Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

That is extremely nice of you! I've come to the point in my career that I look at it as just doing my job and how I make a living for my family. Yes, it can be a very stressful job but in the end it is my job. I have many ribbons for above and beyond the call of duty but I don't like them because I am just doing my job. It's what I signed up to do so I don't need a ribbon for doing my job.

But thank you once again! That is a very nice gesture and a very good role model for your son.

 

Congrats!

While I can't identify with the FF experiences, I most certainly know personally the issues of substance abuse. 15 years drug & alcohol free now.

The First year is a big step in the right direction! Props for "putting it all out there" too - that is also part of the process.

God bless you for your service!

 

No words can express how incredible your posts are here. Let me simply say thank you, best of wishes, and God Bless.

 

Thank you.

Like I said before... If what I post helps one person then my shame and embarrassment will be worth it in the end.

 

Thank you very much for posting this sir. I also feel the need to congratulate you on being sober. I have not quite made it there yet but have given up smoking and every single day I crave cigarettes.

The fire service field messes with you severely. Some handle it better than others but it all eventually gets to you at some point. For me, it was the one time I saw a 5 year old girl who bled out on the floor after she was shot by her deadbeat father. I can't tell you how difficult it was for me to not choke the life out of him but I had to remain calm and do my job. I am out of the service for other reasons but if your department (and this goes for the LEO's here as well) has a Critical Incident Stress Management debriefing, I strongly recommend you utilize that ANY time you have experienced something traumatic. Do not try to just bottle it up and move on. I too, have seen some ff's commit suicide (one after the run where we responded to the 5 year old). These groups are there for a reason. Please... do not think you will lose your pride by talking about something that has been bothering you.


Thank you again, OP for posting this. I have always felt that it should be put out there for everyone to see that this is what public safety workers have to go through.

 

I am very aware that I could not handle being a first responder, I have nothing but respect for you guys.

Thank you for posting your story. I am not who you are trying to reach, but sharing your story will help someone else.

 

Props on this post man. My dad was an alcoholic. Best gift he ever gave my family was his sobriety. He's a great dad and from the sound of it, so are you.

 

Thank you!

I have made the adjustments that I needed to make but, I owe much of it to my wife and daughter also. If it weren't for them it might not have turned out the same way. I can't take the credit. I owe them everything.

 

I was a wildland firefighter (USFS) when I was younger, but I never got to see all the tragedies that you did. You redefine courage and your story is powerful. PTSD is quite real and not just an abstract disorder in the DSM.

Congrats on transforming your life.

 

Pretty damn prophetic from my favorite band of all time



"Sirens"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQXP6TDtW0w





Hear the sirens, hear the sirens.

Hear the sirens,
Hear the circus so profound.
I hear the sirens,
More and more in this here town.

Let me catch my breath
To breathe and reach across the bed.
Just to know we’re safe.
I am a grateful man.

This life has been a light and I can see clear
Oh, I have to take your hand and feel your breath.

For fear that someday we'll be over.
I pull you close. So much to lose
Knowing that nothing lasts forever.
I didn’t care before you were here.

I danced with laughter,
With the ever-after
But all things change.
Let this remain.

Hear the sirens
Covering distance in the night.
The sound echoing closer.
Will they come for me next time?

For every choice, mistake I made, is not my plan
To send you in the arms of another man
And if you choose to stay, I’ll wait, I’ll understand

Oh, it’s a fragile thing, this life we lead.
If I think too much I can’t get overwhelmed by the grace by which we live our lives with death over our shoulders.

Want you to know
That should I go,
I always loved you,
Held you high above too.
I studied your face,
And the fear goes away.

Oh, it’s a fragile thing, this life we lead.
If I think too much I can’t get overwhelmed by the grace by which we live our lives with death over our shoulders.

Want you to know
That should I go,
I always loved you,
Held you high above too.
I studied your face,
And the fear goes away,
The fear goes away,
The fear goes away.

Fear goes away.





​

 

I can definitely imagine how going through these tough scenarios could cause PTSD. God bless those who have to experience it as a service. I think its great you told your story and people should absorb it. I once worked in pharmacy and came to realize that so much more of the population than people think....are abusing alprazolam and hydrocodone to the extremes, and some of the doctors just continue to write it. Its definitely a huge epidemic that people dont ever seem to discuss....and good people get addicted... just seeing the destructive effect on people in my daily job at that time was enough to keep me miles away from these drugs... Thanks for your service & story. Hopefully it will make people think.

 

I'm pretty sure my pharmacist knew what was going on with me. Kind of hard to hide when you refill your prescription at the very earliest date you can (usually 7 days before the refill date).

At least the last prescription that I've had refilled in the last year is for antibiotics only.

 

It takes a man to admit his mistakes and that he has a problem.

 

Thanks. It was truly a bad part of my life but I've just learned to handle things in a more productive way.

 

Well I applaud you man for doing the right thing. God bless you for your service and your sobriety

 

B.Turner, I just want to sincerely thank you for writing up this post. You made me realize some things about myself. Believe it or not you've made a difference in my life and I think a lot of others who may not have even posted, but simply came across your post from a search engine. I actually just saw this today linked from your signature in the thread about your new "Dodge" lol. I was almost in tears from laughing when I saw a the title about someone ditching a tacoma for a Dodge. But now I've had a couple tears well up from reading through this thread. Thank you for what you've done, and thank you for posting this. I'm sure you will make a difference with this post for years to come. Godspeed.

 

Just read this today:

Galatians 5:13 "For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

Seemed appropriate seeing how you turned your life around against what would be the easy way out and now you're serving others once again through your life experience. Thank you again for posting this thread.

 

Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot

 

Just stumbled upon this thread...We dont know each other...But I can identify with you...glad to hear youre taking it a day at a time...my family was my biggest motivation to get my life in order...4yrs this last Sept...it's been a good ride...keep on keepin on, bud...

 

Thanks,
for sharing your story and your sacrifices. This helps me with my own troubles and I appreciate that you took the risk in telling it.
-Brad