favorite funny sayings/comebacks

useless as tits on a boar

 

go shit in your hat

 

Well, tough titty said the kitty with no milk.

 

Your mouth is about to get you into a place where your ass can't back you up.

 

We had this old crotchety manager, every time we said we were hungry, he would say...

"We got hard cake and cock, and were all out of cake".

I miss that old bastard.

 

Man I tell you what, I felt like A one legged cat try'in to burry turd's on A frozen pond out there. -Tom Anderson

 

My boss likes to use, "that's rarer than rockin' horse shit".

 

Sore as a whore on a three day weekend


Working harder than stripper on dollar night


Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs

 

she can suck start a harley

 

she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose

 

'Murica!!!

 

I felt like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

 

Scared as a sheep on farmers drink free night.

 

If you argue with an idiot, then he is doing the same.

 

"Arguing with a stupid person is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. At some point you realize the pig is enjoying it."

 

Do not apply logic where logic was not applied.

Do not get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

 

Another version of this is..."don't get into a battle of wits with a one-armed man".

 

jesse ventura talking about the government pushing their way into our business. "Never let the camel get its nose into the tent, because if you let the camel get its nose into the tent, eventually you'll get the whole camel".

 

He's lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.

Dumb as a bag of hammers.