Odd Things Said by Wife or GF ?!?

So I wash the wife's car. The next day she tells me a bird pooped on the car while driving the kids to school. I asked here "where?". Her response " I don't remember the road I was on."

 

you should let me finger your ass, my ex let me do it to him


... im not your ex.


edit: well now i actually am her ex lol

 

This thread is off to a great start!

 

Uh.....yeah. Scoot over.

 

Oh, you've got a quirky one!

 

I guess I should have been more specific in the title, sorry !

 

"I'm not crazy".

 

A couple of years ago, November time frame, my wife needed to do some xmas shopping. She was on Google looking up Kohl's, which is right down the street and requires no directions. She then pulled up the aerial photos, so I asked her what the heck she was doing. She said she was checking the parking lot to see how busy they were.

She and my daughter stopped by Sonic and got some spiced hot chocolate. They were discussing the flavor after trying some, and my wife told my daughter she tasted a hint of chocolate.

 

I have a feeling this is going to be a loooooong thread real fast.

 

That right there is what makes wives so awesome to have, cool story.

 

Ohh so many to choose from probably why I pay good money to not be married anymore. Hmm I think the best one is " If I had known most of my family was going to be in Texas with my grandparents for this Christmas, I would have went there instead". This said while sitting at my parents home in Maine to my father (First year ever to have the grand kids up there for Christmas) with my stepmom and her mother sitting at the table too. ... She never saw the harm in the statement.....

Cypher

 

My old girlfriend was your typical blonde. We were working on a class assignment and the printer ran out of paper. She grabbed the stack of printer paper I had under my printer, then asked if it mattered which side went up. I said "the white side". She actually tried to figure out which side was more white.

 

Not my wife, but my sister called me one day because her car had a flat tire. So I show up and start to take the flat off so I could install the spare and she asks, "why is it flat?" I pointed out the big ass screw that had punctured the tire and then she said " if the screw is up top why is it flat at the bottom?

 

This was my ex-wife's sister. We were at my ex's graduation. They were announcing the names and if they had honors: e.g. Joe Brown Magna Cum Laude.

After about 20 minutes, I said to her, "Man, the Cum Laude family has a lot of people graduating today." She said, "I know!"

 

some paper has a good side. she may have actually been smarter than you think.

 

dont knock it till you tried it

 

Not the $2 copy paper I buy. If it was special paper I could see it.