Best Dealership Salesman Quote You've Personally Heard

My parents had a salesman tell them that the 2006 Sierra came with stock 22s when the rims were actually 18". They didn't buy from him.

 

I had to tell my salesman that the composite bed actually was the bed and not just a bedliner. That wasn't the best part of buying this truck though. A few days after buying, I was back at the dealership to get wheels/tires installed (parts dept ordered wrong wheels of course so I ended up going elsewhere). When I was in the service dropoff bay, I noticed a guy pull in in my old Wrangler so I approached and we began discussing the Jeep.

He said that he'd been looking for a good used rig for a while and that his buddy who works at the Toyota dealer called him when he saw mine come through. He was especially tickled about the price he'd gotten it for-

Him: "Yeah, I got a really good deal, I only had to give them $XX,XXX for the Jeep!"

Me: "No kidding? Wow, that's more than I thought they'd ask for it."

Him: "So, if you don't mind me asking, what did they give you for it on trade-in?"

Me: "$XX,XXX." ($5K less than they got out of him)

Him (after staring at me for several long moments): "They fucked me! ...and I know them!"

 

The service manager at the Chevy dealer who told me my 2006 Colorado needed a head.

He told me it's $3000. Not an hour later I was on the phone with him shoving the TSB in his face that discussed my truck. He "didn't know" about that. A few weeks later there was a new manager there who said "I know about the TSB but I don't think it's the head." I said "well then you would know that it says to do a leakdown and if the percentage is more than 50% the head is no good". He said "Yes I know that's been done but I don't think it's the head".

Oh yeah, the first service manager didn't know about the TSB because he'd never had a head go in these trucks. 2 months later he said he'd replaced a lot of them over the years.

 

Was looking for a cheap car with decent gas milage for my college years, ended up at a hyundai dealer with a salesman who was trying to buddy/buddy me into buying a sonata. Apparently we were best friends the moment we locked eyes.

Him: "Push that tab under the radio and see what awesome storage is in that hide-a-way cubby"
Me: "Oh.......cool"
Him: "Yeah, you can hide your weed in there"
Me: "You gonna make sure that is full if I buy the car?"
Him: "We'll see"

Ended up walking away but I will never forget that guy.

 

He wanted your D.

 

I think the worst I ever dealt with was a ford salesman. I was thinking of getting a used f150 extra cab (or whatever ford calls them) and the guy who came out to help me told me they had no used f150's but plenty of Rangers. I figured since I was there what the hell, I'd test drive a ranger for s and g's. The guy brings me a reg. cab ranger, AFTER I tell him the main feature I need is in-cab room for my dog and storage. He was also trying REALLY hard to sell me on leasing instead of getting a loan to buy. He then proceeds to explain to me how he can easily throw in for free a seat-belt plug-in so the chime stops and tells me how I don't need to wear a seat belt because the ranger is sooooo safe and has airbags all around.

 

http://youtu.be/muA5EBmpDhA

 

Me: do you guys have any 2013 Trail edition 4 runners in inventory?
Salesmen: sure you mean the SR5?
Me: kind of
Salesman: yea let me show you the Sr5
Walk walk walk
Me: wow that's nice. So no trails huh?
Salesman: what do mean by trail?
Me:

 

About twenty years ago I was looking at a used RX-7. The interior was beat to death and the car had obviously had a really cheap respray.

Me: So what's with the RX-7? The paint looks great but the interior is beat.
Sales Guy: I guess they just took really good care of the outside.

Last week, looking at Tacomas

Me: I think the Sport seems like it has a firmer ride that the OR.
Sales Guy: Naw, the Sports have those comfort ride shocks.

I'm going to trade or sell my G35x. Took it to a Toyota dealer to get a value on it and look at Tacoma's. The sales guy, (who isn't really the guy that gives you the trade in number) checks the oil in my car. I remember thinking that was all for show and why didn't he just look at the oil change sticker in the window. The next day my wife takes the car to work, and I find a nice puddle of oil on the floor. Panic sets in and I'm thinking the car found out about being traded and blew a seal on purpose. Later that day I drive over to my wife's workplace and check the oil. The dipstick was not in the tube. Just sitting in there next to the tube. Panic replaced by complete amazement that the idiot could check my car's oil and not get the dipstick back in. At least I didn't need a seal.

 

At long beach gran prix Toyota booth checking out the west coast custom Tundra...

Sm: interested in purchasing a toyota?
Me: no I already have a new toyota truck.
Sm: which one? The titan?
Me: SMH.

 

Its amazing how little salesmen actually know about the shit they sell. To me its like going to a surgeon that's never been in an OR.

 

Same. I'm not sure what they do all day. I see them standing around all the time, read some dang tags!

It's not salesman related but parts related and still funny lol...

Dad went to Advanced Auto to get a part for his 2002 Tundra. Can't remember what it was but the lady pulled it up on the computer.

Her: "well there's two options you can get, part A and part B which is half the price."

Him: "I'll take the cheaper one"

Her: "Are you sure?" she then leans forward and whispers "That one is...you know...Asian..."

He leans over and whispers back, "...my whole truck is Asian..."

She didn't say anything after that lol

 

This wasn't with the Tacoma but I do own a 2011 Honda civic. Took it in for the first complimentary oil change.

Me: *walking around dealership killing time waiting for oil change to finish*

Sales man: hey how u doing can I help u find something today?

Me: no thanks just waiting for car to finish up oil change.

Sales man: oh nice you have the extended warranty?

Me: no I don't need

Sales man: oh so who's going to change your oil in the future?

Me: I will. I just brought it in today cuz the service is free

Sales man: oh u know that voids your warranty right? Come into my office I'll help u get that extended warranty

Me: really? How so?

Sales man: well only Honda certified mechanics can change your oil or else your warranty will be voided.

Me: thanks that's good to know. I'm actually a Honda certified mechanic myself

Sales man: ok have a nice day

 

This thread makes me want to go to a Toyota dealership and see how many lies they tell me about the Tacoma...

 

A Mitsubishi lot lizard explaining why the Eclipse didn't come with ABS on the lower trim levels: "you really don't want anti-lock brakes, they increase stopping distance". Why is ABS standard on every Ferrari?: "that's just to look good on paper".

 

Whn shopping for my 2008 DC Sport, I went to my local dealership (Capital Toyota in Chattanooga, TN) after getting a quite for a new one in Atlanta, guy at Capital tried to explain how the owner of the south eastern Toyota distributor was a crook and only bought base model Tacomas and added parts to them to make his packages versus the distributor for TN and KY buying the packages straight from Toyota.

Told him my quoted price ($22,500 for prerunner) and he said, "you better go buy it then! That's impossible!" His price was sticker - $27,500.

I drove to ATL the following weekend to pick up my taco.

 

Sadly when I was younger I was a car salesman. I needed a job and that was one that I could make some decent money.

I HATED it. The constant screaming from my boss to sell more cars, the constant complaining from jerk customers. And the screwing people over, that's what made me leave. I'm an honest guy and I hated the thought of me taking money right out of peoples pockets.


When I went to go buy my Tacoma, I had seen it listed on the internet for $12,000 (the KBB value), and from the pictures it seemed to be in very good shape.

So I get there (it's at a used lot at an Audi dealership), and no one wants to give me the time of day. Finally this salesman comes in and he was an idiot. One thing he did which really annoyed me was he kept offering my girlfriend coffee, he must have asked 4 or 5 times. Nevertheless I told him I wasn't taking the truck unless I got it for $8000. I walked out of that dealership with my Tacoma for $8000

 

Its the same as every other job. It gets old. I agree they should know the basics but salessalesmen (women) don't want to learn every detail about every car every year

 

I got the as I signed the paperwork, "This is a stupid deal, we aren't making any money on this deal". I said "wow you must really like me".

 

Back in 2003 at a Toyota dealer I walked in to see if they had any S Runners. The salesman said you mean a Pre-Runner. I said no an S Runner. He then said Oh, you mean a 4 Runner? I had to show him in the Tacoma brochure what I was talking about.