1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

writing a paper for english

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by higherlux, Oct 18, 2009.

  1. Oct 18, 2009 at 12:45 PM
    #1
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    its called zombie grave yard
    tell me what you think so far good/bad/ what can be changed

    There are four kids out having a fun time riding around in panda’s Toyota Tacoma. The kid’s names are f.t., john, panda, and Ryan. Panda decides to go down this trail that looks like a four wheeler trail. When the kids get halfway down the trail they see tombstones they get out of the truck to look at the tombstones. F.t. says, hey did you hear that? Panda says I don’t hear anything. John states that, yea he hears something, sounds like a faint moaning coming from the tombstones. The kids decide to turn the truck around and get out of there. Once they got off the trail they find a little girl, she looks to be four or five, stumbling down the road with a small teddy bear in her hand. Her hands and face were bloody like she had been beaten. Panda offer to give the little girl a ride to the police station but the girl doesn’t respond. Ryan who is in the back of the truck says,” I have a bad feeling about this girl.” But panda lets the girl get in the back of the truck. Panda starts to drive down the road when they all hear Ryan start screaming in the back of the truck and panda slams on the breaks to see what’s happening and the little girl is attacking Ryan! Not knowing what to do the boys get out of the truck and rip the little girl off of Ryan and she flies out of the truck hilling her head on a large rock smashing her head open killing her. Everyone looks in the back of pandas truck to see if the girl hurt Ryan and Ryan is laying there lifeless so panda says ,we have to get him to a hospital because it looks like the girl took a bite out of his neck so all of the boys get in the truck and start to go to the hospital when all of the sudden Ryan sits up suddenly and turns around and starts attacking f.t. panda slams on the brakes and Ryan hits his head on the cab of the truck gets knocked out because he hit his head and john gets out and puts the trucks tail gate down and panda throws his truck in reverse and starts going really fast and slams on the brakes and the zombie fly’s out of the bed and the boys see Ryan get up and f.t. says run his butt over. Panda takes off and about 60 feet in front of the zombie and panda dose a complete 180 and stops and stares down Ryan who the kids now know is a zombie and panda floors it throwing up dirt and rocks and then shifts into second by now pandas truck is doing 35 mph and he hits the zombie instantly killing him and getting blood all over pandas truck.


    its not done yet but this is what i have so far
    i think its gonna be one of the best stories ive ever written

    and if you havent figured out by now im panda :D
     
  2. Oct 18, 2009 at 12:57 PM
    #2
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    no one likes my zombie story :(
     
  3. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:00 PM
    #3
    beastlytaco

    beastlytaco Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Member:
    #7660
    Messages:
    4,044
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ian
    Vehicle:
    08 Access Cab SR5
    wheres your thesis statement??? lol
     
  4. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:04 PM
    #4
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    Setting- town
    Characters- panda, f.t. Ryan, and john ,pandas dad
    Plot-
    kids discover graveyard
    kids hear strange noises at graveyard
    kids leave graveyard
    kids see a strange little kid walking down the side of the dirt road (turns out to be a zombie)
    gives zombie a ride
    zombie on road kills ryan in back of truck
    ryan turns in to zombie
    kids run over zombie and ryan killing the both
    Kids go to police
    Police are zombies too
    Police zombies kill f.t.
    Panda and john find the town in ruins after leaving the police station
    Panda and john got guns from the station
    Go back into town with john in back of truck shooting zombies
    Panda and john go to wal-mart to get more ammo
    Wal-mart out of ammo
    Panda decides to go to his dads house to get ammo
    Pandas dad still alive and joins there party
    Loading up pandas truck with guns and ammo john kills 5 zombies and gets bit in the process
    Panda and pandas dad leave john and pandas dads house




    this?
    i know you suck donkey ass
    and it gets pretty good as you read it :p
     
  5. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:06 PM
    #5
    98tacoma27

    98tacoma27 is going full "SANDWICH" Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Member:
    #11714
    Messages:
    67,709
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ben
    Not Beech Creek
    Vehicle:
    05 Tundra SR5 (+295k AND COUNTING), 2006 F350 King Ranch 6.0L
    Some stuff. Not a lot, just some.
    Thats called a plot, not a thesis statement. :p
     
  6. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:08 PM
    #6
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    not that suprised:eek:
    i guess thats why im failing english
     
  7. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:09 PM
    #7
    98tacoma27

    98tacoma27 is going full "SANDWICH" Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2008
    Member:
    #11714
    Messages:
    67,709
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ben
    Not Beech Creek
    Vehicle:
    05 Tundra SR5 (+295k AND COUNTING), 2006 F350 King Ranch 6.0L
    Some stuff. Not a lot, just some.
    Whats the assignment?
     
  8. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:11 PM
    #8
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    what it says on the school page
    Objective:
    ~ To imitate the methods of short story writers to create a short story for your own. ~ To review and utilize the key components and literary elements that create effective short stories ~ To edit a peers story making suggestions for improvement in flow, understanding, and character development
     
  9. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:12 PM
    #9
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    fuck you is the thesis statement
    :p
     
  10. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:13 PM
    #10
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    i is in inglish 3
     
  11. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:16 PM
    #11
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    whats with the peorids after every word you wrote???
    i learned you only put those after every sentance.
     
  12. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:19 PM
    #12
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    my teacher whats to hit me if i do that :eek:
     
  13. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:19 PM
    #13
    ImpulseRed008

    ImpulseRed008 Gone But Not Forgotten

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2008
    Member:
    #9104
    Messages:
    46,581
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Susan
    SC
    Vehicle:
    08 PreRunner SR5 V6 w/tow pkg
    OEM SS tube steps, Access LE tonneau cover, pop n'lock, AVS in-channel vent visors, stubby antenna, Wet Okole seat covers, bed mat, rear diff breather mod, 4 extra d rings in bed, K&N air filter.
    You need paragraphs. It's too hard to read when it's all crammed into one paragraph.
     
  14. Oct 18, 2009 at 1:23 PM
    #14
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    yea imma go back and put into paragraphs

    thanks for the input :)
     
  15. Oct 18, 2009 at 2:55 PM
    #15
    beastlytaco

    beastlytaco Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2008
    Member:
    #7660
    Messages:
    4,044
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ian
    Vehicle:
    08 Access Cab SR5
    when they say use literary annalysis, i think they mean write a cohesive essay that portrays both a thesis statement as well as opening paragraph, 3 body paragraphs and a closing statement. in retrospect, your opening paragreaph and closing should be thought out. if your failing english, maybe you should ask your teacher about writing styles or something. jsut a suggestion
     
  16. Oct 18, 2009 at 6:26 PM
    #16
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    the entire story


    Zombie graveyard
    There are four kids out having a fun time riding around in panda’s Toyota Tacoma. The kid’s names are f.t., john, panda, and Ryan. Panda decides to go down this trail that looks like a four wheeler trail. When the kids get halfway down the trail they see tombstones they get out of the truck to look at the tombstones. F.t. says, hey did you hear that? Panda says I don’t hear anything. John states that, yea he hears something, sounds like a faint moaning coming from the tombstones. The kids decide to turn the truck around and get out of there. Once they got off the trail they find a little girl, she looks to be four or five, stumbling down the road with a small teddy bear in her hand. Her hands and face were bloody like she had been beaten. Panda offer to give the little girl a ride to the police station but the girl doesn’t respond. Ryan who is in the back of the truck says,” I have a bad feeling about this girl.” But panda lets the girl get in the back of the truck. Panda starts to drive down the road when they all hear Ryan start screaming in the back of the truck and panda slams on the brakes to see what’s happening and the little girl is attacking Ryan! Not knowing what to do the boys get out of the truck and rip the little girl off of Ryan and she flies out of the truck hilling her head on a large rock smashing her head open killing her. Everyone looks in the back of panda’s truck to see if the girl hurt Ryan and Ryan is laying there lifeless so panda says, we have to get him to a hospital because it looks like the girl took a bite out of his neck.
    all of the boys get in the truck and start to go to the hospital when all of the sudden Ryan sits up suddenly and turns around and starts attacking f.t. panda slams on the brakes and Ryan hits his head on the cab of the truck gets knocked out because he hit his head and john gets out and puts the trucks tail gate down and panda throws his truck in reverse and starts going really fast and slams on the brakes and the zombie fly’s out of the bed and the boys see Ryan get up and f.t. says run his butt over. Panda takes off and about 60 feet in front of the zombie and panda dose a complete 180 and stops and stares down Ryan who the kids now know is a zombie and panda floors it throwing up dirt and rocks and then shifts into second by now pandas truck is doing 35 mph and he hits the zombie instantly killing him and getting blood all over pandas truck. With Ryan and little girl dead the boys decide to go to the police station to let them know that zombies are around and they need to protect the town.

    The kids arrive at the police station expecting to get help from the nice police men but they discover that most of the people down at the police station have been bitten or have been turned into the living dead. Then all of the sudden a zombie police officer jumps out from behind a file cabinet and attacks and bites f.t. while the zombies feed on him john and panda make toward the polices gun safe that was open and they take 6 9mm and 5 shot guns and all the ammo they can carry and the kill all of the in the room and make their way back to pandas truck. When they get outside of the police station they see this car fly by pandas truck and smash into a police car and there was a fat lady driving the car and she gets out and looks directly at john and panda and the zombie lady comes running full speed at them screaming and panda lifts up a shot gun and says, “I don’t think so fatty” and blows her head off. After that panda tells john to get in the bed of the truck and kill all the zombies he sees. Panda realizes that his dad has a bunch of guns and ammo at his house and decided to make his way there.
    When they arrive to pandas dads house they were shocked to find that he was still alive and they all loaded up pandas truck with food guns and ammo and in the process somehow john got attacked and turned in to a zombie and panda had to shoot him and panda and his dad decide to stay and his house until this whole zombie thing blew over




    The end




    Or is it


    No one will know


    Cuz that’s the end of this story
     
  17. Oct 21, 2009 at 5:17 AM
    #17
    FoxySandChick

    FoxySandChick Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2008
    Member:
    #9505
    Messages:
    2,956
    Gender:
    Female
    First Name:
    Kristin
    Henderson, NV
    Vehicle:
    07 DC 4x4 Base model V6 Impulse Red Pearl
    De-badged, limo tint, black wet okole's, weathertechs, extra d-rings, TSB bilsteins
    What grade are you in???

    I think I wrote about that well in elementary school.:typing:
    You might want to add the correct grammar and punctuation ;) just to start then work on the sentence structure and content...


    Don't let Charli see this :facepalm:...
     
  18. May 26, 2014 at 12:11 AM
    #18
    95 taco

    95 taco Battle Born

    Joined:
    May 3, 2012
    Member:
    #78175
    Messages:
    17,466
    Vehicle:
    2003 4x4 TRD SR5 auto
    OME 883 front, OMD 3.5" rear, Relentless front bumper, smittybilt 9.5K winch
    Thread revival..

    Did you ever write anymore?
     
  19. May 26, 2014 at 4:34 PM
    #19
    higherlux

    higherlux [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2008
    Member:
    #11307
    Messages:
    6,927
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    middle of S.C.
    Vehicle:
    1998 tacoma 2.7l 4wd/1986 POS
    Mall crawler status
    holy shit lol. no. no i didn't
    but, i do know a great story about an ugly barnacle ;)
     
  20. Jul 19, 2014 at 10:21 PM
    #20
    robssol

    robssol If it ain't broke, leave it the eff alone!

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2013
    Member:
    #105622
    Messages:
    7,678
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Rob
    S. Wisconsin
    Vehicle:
    06 Tacoma, TRD Sport, SR5, 4X4, AC
    Frame 2.0, Fog lights anytime, Seatbelt reminder delete, Secondary air filter delete, LED bed lights, Running boards, 2017 Rims, Devil Horns by Andres, Ultra gauge, Cup holder/consol/glove compartment lights, Interior LED conversion, Blue Sea aux. fuse panel, fuse panel mounting plate by Yotamac, ProEFX heated towing mirrors, LED engine bay lights, Redline Quicklift Elite hood struts, Wet Okole Heated Seat Covers, Pop and Lock tailgate theft deterrent mod 2.0, Plasti-dip rear bumper. Decal free visors, Washable cabin air filter, Overhead consol auto dimming override switch, BulletProof Fabricating Skid plate, 2lo module.
    What did we get for a grade?:confused:
     

Products Discussed in

To Top