Can't get this sticker off

So... Team! How are things going? Everyone making plans for whatever the date was we decided on for the collecting unicorn tears? If not, get on it! It's coming up soon. Maybe 5th weekend in March? I can't recall?

 

Racoon family?

I think that needs explaining. Why would they want to move in with you while your truck looks the way it does?

 

x2

 

You mean 6th

And yes please explain this story.

 

I think I could be down for this weekend. Would have to go get my laser gun!

 

Alright, here's the back story of the Racoon family living inside my house.

I know, it's funny that they are in the house, as they usually hang out in the attic or under the house. A couple weeks ago I left town for the weekend, and I left the window in my bedroom open, because there was some nasty odor in there (another story). So anyway, this is the reason for me leaving for the weekend. I left thinking it would air out while I was gone a couple of days. The window did have a screen on it. Anyway, I got home, opened the front door and took a big wiff. No bad smell, but there was another weird smell in the air. I walked into the bedroom, and I noticed the screen was tore up. I thought it was weird. As I walked over to close it, a baby racoon ran out from under the bed. I thought it was cute. I got down and started playing with it. Next thing I knowa big racoon runs out from the other side of the bed and traps me. I have no escape route. Then I try to jump on the bed to get out, then another one jumps on the bed. The only exit is out the window, and through the rose bush. So head first, out I go.

Everytime I come into the front door, they just stay in the bedroom. One will walk to the door of the room, look at me and grunt. Kind of telling me that room is now theres.

It sucks. They do what ever they want. Steal all the food out of the cabinets, and the fridge. So I sleep on the couch.

So theres some back story on that.

 

Interesting, ran out of your bedroom by raccoons.. All I have to say is

 

I take it you have never tangled with these creatures? I hear they have hydra-phoby.

 

This is what they do behind your back

 

Oh man, watch out OP this may be what they are planning

 

At least they can't eat my throat while I sleep. I wear one of those spike collars when I sleep. I also place Doritos all over the floor around me. So if they're coming to kill me, they'll get distracted by the chips.

 

We has unicorns and raccoons, what's the odds of a pterodactyl showing up? That'd be cool because they has hands and wings and a cool doomaflotchy on their head.

 

I think you may be part demon! Because I have no idea what you just said there.

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/dozens-of-racoons-invade-a-neighborhood-eat-dorit

 

How about Feb 29-31? The unicorn will never see it coming.

 

Works for me; my calendar is open on those days.

 

This will never work! This is the annual breeding time for all unicorns across the globe. But do they breed? Where's that Tex guy from Georgia when you need him? He has that breeding picture of unicorns. It is highly educational and would be so useful right now.

 

I'm from New Zeland. If I lived in Georgia my unicorn would not be able to survive.
The educational picture of them mating was offensive to some people.
I do have the artistic one of Sparkles getting a piece from a local hood rat with the sun in the back ground.

 

That does show the breeding pose, but doesn't show the detail the other picture showed. We'll just have to assume they breed similar to horses. They are not hermaphodytes, but are male and female.

 

.... Go on.