2013 Tacoma: I Gripe, Therefore I Am

The truck in question: 2013 Toyota Tacoma Pre-Runner, 4-door, 4.0 V-6, 2 Wheel drive.

Before I list my grievances let me be clear, I am a Toyota guy from a Toyota family. I learned to drive in my father's 1978 Toyota Hilux Pickup. I loved that truck. It had a camper shell and a carpet kit in the back. In high school I got very, very laid in that truck. In reflection it wasn't so much a truck as a whorehouse on wheels. I still miss it sometimes.

I replaced that with my previous truck, a 2001 Tacoma SR5. Growing up, my mother took me to school in her 80-something camry until she replaced that with her 96 camry, which she later replaced with a RAV4. My father drives an 01 Tundra. He's actually taken a job at a Toyota dealership in the area because he's semi-retired and just wants to get out of the house and support something he believes in. Its safe to say I have some experience with the brand!

SO...

That Toyota sold me 7/8 of a Truck is REALLY, REALLY bothering me. I'm almost happy with it after a bunch of little farkles that shouldn't be called farkles, they should be called "standard equipment." Maybe these things don't bother other owners? Maybe I'm just getting cynical and too picky at the geezerly-old age of 31? You tell me...

1) No Intermittent Wipers - Really!? What is this, Kazakhstan? FIXED thanks to Tacomaworld and its incredible users!

2) 17 MPG - In 2013 they still make a road legal vehicle that doesn't say FORD on the side that has mileage in the teens? A K&N Filter, bed cover and careful driving gets me up into the high 19s on freeway trips. Ouch!

3) Air Vents Don't Recirculate - Like I'm not quite busy enough battling through morning traffic like Mad Max, now I have to reach down an push the recirculate button every four minutes to keep diesel fuel out of my cockpit? KINDA SORTA FIXED thanks to Tacomaworld (you have to push the button longer than is convenient to override the fresh air default).

4) Window Lock Includes the Front Passenger Window - Just in case you want to prevent your wife or other adult passenger from rolling down the windows without your permission while your rear child window locks are on. Am I meant to assert my dominance over my passengers through Freudian window control?

5) No Mechanical Door Lock on the Front Passenger Door - Because there is NO CONCEIVABLE scenario where you might want to use a key to get in on the passenger side of the truck. Ever.

6) Absurdly Short Timed Relocking Doors - I'm really glad the truck has this feature. I'm not really glad it relocks in about a minute. Its almost like an ultra-efficient Japanese engineer timed the average amount of time it takes a man with a bag of groceries in one hand to hit the unlock button, put the key back in his pocket, grab his 3 year old's hand to safely cross the parking lot to his truck and open the door, and then the engineer intentionally decided to set the relock time to be 7 seconds shorter than that.

7) Accidentally Kickable Parking Brake - Nice job placing the parking brake
pedal more or less where my foot nails it and releases it about 10% of the time I pull myself into the cab. My bad for being the wildly extreme height of 6' tall with the comparably wildly extreme inseam of 32 inches.

8) Rear View Mirror Stuck Directly to Windshield - Did you learn nothing in the 80s? My 01 Tacoma had the rear view mirror attached at the headliner right above the windshield with MIGHTY SELF TAPPING SCREWS. It gave me the peaceful affirmation that it would remain there for years. Sadly, my Pre-Runner's hangs suspended by a combination of cheap adhesive and luck for some undetermined period of time. It will invariably fall into my lap at what I'm sure will be when I need it to escape from a guy in a gimp suit with a flamethrower, riding on the hood of a flat black fox body Mustang (have I mentioned how bad my morning commute is?).

9) Rear View Mirror Day/Night Adjustment Slightly Off - I get that I didn't spring for the SR5 package. I'll be honest, I specifically skipped it because I like the flat black grill & bumpers on the base model. Its very "stealth." But I get punished for passing on the backup camera equipped mirror with one that's a few degrees off when I flip it from day to night mode? The need to move the mirror a fraction of an inch every single time I change modes will surely combine with gripe #8 (above) to land that thing in my lap ahead of its time.

10) Pitiful Defroster - The windshield defrosts very quickly yet the side windows don't defrost at all. Its ok, I understand completely: The flawless defrost system on my 01 Tacoma was clearly so effective they had to destroy the plans for it to prevent them from falling into the wrong hands. If the North Koreans got their hands on that baby, well... Lets just pray they don't. And continue to roll our side windows down to see out of them for the first few miles every morning.

We'll stop at 10. And besides, despite these seemingly unforgivable shortcomings, I'm a Toyota guy from a Toyota family remember? I'm keeping this truck. I have two sons to raise with this truck, and I need to know I can trust my vehicle mechanically. Which I can with this Tacoma, like all of the other Toyotas I have operated, to Hell and back. That's the real message. I just would have really appreciated it if one engineer or executive at Toyota had TAKEN THIS DAMN THING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND and tried it out before deciding to sell it to all of us.

And the point of all this, above all, is to say THANK YOU to the other members of TacomaWorld. You give me hope that these minor inconveniences can be overcome a few here and there. And I suppose I should give a shout-out to FORD while I'm at it. Every time I see one of your F series trucks on the side of the road, it reminds me that these little issues aren't so bad afterall.

 

I mean no offense to the short comings of your truck, but i found this very funny!

 

Oh dear

 

Oh Farkle

 

LOL

 

I think the most important part of your post was "base model."

 

im sorry your having these little issues with your truck, and im sure you'll look past them eventually just like the rest of us.... but dammit that made my day. Well done sir.

 

White people problems.

 

Should have bought a 4Runner

 

lmfao... literally

 

Entertaining post but I credit a total lack of research/self-imposed ignorance with almost every issue you listed. You sprung for a DC Prerunner but didn't want the SR5 because of a black bumper and grill? A $5 can of black spray paint could've saved you a lot of heartache. Also don't understand how you can complain about fuel economy since it's prominently posted on your window sticker....no research required. Maybe you should have gone with a 2.7L?

Based on 4 posts and this rant, I'd be leaning towards a troll declaration were it not for all the humor....only time will tell!

 

Re. #9, If it makes you feel any better, as nearly as I can tell, the automatic mirror dimming thing does nothing at all. I find myself wishing for the old-fashioned kind every time there's a nit behind me with his hi beams on.

 

Farkle....I need to ask my spouse tonight to see if I am still a real man....

 

Any chance the sensors on your mirror are obstructed ?

 

delete thread..........DERP

 

x2. No offense man but you bought a base model truck and are bitching that it's lacking in features...

Also, where is your e-brake pedal? I find mine very high up and would be difficult to accidentally hit it. Is yours not returning fully?

 

Most of that crap I can live with but here in Canada at least, they really should put heated mirrors and a block heater on or at least make them an option.

 

Say what? Old boy is pretty damned funny.