Would appreciate everyone's input on marriage!

Then you didn't know that person well enough to be getting married in the first place.

I got married at 20, after dating her for 5 years. Been married almost 4 years now. Have never even thought that it was even slightly a bad decision. This is one of those things that you just know.

 

We got married at the courthouse. JotP presiding.

We were doing well going the whole "Sign here, swipe your card" route until the assistant handling the bible read their version of the non-secular vows.

I held it in.

The wife couldn't and bust out in a full-bore belly laugh...in the middle of the vows. In my face.

*have witnesses. was epic

 

Hmm where to start ..

I'm glad I decided to get married and start a family. It's been a calm sea at times and it's been a perfect storm at times. I have another thread where I talk about mental health and what I've learned etc. I won't get into that but it helps explain where I'm coming from.

Here's what I see..

The hardest part about being married to me is remembering that the person I'm married to is just that, a person. A human being that requires certain things to be healthy just as the relationship does. When my wife and I got married the first three years were all about having fun and where we could have it After that it got .. stale. This was due to lots of things but mainly kids, bills etc. Suddenly the person I had fallen in love with became just another object in the house. We barely talked unless were were arguing about stuff. Long story somewhat short, it's vital that you remember the other person in the house is a human being who needs interaction and support.

When I look around at my friends who have decided to remain single I see one thing. Boredom. That sounds really stupid I know, but part of happiness is sharing it. Similar to wealth. Sure they go on trips more often to more places but most of them are never satisfied.. they go home alone or with someone they have no connection with other than physical. I have an amazing trip, build memories and then go home with the person I built them with. Add kids to that equation and it's 10x. The work is harder, the time together or alone less but the reward is immeasurable.

Can you be happy single? Sure. But you will never be as happy as a happily married man. Nothing is always easy, the truck looks great but how many knuckles did you bust to get it there? My wife and I have been through hell, but we're better for it and now.. it's pretty damn cool.

My grandmother gave me advice about women....

There are two types of women in this world.

1) The manager. This woman will manage your life. She will clean the house, pay the bills keep shit going and clean, clean, clean. Your house will always be ready for company and you will never be late to anything. However, she will also control you to some degree or another.

2) The easy going. This woman will not be able to manage your bills and help you plan a retirement strategy. You'll do your share, or more, of the cleaning and cooking. However, you can call her on a Friday from work and say "Hey hon, the guys have an extra ticket and invited me to go to the game with them" she'll say "Have fun!" She isn't interested in controlling anything.

The difference? You can teach #2 to manage money and plan. You'll never teach #1 to let go. She will always be in control.

Pick wisely.

 

There is some sage advice in this thread overall. From my end, I can say that Marriage is sort of an amplifier. The things you enjoy together get more enjoyable because of time. However, it can also amplify problems over time.

You have to find compromises along the way and learn to disagree and agree. Tenacity and commitment when it gets bumpy are paramount to success.

As long as you share values, friendship, respect, and trust at the core of it all, you should eventually find common ground in your union.

Before I met my wife, I reflected upon the things I wanted in a partner for the long haul and drew up a a list. Then A few months later, I found her.

 

I showed my wife this thread( she is my best friend) she laughed and went to bed...that's my wife and she is great!

 

Butt Secks!

















Now someone has

 

Look I have been with my wife since I was 13 that would mean we started dating since 1997, not to say we didn't go our separate ways a while and from time to time. In the end we married and have been married for 9 out of 17 years now. It has it's ups and downs and like other people have mentioned it takes real commitment and patience. Things will always pop up and you will always have some problems, sometimes problems that seem so immense that they are really hard to work through. In the end it comes down to whether or not you want to be with the person or not. I love my wife and feel that she makes me a better person all around. So that's my two cents.

 

Your effort wasn't wasted; you provided shutterbug/OP with sound advice from your perspective. I agree with what you wrote. My wife and I have been married for 22 years. We have been through "for better and for worse." Marriage isn't easy and it is different for everyone. My wife complements and completes me.

 

Behind every good man...stands a strong woman...just saying

 

This right here, all jokes aside. This guy has a very good perspective and point of view behind it all.

 

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

― Albert Einstein

I've been married for 25 years and have no sage advise. I think Einstein pretty much nailed it.

 

This is so true. My wife will even admit it. There are different philosophies on marriage. It comes down to the both of you being happy together.

 

You're absolutely right... and I'd also add that behind every rotten male, there's a rotten female nurturing his rottenness.

 

RUN NOW!!

 

Been married, never again.

 

I love my wife. We've been married now for 4 years and have had no problems. The only downside I can see is that you have to remember your decisions are no longer just your own. They can affect both of you so you need to include your spouse. When I was single, if I wanted to mod my truck, I just spent the money and did it. I still can but I just inform her before I do. My best advice is don't sweat the small stuff. There's a lot of give and take with a marriage. Also, don't stop pursuing her just because you're married. Set up a date night.

It has lots of benefits. It's good to know someone is there for you. Plus, with my wife, if I ask her to make me a sammich, she asks, "what kind?"

 

I married woman #2, and we've been happily married for almost 11 years now (together over 13)

I picked wisely...

 

DON'T GET CAUGHT!

 

No offense, I glad my wife doesn't do that. Who the f*ck eats pizza with a fork and knife?

 

I'm no married, but looking into it for the benefits. We've been together for 3 years and lived together for 1, living with someone is a big change, make sure you live with them before marriage.

The sage advice I was given was "Do not marry a girl for love, marry because you like her, want to spend time with her and enjoy her company"