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Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by pinktaco808, Jun 30, 2020.

Page 34 of 73
  1. May 29, 2022 at 7:22 AM
    #661
    imjustabill1970

    #661
    imjustabill1970 Twitter: imjustabill1970

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Member:
    #122336
    Messages:
    1,547
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    bill
    clarksville, tn
    Vehicle:
    2017 TRD Off Road DCSB
    SUSPENSION: Icon Stage 4 with tubular UCAs WHEELS: Black ProComp 69 TIRES: BFG KO2s at 265/75/16 Partially debadged Diaz Fabrication Model T up front
    Wish me luck guys, I am interviewing on Tuesday for a new job at Old McDonalds Farm for the C-I-E-I-O position.
     
    imjustabill1970, May 29, 2022
    #661
    Tactical_Panda, SRH, RangerComa and 6 others like this.
  2. May 29, 2022 at 7:52 AM
    #662
    KactusJack

    #662
    KactusJack Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2017
    Member:
    #238158
    Messages:
    138
    Gender:
    Male
    Collettsville, N.C.
    Vehicle:
    2014 AC TRD Sport
    :facepalm:
     
    KactusJack, May 29, 2022
    #662
    imjustabill1970[QUOTED] and SRH like this.
  3. May 29, 2022 at 8:59 AM
    #663
    grdgz97

    #663
    grdgz97 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2015
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    #149078
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    Male
    Georgetown, TX
    Vehicle:
    2015 TRD Sport DCSB
    Why does the stadium get hot after the game???






    Cause all the fans leave!
     
    grdgz97, May 29, 2022
    #663
    ohcaltexscar, Spare Parts, SRH and 2 others like this.
  4. May 29, 2022 at 2:01 PM
    #664
    Steve Urquell

    #664
    Steve Urquell No Pants

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2016
    Member:
    #203716
    Messages:
    892
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    2017 2.7L/5MT AC Utility 4X4
    Screenshot_20220529-160044_(1).jpg
     
    Steve Urquell, May 29, 2022
    #664
    MalinoisDad, ohcaltexscar, Brownie_Man and 4 others like this.
  5. May 29, 2022 at 6:15 PM
    #665
    SRH

    #665
    SRH My horns hold up my halo

    Joined:
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    I’m stealing this:D
     
    SRH, May 29, 2022
    #665
    MalinoisDad[QUOTED] and imjustabill1970 like this.
  6. May 29, 2022 at 6:16 PM
    #666
    SRH

    #666
    SRH My horns hold up my halo

    Joined:
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    Dad jokes remember…. Lower your standards
     
    SRH, May 29, 2022
    #666
    ohcaltexscar, imjustabill1970, replica9000 and 1 other person like this.
  7. May 29, 2022 at 6:27 PM
    #667
    RangerComa

    #667
    RangerComa 58008

    Joined:
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    First Name:
    Adam
    Marin, CA
    Vehicle:
    17 DCLB
    list is growing fast
    Hey I resemble that comment
     
    RangerComa, May 29, 2022
    #667
    SRH[QUOTED] likes this.
  8. May 30, 2022 at 9:21 AM
    #668
    KactusJack

    #668
    KactusJack Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2017
    Member:
    #238158
    Messages:
    138
    Gender:
    Male
    Collettsville, N.C.
    Vehicle:
    2014 AC TRD Sport
    My standards can't get much lower....
     
    KactusJack, May 30, 2022
    #668
    imjustabill1970 likes this.
  9. May 30, 2022 at 10:27 AM
    #669
    banditcamp

    #669
    banditcamp Well-Known Member

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    Attempt to rob a bank and you won't have to worry about food, clothing, shelter, or health insurance for the next ten to twelve years. Regardless if you are successful or not.
     
    banditcamp, May 30, 2022
    #669
    grdgz97 likes this.
  10. May 30, 2022 at 11:33 AM
    #670
    Tactical_Panda

    #670
    Tactical_Panda Armchair Anarchist

    Joined:
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    First Name:
    Tim
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Vehicle:
    2015 Tacoma Double Cab, Off-Road Edition
    AJT Designs Shifter AJT Designs Battery Hold-Down ARB Awning 2500x2500 ARB Twin Compressor w/ Slee Offroad Mounting Bracket Avid Brush Bar Avid Step Bars Black Rock Wheels Series 997 Type 8 Circuit Breaker/Relay Panel Custom TRD Decals Bulletproof Fabricating Raptor Grill Bulletproof Fabricating Cooling Panel Bulletproof Fabricating Tow Hook Duluth Trading Company Dog Hammock Exhaust Breather Mod eBay Special 3-Gallon Air Tank Expedition Essentials TPAM EZ Down tailgate damper Flagpole Mounts, Dual Foglight Mod Front Camera Rear Camera; full time available General Grabber tires Goat Armor Hella Supertone Horns Iggy Switch Panel Icon Dynamics Stage 3 Suspension Katskin Leather Interior KickAss camp shower LED Bed Lights LED Interior Lights Midland MXT275 GMRS Two-Way Radio OEM Audio Plus Reference 500 audio upgrade Plano Cases. 42" roof mounted, X2 Pop-N-Lock Tailgate Handle Prinsu Cab Rack Prinsu-like Shell Rack Redline Tuning Hood Struts Rigid Industries 40" Light Bar Rigid Industries Ditch Lights Rigid Industries Spotlights Toyota Bed Step UltraGauge EM Plus v1.4 Vixen Air Horns, Four-Trumpet Whole bunch of decals worth about 5HP each Yakima Road Shower, 10-gal
    Accordion.
     
    Tactical_Panda, May 30, 2022
    #670
    TexasTacoLT[QUOTED] and SRH like this.
  11. May 30, 2022 at 11:34 AM
    #671
    Tactical_Panda

    #671
    Tactical_Panda Armchair Anarchist

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2017
    Member:
    #212502
    Messages:
    7,163
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Tim
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Vehicle:
    2015 Tacoma Double Cab, Off-Road Edition
    AJT Designs Shifter AJT Designs Battery Hold-Down ARB Awning 2500x2500 ARB Twin Compressor w/ Slee Offroad Mounting Bracket Avid Brush Bar Avid Step Bars Black Rock Wheels Series 997 Type 8 Circuit Breaker/Relay Panel Custom TRD Decals Bulletproof Fabricating Raptor Grill Bulletproof Fabricating Cooling Panel Bulletproof Fabricating Tow Hook Duluth Trading Company Dog Hammock Exhaust Breather Mod eBay Special 3-Gallon Air Tank Expedition Essentials TPAM EZ Down tailgate damper Flagpole Mounts, Dual Foglight Mod Front Camera Rear Camera; full time available General Grabber tires Goat Armor Hella Supertone Horns Iggy Switch Panel Icon Dynamics Stage 3 Suspension Katskin Leather Interior KickAss camp shower LED Bed Lights LED Interior Lights Midland MXT275 GMRS Two-Way Radio OEM Audio Plus Reference 500 audio upgrade Plano Cases. 42" roof mounted, X2 Pop-N-Lock Tailgate Handle Prinsu Cab Rack Prinsu-like Shell Rack Redline Tuning Hood Struts Rigid Industries 40" Light Bar Rigid Industries Ditch Lights Rigid Industries Spotlights Toyota Bed Step UltraGauge EM Plus v1.4 Vixen Air Horns, Four-Trumpet Whole bunch of decals worth about 5HP each Yakima Road Shower, 10-gal
    Sax and Violins.
     
    Tactical_Panda, May 30, 2022
    #671
    SRH likes this.
  12. May 30, 2022 at 11:55 AM
    #672
    TacoNoVeggies

    #672
    TacoNoVeggies Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2020
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    #323309
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    374
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    Male
    San Diego, CA
    Vehicle:
    '20 Off Road ACLB Quicksand
    Stock
    You guys know why I love camping so much?

    It's fu(#!g intense
     
    TacoNoVeggies, May 30, 2022
    #672
    davidstacoma likes this.
  13. May 30, 2022 at 12:22 PM
    #673
    Plain Jane Taco

    #673
    Plain Jane Taco Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2009
    Member:
    #16179
    Messages:
    40,279
    Gender:
    Male
    USA
    Man comes home and finds his wife packing a suitcase.

    Man: What's going on?

    Woman: I'm leaving.

    Man: Why?

    Woman: I was watching TV today and found out I can move to Nevada and get $200 a pop for what I give you for free.

    Man starts packing a suitcase for himself.

    Woman: What are you doing?

    Man: I'm coming with you.

    Woman: Why?

    Man: Because I want to see you live on $400 a year.
     
    Plain Jane Taco, May 30, 2022
    #673
    Hardscrabble, strider98, Speedfreak and 10 others like this.
  14. May 30, 2022 at 12:43 PM
    #674
    SRH

    #674
    SRH My horns hold up my halo

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    Female
    First Name:
    Shauna
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    2018 Sport
     
    SRH, May 30, 2022
    #674
  15. May 30, 2022 at 5:50 PM
    #675
    Tactical_Panda

    #675
    Tactical_Panda Armchair Anarchist

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2017
    Member:
    #212502
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Tim
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Vehicle:
    2015 Tacoma Double Cab, Off-Road Edition
    AJT Designs Shifter AJT Designs Battery Hold-Down ARB Awning 2500x2500 ARB Twin Compressor w/ Slee Offroad Mounting Bracket Avid Brush Bar Avid Step Bars Black Rock Wheels Series 997 Type 8 Circuit Breaker/Relay Panel Custom TRD Decals Bulletproof Fabricating Raptor Grill Bulletproof Fabricating Cooling Panel Bulletproof Fabricating Tow Hook Duluth Trading Company Dog Hammock Exhaust Breather Mod eBay Special 3-Gallon Air Tank Expedition Essentials TPAM EZ Down tailgate damper Flagpole Mounts, Dual Foglight Mod Front Camera Rear Camera; full time available General Grabber tires Goat Armor Hella Supertone Horns Iggy Switch Panel Icon Dynamics Stage 3 Suspension Katskin Leather Interior KickAss camp shower LED Bed Lights LED Interior Lights Midland MXT275 GMRS Two-Way Radio OEM Audio Plus Reference 500 audio upgrade Plano Cases. 42" roof mounted, X2 Pop-N-Lock Tailgate Handle Prinsu Cab Rack Prinsu-like Shell Rack Redline Tuning Hood Struts Rigid Industries 40" Light Bar Rigid Industries Ditch Lights Rigid Industries Spotlights Toyota Bed Step UltraGauge EM Plus v1.4 Vixen Air Horns, Four-Trumpet Whole bunch of decals worth about 5HP each Yakima Road Shower, 10-gal
    What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

    The epileptic shucks between fits.
     
    Tactical_Panda, May 30, 2022
    #675
    davidstacoma likes this.
  16. May 30, 2022 at 6:13 PM
    #676
    .劉煒

    #676
    .劉煒 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    #168910
    Messages:
    2,487
    Vehicle:
    2016 Inferno DCSBTRDORMT
    in tents.
     
    .劉煒, May 30, 2022
    #676
  17. May 30, 2022 at 7:27 PM
    #677
    imjustabill1970

    #677
    imjustabill1970 Twitter: imjustabill1970

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Member:
    #122336
    Messages:
    1,547
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    bill
    clarksville, tn
    Vehicle:
    2017 TRD Off Road DCSB
    SUSPENSION: Icon Stage 4 with tubular UCAs WHEELS: Black ProComp 69 TIRES: BFG KO2s at 265/75/16 Partially debadged Diaz Fabrication Model T up front
    I got pulled over today and the cop asked if I know why he pulled me over.

    I told him it was because he wanted to see how tall I was.

    He said, "Step out of the car sir." I said, "See, I knew it."
     
    imjustabill1970, May 30, 2022
    #677
    davidstacoma, grdgz97, Pablo8 and 2 others like this.
  18. May 30, 2022 at 7:30 PM
    #678
    ohcaltexscar

    #678
    ohcaltexscar Out of Huckleberry Licorice…

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2020
    Member:
    #320594
    Messages:
    1,734
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    First Name:
    Chas
    El Paso, Texas
    Vehicle:
    2005 DCLB SR5 Prerunner
    IM4x4 2.5" NitroGas - Coopers
    Dad: Have you heard the joke about the broken pencil?

    Kid: No?

    Dad: Eh never mind, it’s kind of pointless.
     
    ohcaltexscar, May 30, 2022
    #678
    grdgz97 and SRH like this.
  19. May 30, 2022 at 7:41 PM
    #679
    grdgz97

    #679
    grdgz97 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Member:
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    Georgetown, TX
    Vehicle:
    2015 TRD Sport DCSB
    Oof. o_O:puke:
     
    grdgz97, May 30, 2022
    #679
  20. May 31, 2022 at 3:44 AM
    #680
    Spare Parts

    #680
    Spare Parts Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    13,810
    Southern Maine
    Vehicle:
    2022 Off Road Premium 4Runner Lunar Rock
    Why can’t you run in camp?




    Cause it’s past tense.
     
    Spare Parts, May 31, 2022
    #680
    Pablo8 likes this.
Page 34 of 73

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