The giant spider in my bushes or The Story of my Saturday Home Alone

Jeezus! Better carry a 12 gauge in the golf bag on that course!

 

Remind me to never play golf on that golf course... EVER!

 

That would have been a nine iron for sure! My modos with spiders are....it could probably kill me so I better kill it first...anything with multiple colours is probably more deadly and should be killed from a distance...and thank god for the cold winters of Canada!

 

thats just a little writing spider. we use to get them all the time back in the house i grew up in. and yes, they do shake the hell out of their webs, not sure why. but they usually have a cool little design right in the middle of the web made out of dead bugs wrapped in silk. i always liked them even though spiders usually freak me out

 

are you sure you have that many brown recluses around? i know they are in our area and i've seen a few but you make it seem like you have an infestation. if you have that many maybe you need to do something about it before you end up dead

running around and flailing is usually my repsonse but not with this type spider. they are so cool looking. here is the wiki article on them. it even mentions the "web pumping"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argiope_(spider)

 

i kill wolf spiders for multiple reasons. first of all, they are ugly and scary looking. writing spiders are pretty and nice looking. plus, writing spiders just mind their business and hang out in bushes. wolf spiders run around lookign for people to attack and they run in your house when someone walks in and you think its a mouse cause it was so big then you realize it isn't a mouse, its a huge spider, so you immediately start wailing like a banshee and jump up on the recliner then everyone starts freaking out and doing the same thing and one of your idiot friends throws a full beer can at it and makes a mess out of your living room and you finally get up enough courage to take a 25 lb weight from the weight bench and flatly drop it on the spider then everyone stands around with baited breath waiting for the weight to start sliding across the living room floor cause that spider was FUCKING HUGE and you're afraid 25 lbs wasn't enough to kill it. then after that you realize you're too afraid to keep drinking in your house so you all go downtown and get drunk. thats purely a hypothetical situation and DID NOT happen to me when i was living in a shit hole of a rental house in Clemson

 

yeah, i see those in my place too. they freak me out for some reason. they are so hairy looking...

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA, that was GREAT!!

Have you smashed a spider today?

 

It's not like I go around the house scooping up brown recluses and throwing them in my blankets. Haven't seen one in the house, they just come and go in the eves around the house. A single brown recluse can't open a window or jimmy a door lock and they refuse to unite under a single banner. If the brown recluse tribes would assemble underneath a single warlord I would have no choice but to declare war to maintain peace in the provinces. It would be a time consuming and costly war but I would only have to sustain it for 2 months until I move out or the poorly equipped spider hordes are pushed back by the harsh North Carolinian winter.

 

just be glad you dont live in australia. the sydney funnel web has such strong fangs it can puncture a leather dress shoe. dude was in an office and got bit through the back of a LEATHER SHOE!!!! that shits not funny. plus i think they are the most poisonous spider on the planet.

yup, read this....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_funnel-web_spider

can be fatal within 40 minutes of not being treated but an antivenom has been developed.

 

screw that. kill those bastards

 

In the country that Chopper Reed called home I think I could get away with carrying a sawed off 20ga for spider defense. Or I would just ride on a kangaroo. I'd like to see a spider catch me on a fuckin kangaroo.

 

LMFAO!!!

 

Without justification the serfs would become restless that we were fighting an unjust war and that I was wasting their tax dollars. Simply lining my coffers with expense in the Garage Military Complex. I mean I didn't even try diplomatic means to negotiate with the 3-eyed violin headed opposition. Just cause they're different and only know how to kill the innocent isn't enough to declare total war. Once we leave the area I'm committed to helping the new local ruler combat the brown recluse threat. They're disorganized but they're persistent. I'd have to form a Coalition to manage the threat but that would get the attention of the government and media forming a sort of unofficial checks and balances system. I've only formally declared war on the spiders on my house but what if they're receiving reinforcements from the spiders next door? I can't combat those spiders without being scrutinized and the local rulers are unwilling the combat the virulent threat without their own borders. My people would certainly be livid with this kind of never ending commitment and would remove me from power lest I stage a military coup and seize power at which point I have to police my own underlings while combating the 8 legged threat, effectively starting a 2 front war.

You see my dilemma. It's a very delicate situation. Removing the large obvious but ultimately not so dangerous threat has only served the highlight the more dangerous and urgent threat lurking beneath. The populace simply lacks the fortitude to win that sort of drawn out campaign.

 

well when you explain it that way....

 

better watch out you don't want PETA checking out this thread.. LoL

 

I'll take that yellow spider any day over that one in Sydney....

 

thats one big spider. Dam