Problems saying no

Basically I have always had an issue saying know when someone I know needs something. Now asking for something they don't need but want I can usually say no to. But someone that I know needs to take care of stuff I cave in.

For instance.

I gave a co worker $200 today to help her with her Daughters graduation stuff because the place she went through wouldn't finance her. ( unaware of the full story and really don't feel it is my place to ask.)

In exchange for the $200 she gave me her riding mower. It is an old piece of crap craftsman from 1987. Now do I need the mower no. I have a small yard and two legs that for the most part work well. But I knew she needed the help. So tonight I get the mower home and go to fire it up and it just spins....

I call her ask her about it and she says I don't know what to tell you. It worked fine when you picked it up. Again no I don't need the lawnmower. But what a dick thing to say in my opinion. Stacey was standing on the other end of the truck and heard her say it and she just walked away she knew it was going to get ugly.

I guess I expected it because my reaction was more of an ok let down type.
Seems everyone is sugar coated nice when they need want. But once they get it, same ole story minus a few friends.

Anyone else have this problem?

I know I told Stacey sometimes I wish I could turn it off and just be a dick.
Just never seems to end. With complete strangers I can sit there and say no all day long and justify it with, "they put themselves there"

And before anyone asks. I can say no if it is going to put me in a financial constraint. But when I have extra money or sometimes I have taken it out of savings. But enough of that what do you think.

 

Shouldn't her daughter be paying for her own graduation stuff??

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpGZN7Rp_tM

 

my mom kinda has this problem!!

 

You sound Canadian.

 

If you know that you have a "problem" with not saying no, why not get counseling to change the behavior? It's hard to overcame habits/thought process without help. On the bright side, it sounds like you're one heck of a caring person.

 

Try saying Fuck No next time , I find that helps

 

Or a simple HELL no

 

Believe it or not I actually did at one point because It did get to the point I would give bill money. But at that time it was at it's worse. The issue is I have gotten better at it. But I have those people that know it is an issue and thrive off it.

Like this morning I came into the office fully prepared to say, I'm not interested in the mower. Decided I won't need it."

As soon as I walked in the first thing was, (her speaking) " Good morning Coffee's ready and I am ordering (insert daughters name) pictures and cap and gown and invitations today. You think if I write them a check they will process it later. I won't have the money for another month but the deadline is next week."

 

stop payment that mofo'ing check

 

you tell that bitch to give you that 200 bucks back in the next 30 days or you will mow penises in their yard with said riding mower for the rest of eternity

 

Not me writing the check. Her writing the check. I never EVER write a check that I know I can't cover.

 

He's from BC.

 

Lol

 

I need 300 dollars to pay my insurance! Know anyone who can help?.

 

could use $5 to buy some oreos.

 

5 bucks for oreos?? What has this world come to?

 

So you gave her $200 for the graduation stuff, and now she says she doesn't have the money to pay for the stuff that you gave her the money for?

I'd have asked her that loudly enough for others in the office to overhear and make it very clear that she will never get another dime.

He can't. The mower doesn't work.

 

oh, but the sweet rush of victory when it does