

 

Last year when my daughter was 5, we went to pick up one of my friends, parked on the side of his house...all of a sudden there was a BIG black bear not too far from us.

Her reaction without thinking....

"Holy shit daddy, that's a big bear"......

Then looked at me with BIG eyes, knowing she was in some serious trouble! I just laughed and said "I'm sure that you'll never say that again!" LOL

 

5 year old is a riot. Should hear some of the stuff that comes out this kids mouth.

One of her bests:
Me: I swear, if you ask for a "doughnut" one more time...."
Sienna: "Daddy, can I have, you know, one of those circle things, with the icing on it"

Have to give the kid credit, she didn't say "doughtnut", little snot.

Here's my little one, Sienna. (of 2, got a 7 month old boy, Eli, as well, he no talkie)

 

She's adorable. She looks like she can keep you laughing. Look at that smug little smile. Hehehe

 

one of my kids came up to me
"noah!
Noah said mwudafukka!
mwudafukka! daddy said nobody can say mwudafukka!"
I was laughing so hard....


another great one was
*walking around puddle
"Uncle cody! WATCH OUT FOR THE WET!!"

 

She's...wow.

She's like the energizer bunny. On Crack.

...And she got her daddy's good looks!!

 

He's 22 now, but when he was 4 our oldest son got his first ice cream cone.

As he worked his way through the ice cream, he stopped and asked my wife "Mommy, is it okay to eat the wooden part?"

 

My son wrote this when he was 5 yrs old.

 

hahahahahahahaaaaa!!! You Win

 

My 2.5 year old daughter, who's starting to put words together to form sentences, said the following to me last night:

Her (looking at my empty beer can): Daddy you done?
Me: Yes sweetie.
Her: I throw it out?
Me: Yes, that's very nice of you to do that.
Her: You want another?

The day my child, all 2+ years old, offers me another beer is a day I'll remember for a long time

 

Wife: "You haven't been listening very well this evening."
Sienna: With Attitude: "I didn't listen to debbie* either."

*Debbie is my sister, Sienna's aunt. She babysits for us.

 

At a holiday party my older son, who was five at the time, went around after dinner asking people if they wanted coffee. He had a piece of paper and was writing things down as if he was taking orders. About half hour later, someone asked if the coffee was ready.

So I pulled out the coffee cups, sugar and cream and set it out on the counter so people can help themselves. That's when someone pointed out that they thought my son had a list of who had what. So I asked him and he said "Oh I just wanted to know who wanted coffee, that's all."

 

Warn him now!
WOMEN ARE EVIL!!!!!!!!!

Friggin awesome. Thank you for sharing, I am welling up.

My kids are teens and they ARE SUCKING the life out of me.
They were the best till teens.
Son and daughter.

I know why lions eat their young.

 

I have a couple, one from each daughter.

We always try to use the proper names for body parts so things don't get confusing. When my oldest was 2 or 3, we were playing out back in the sandbox and she was just wearing a diaper (common sight in the redneck south). She stood up and had sand all in the folds, so I started patting her down to get the sand off. She gave me a mean look and said, "Don't touch my peanut!" So much for using the proper terms.

When my youngest was about 6, we were on vacation with my in-laws in NM and I had taken her fishing. She was having great luck and the rest of us were not. When we got back to the house she told my in-laws, "I'm the best hooker in the family."

I am so proud.

 

I don't have kids..too old for that haha..but I will never forget 20 years ago something that happened in my clothes store.

A lady in her mid 20's wanted to try on some clothes with her 4 year old boy in tow. As I let them into one of the dressing rooms he says at full volume "ARE YOU WEARING UNDIES MOMMY" and not 30 seconds later even louder says "NO YOU'RE NOT!!!"

 

OMG that's friggen HILARIOUS!! He narc'd on her! I'll have to tell you mine but it might have to wait....

 

That poor woman was in there for about 15 minutes..was still blushing when she came out. I half expected to find out she spent some of that time smacking that kid's butt!

 

lolwut? I don't know if 18 year olds should give parental advice lol no offense dude.

 

Well in that context I see what you're saying.