Funny public restroom messages

I spotted this recently in a shitter at my alma mater.

3 things I hate:
1. Graffiti
2. Irony
3. Lists

 

Sorry, that was me, left of the "hearted" part.

 

FIFY!


Now I sit all broken hearted
Tried to sh*t but only farted
Then one day I took a chance
Tried to fart but sh*t my pants!

 

My favorite bathroom limerick I found on reddit once upon a time.

 

subed for the laughs... bahhahaha..

 

Here I sit in a stinking vapor, had to shit, but found no paper. The aircraft are landing and I can't linger, lookout asshole here comes my finger.

The Air Force is like a fan. Stand in front of it, it blows. Stand behind it, it sucks. Stand to either side and it doesn't do a damn thing for you.

One more. Those who write on shit house walls, roll their shit in little balls. Those who read those words of wit, eat those little balls of shit.

 

CLASSIC!

First time I saw that one was in the late 60s at the campground at Twin Lakes above Mammoth.

Yes, I remembered, I was an impressionable 8 y/o and the visual of that had me laughing for an hour.

 

Kick our ass in football every year

For me it's all in jest.

 

And then there is this one

 

I loled at " mexican space program command center" in a portapotty

 

I laced one of the TP sheets with LSD, choose carefully

 

I collect photos of funny bathroom graffiti too... I'm trying to upload them right now but can't at work (I swear they have something in the ceiling here to block phone signal. I have 4g till the instant I walk inside)

Anyway a few of my favorites

Tap toe:
once for give head
twice for get head
3x for both
(that one isn't as funny unless you see the picture, hilarious drawing with it)

Another one said "Man I should chew my peanuts and corn better"

And then just general debates, usually about Obama for some reason

 

Push Button Receive Bacon

 

Seen in jersey village TX ---- Wanted -- 2 Mexicans, must be flexible and willing to travel. My truck could use some mud flaps.

 

How much longer must I linger before I'm forced to use my finger.


It's no use standing on the toilet seat, the crabs in here can jump 6 feet.

At work, someone wrote on the toilet seat covers' box. It said, "pull for an Obama campaign hat."

 

Yep. I remember that one from way back. As a youth, I worked as a caddy. They were written all over the caddyshack bathroom walls.

 

Hajis stand on the damn toilet seats here, even on base. Then proceed to turn the stall into a birdbath.