joint or seperate checking account

^^X2. I'm not married but we might as well be since we have lived together for 2 years and have seen each other everyday for the past 5 years. We both agree that we make our own money so there is no need to put all of our money together and create conflicts if one of us makes a big purchase.

 

So you must go grocery shopping together and approve each other's purchases, then. Same for the hardware store, obviously.
And you must call to let each other know that you're going to vaccuum or start the dishwasher or mow the lawn, right?

 

1. I saved $500 by spending $5000! Biggest marketing scam in the universe. This is what makes storage units such a great business opportunity.
2. If rational discussion and sefl-discipline is not a viable option, nice approach, for her own good. It is all about long-term view and consistency. Always have this discussion in terms of years, not paychecks.
3. CapOne360 makes it really easy to set up an move funds within cap one but also other banks. We started using this when they were ING. Plus you actually can get a little more interest (LOL).

repost

Key

I was responding the OP, not you, if that is the way you took it. Not my intent.

Yup

Yup.

Last January after we got our W2s we broke down every asset and income avenue we had in preparation for buying an upgrade house. We projected out several cost and income scenarios (even if one of us lost our job, or decided to career change and took a hit) and considered other long-term goals too so we could both confidently commit to a house opportunity quickly when it arose.

You learn a lot about each other and yourselves by doing this sort of planning and having these sorts of discussions and viewing it all from a long-term perspective.

After the dust settle from this and cash flow normalizes, we'll be sitting down again in January to do it again so we can revisit kid/college savings and other investment opportunities beyond what we already have squared away.

And she can buy all the fucking yoga pants she wants from her own account.

 

An outsider's perspective

 

To all you who think the separate accounts is the way to go:


What are your plans if you start a family and one parent stays home with the child? Do you give a "salary" based on what you think their "job" is worth to you? Or how do they pay their half of the bills? Are you the only one who gets spending money?


FWIW I am just trying to understand. I do not in any way agree with separate accounts, just trying to hear the other side a bit.

 

I agree with you. My comment was sort of off-topic in that it was in regards to an attitude to marriage overall, not just finances. You have separate accounts because that's what you decided to do together and that is what works, not because you think your wife will take off with all your cash.

 

Lol, people with kids don't have spending money

How would it be different if all your $ goes into one account? Both people are still on "allowances"

 

You made a bad marriage decision. She doesn't swallow. And she smells like soup.

 

Why is that so baffling? Groceries are necessities and have their own budget. we have already decided how much we will spend on groceries every month. It's not like it's on a case-by-case basis for everything that gets bought, but I trust my wife to discuss large purchases with me before pulling trigger, I do the same for things I want to buy.

These things have nothing to do with finances, you are just being absurd.

 

Again let me put a spin on this...what about the wife who stays home with the kids and has time on her hands to internet shop, spending money that she doesn't make causing a rift with her spouse or vice versa. Again I've seen it too many times in my job; especially with younger couples. It causes a whole slew of problems to say the least. How a couple spends money is about communication and what responsibility each party plays in that decision, not how you bank your money. My wife gets way more upset if I wash laundry and don't throw her stuff in than she is about the account balance of my personal checking or if I decide to buy something. We both know what each of us is better at, I am much better at finances and planning. We decided long ago what bills I would pay and we've never argued about it. She is a stay at home mom who doesn't work and gets a monthly disability from the VA from her time in the Army.

 

when we first got married, the first couple of years we had separate accounts (first year we weren't on the same coast due to me deploying so long).
after about 6 months of living in the same house we set up a joint account for the house bills. that worked for awhile until she started college and it was only my income.
Now we have a joint account, saving a decent amount each month, I still have my personal account that a little bit goes to every month (my eat at work budget or fun money) and she has her own account that her VA disability and school money goes into.

Ultimately, it all is what works best for you. If you feel she is hiding purchases or that you have no self control over spending (just examples not saying you guys are), maybe a joint account would be best to hold each other accountable and have a separate one like we do for our whatever we want purchases.

 

What's mine is mine, what's ours is mine, and what's hers is mine. It's all mine. So joint account it is.

 

this except seperate accounts..and both under my name

 

I'd usually have a good reply to this, but alcohol is rendering my brain fairly useless at the moment.

 

i've discovered that alcohol does the same thing to me...although it does make me more athletic? maybe it just numbs the pain in my hip and knees so i think i can run longer idk, or maybe im just blacked out somewhere and think im running...


also

 

And theres the problem right there.
Its not your money and how you agree to divide it, I'm not sure why people can't see past this.

I'm all in and 100% commited to my wife period. Our retirement, our money, our savings, our kids and our life together. WE ARE ONE.

Shit as much as I'd like to call my (our) truck mine, the darn thing is hers too.

 

FYI that makes me want to puke. Mission accomplished.
#asshat.

 

Holy crap looking at that more then 20 seconds will make you dizzy

 

im sober and its making me nauseous