Married or divorced? Need advice

marry her. dont be a bitchass husband and you wont get divorced

 

Marriage is hard, but you can't judge what may happen in your life off of other people in your family. I got married at 24 and we have almost been married 5 years. You have your arguments ,but the right person is will to work through it and not jump ship. Pray is you believe, It gets me through a lot. If you love her, you'll just know.

 

I have been married for 15 years...Marriage is a commitment...plain and simple...when 2 people are committed to it and realize divorce is not an option you can work through a lot of petty things and even more serious issues.

I did hear a funny quote from a movie the other day when asked how someone could be married for so long:

"you find someone that you are comfortable being in the foxhole with and when you're out of the fox hole keep your dick in your pants...."

 

Holy crap I didn't expect more than a couple trolls and maybe two people with real advice on this one
Thanks for all the input can't wait to get a minute to read this whole thread through!

 

You forgot to remind him to keep his dick out of other girls. Wives don't like that.

 

Thanks for the advice. Y'all are right I can't worry about what may happen when there's no sign of it happening...
May as well freak out about dying on a plane I haven't bought tickets for at that point.

Far as waiting, I know I've got at least two years before she finishes her masters at USC before we actually get married.
But being engaged for a year or two can't hurt anything.

God led me to her and will keep us together long as we keep him in our lives.

Now I've gotta go tell my truck she's gonna have to wait a minute for parts while I save up a couple more dollars for the ring... It's gonna break her heart hahaha

 

I thought I was ready for marriage and ignored some signs that later were an issue when we married. She was smoking hot, getting a phd, decent family, etc. Needless to say sex life turned to shit her priorities changed and ended up only lasting a year and a half. Live and learn that was 6 years ago and now am with an amazing beautiful woman with her head on straight and couldn't ask for more. PS she tells me to buy stuff for my truck. Just saying and we are engaged and getting married in 4 months. Best of luck to ya man and just pay attention to things you might not be able to live with or that may be a problem longterm. The talk about kids, religion, etc. Just follow your heart and good luck man. Don't think to terribly hard.

 

My wife and I were best friends in High School and we started dating while I was still in the Marine Corps. We were engaged for 2 years and I was stationed in Hawaii and she stayed back in OR. We only saw each other about 2 weeks out of the year.

But we have been married for 5 years now and we have an amazing kid. If you feel like she's the one then go for it. Don't be scared by everyone getting a divorce. Every marriage is going to be different and there will definiltely be differences in things and problems down the road, but those are things you two will have to figure out and work around.

 

There's no rush. I'm 23 as well. Only been with my girlfriend now for a little over 2 years. She has been talking about getting married from like the first month I met her. She is about a year and a half younger than me and still going to college. I have always told her to take things slow and that as long as were together that's really all that matters. Marriage seems like just a label any more these days and if you have to ask the question, then maybe hold off and wait a little longer to see how things progress once you start buying a house and living life.

 

Well, I've got the cash. Soon as the're back from china, I need her parent's blessing and it's game on. Thanks for the input folks. I really can't let my fears get in my way- I've already broken the family tradition by being the first to graduate high school EVER in my entire bloodline, then blew past that by graduating college. Keeping a relationship together can't be beyond me.
weirdest feeling being ready for this.

Wish me luck!

 

Best of luck.

I'll be the downer. Young, 22 at the time. Got married before being deployed after knowing each other for 11 years/together for 3. Fell apart before I even got on the plane over to the shit. R&R at 6 months for our 1 year anniversary/her birthday and there was nothing there. Get back last November to her cheating on me without even the decency to hand me divorce paperwork.

She had gotten into raving/pot/etc really hard while I was gone since I was too much of the guidance counselor and not enough friend/spouse. Hard lesson learned, really know the person before hand. Best of luck buddy, I loved it while it lasted.

 

Women. If we weren't fucking them, we'd be hunting them.

 

There seems to be a fucked up theme with you guys that serve and divorce.... :/ sad. Hope you can find the right one and thank all of you for serving.


Now another question

What'd y'all spend on an engagement ring?
I've got 7k
But I know more than one guy who spent 25k+ ..... Which seems kinda absurd to me.
But what the hell do I know this is all new ground to me

 

You know you are ready when you don't have to ask people.

You are young, but go for it do what makes you happy

 

Way, way, way too common. Ask any old timer about the guys on his team who got the dreaded "Dear John" letter at mail call. The old timers all know dozens.

Young couple, he's enlisted, they get married right before the deployment. The emotional honeymoon is not over... and it comes to a crashing end when she gets home after seeing him off.
The loneliness is terrifying. If he is lucky, he has a good network of friends who's wives will support her. If he's not lucky, that network of friends' wives create 6 months of "girls' night out"

Just as not every man is cut out to be a warrior, not every woman is cut out to be a warrior's wife.

 

Marriage is a give and take. My wife and I have been married for 14 years and have probably had 3-4 fights the entire time and that was during the first year or so while learning to live with each other. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be honest and don't hold things in. If something bothers you or her you need to get it out in the open right away before it manifests into a larger problem. Communication is the key to any marriage. If you're at fault admit it. If she is at fault be humble.

Respect each other and if you are both truly in love with each other then find a way to make it work. Marriage is work from both parties. One can not handle all the duties while the other reaps the benefits. It is a huge commitment and one not to be taken lightly. Only you can decide your next steps and how you approach your marriage.

Good luck.

 

I have no idea what most people spend, but one of my buddys bought a cheaper ring for the proposal, then after she said yes he made her a ring.

 

Married and divorced so I can tell you this.

It is never easy. A marriage is like the dream job you always wanted. You had to bust your ass to get the job and to keep the job you have to work even harder.

Find things that you both love to do and incorporate them often. But at the same time starting out set the expectation that there are things that you like to do alone or with the guys. And she should have things she wants to do alone or with the girls. She should never have a thing with the guys and you should never have a thing with the girls alone.

Everyday you wake up remember the woman you woke up next to is your wife. And she deserves everything you have to give her as well as she should remember when she wakes up the man laying next to her is husband and he deserves the same.

If you go into half assed then nothing is going to work and you will fall flat on your face and that cycle will continue. But if you make the commitment follow through in everything you promise her and she will do the same.

I will give you a little bit of background on my marriage. It was not the best it could have been. We didn't communicate enough. We didn't spend a lot of time doing our things together. We just didn't try hard enough.

My wife (whom I have no hard feelings towards) Found someone else to give her the time she wanted, needed, deserved. I felt I was giving her as much as I could. I found out about the affair and stayed with my wife because in my eyes divorce was not an option and anything that can be broken can be fixed. for 8 times we went to counseling and talked with friends and preachers and family. 8 times it never did work. And I can tell you what hurt more than going through it all was the day I broke and said I couldn't do it anymore. Giving up on my marriage was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and will probably be for a long time the hardest. But I did.

Now I'm not telling you this to scare you away. I'm telling you to learn from the lessons I screwed up in.

When you think you've got it all figured out. And you think that 5 out of 7 days a week is enough. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes your young wife will need you there for 8 or 9 days out of the 7 day week. And sometimes she won't need you there at all. (those as you get older will be called fishing days) But cherish the time you have with her and make those the best memories.

Now here is what most won't say. Yes you are going to argue. Make it fun. Get the point across but don't get angry. When you find yourself angry or upset with your wife it will show. Instead breath calmly and say I love you but I need to take a step back right now. Or I love you can we talk about this later when we are both calmed down. BUT AND A BIG BUT Make sure you talk about it. It won't just go away.

Never go to bed angry. It won't help either one of you. Whatever reason you are angry get it off your chest and out of your system before you lay down for the night. Remember people die in their sleep all the time. Kiss her goodnight and tell her you love her before you fall asleep.

When/ if you are blessed with kids. Take time for each other. Remember to keep that fire alive and you will be awesome. (probably won't need viagra either) Do simple things. Remember when you started dating you put your best foot forward. Try and be that nervous clamy handed guy all the time. But don't be afraid to screw up. Trust me she will laugh just as hard when you're being billy bad ass as when you're being tim the tool man taylor.

And look when she brings up pottery barn just say yes mam. You know and I know you don't want to be there but she loves shopping there and that is her thing. So go and be supportive. She is probably going to just shake her head at you when you order some icons or a plate bumper or something ridiculous like a storm trooper shift knob. But that's your thing and she will support you about it.


One more thing and I will get off my soap box. You know most women will go to bed way before you and I will. Give at least 80%. Got to bed with her. Most of the time you will like whats in there. Oh and one more thing. Keep a bottle of water and tylenol next to the bed for those "sudden headaches"

 

Yeah but I saw lots of guys cheating on their wives overseas and it made me sick to my stomach.

I paid a little of 8K I think, custom setting but most of the $$ was in the rock.

Truth. As much as men want to appear macho "I do what I want/She'll be fine", you definitely need to give. That 8-9 days is especially hard to give when you can only do 1-2 hours a week over Skype.