GraveYard Shift BS

Yeah I think they’re like $10.

 

They’re over by the RV supplies.

 

I'll check it out this weekend. Gotta do my oil/install the fumoto and a tire rotation, too

 

I should probably check my brakes, too. Been at least 50k since they've been touched.

 

You know this man

Me too

 

A rather brazen response there, Phil.

 

I do what I can

 

i had to perform mortal comBAT this morning. I get up a little early and check the news of the day. Mariners lost? Yep. Seahawks? Nothing. I call the dogs as i leave the bedroom and they pop up from off their beds and dutifully follow me downstairs. They run straight to the slider waiting for me to open it for their morning constitution. I go for the dog treats in the kitchen - as im working on getting them to be more focused about doing their thing then getting back inside. Just as i enter the dining room (its far wall is the glass and slider) something large, winged, and black as sin zooms across the room between me and the dogs. A god dang BAT!! I froze in place but my senses went into overload and i suddenly could feel every hair on my body spring to attention. I was instantly transported back to the moment of my birth. Memories of my childhood fluttered infront of me as if they were cards being shuffled by satan himself. I had tunnel vision. Snapping back to reality i saw the evil beast fly over the table - and the stupid cat, which sat on the table, swatted at the bat!! Do cats no longer learn about vampires in cat school!???



Options. I need options.



Run! I could do that. The dogs are on the other side of the bat so they are now dead to me; i said a little prayer that god would end their lives quickly and they wouldnt suffer. As i turned on my heels i remembered....my friends visiting from the states would be back later today. They have kids. I cant let them walk thru my door into a demon-spawn-infested tile and stucco livingroom, with a tasteful gray sofa and blood-orange chair, atop a hand woven moroccan rug.



Man up, darin. Next option.



I could set the entire house on fire!!! Done.



My gas can is outside by the mower - the outside is past the bat and the dogs. I suppose i could build a rudimentary fire bow and work an ember into some sort of kindling...



Next option...i could try to smite the foul beast. Ugh. At my disposal was an army surplus bayonet, and a dish towl. The knife would work but would mean i have to get close to the enemy. The towel! I could whip the thing like indiana jones did! That would even be kinda manly!! Ever see two kids fighting? Where they just kinda flail their arms in a circle motion hoping to land a blow? Not manly. So i swing like a windmill and hope i made contact as the little bastard flies around mockingly from the diningroom to the livingroom (reason #43 why open floor plans suck) i dip dived ducked and dodged - in my mind it was like the matrix. In reality i probably looked like a nerve agent casualty.



Finally the Holy Spirit reached down and saved me as i managed to make contact.



But...what have i Done!??! The little guy fell and landed atop an ornamental lamp i got in korea, shaped like a little korean house. I cautiously approached and saw him wadded into a little ball.



A little sad but a lot “still alive” i grabbed the little lamp/house with one hand, the other hand holding my phone taking video. I thought if i died i wanted people to see how it happened. I tossed the bat out into the yard where it fell, and rested motionless. Curious, i reached my phone over its carcass and snapped a pic.



I tried to sit down but i was amped up. I was shaking a little and nauseated. I tried to eat but food made me think of that bat’s little jagged teeth digging through my neck to find either of my carotid arteries.



I braved another peek out the door and saw him still crumpled there.



Now i felt terrible. The little ugly flying troll didnt know he was in my house and probably had no idea what was happening. Did bad luck lead to his death? If he just stayed home last night instead of going out with his bat-buddies and maybe having a few too many...i dunno...maybe he hooked up with a bat-bar-floozie and made questionable decisions....maybe he snuck away after she fell sleep but he was still drunk so stumbled into my house by mistake and all he was thinking the whole time was “what the HELL happened?? Where am I? And where are my bat-pants??!!”





To die at the hand of an almost-crying 230lbs man-child....





I looked out once more before i left (late) for work, and he was gone. Hopefully home.

 

"I looked out once more before i left (late) for work, and he was gone. Hopefully home."

Yeah, back into your dining room. His new home.

 

you can go to hell for that. omg....

One lady at work said "There's probably a bunch of them in your attic!"

I need to PCS like...Now.

 

Haha
Better get a bat detector or poke your head up into that attic.

 

F-that. I was an Air Defender but we got to shoot from "3-5km" away...fire-and-forget...

I'll call my landlord...I'll let *her* get up there and be the bad-ass.

 

Wanna lord over this land? Here's some bats.

 

Had one in a locked up warehouse compound years back. Every night for a week the Police would call about a possible break in around the same time of early morning just to find nothing. Finally found it dead after gorging itself on confectionary items. The stuff will kill you I said all along.

 

We have a cat hanging out at work. I got her some food when I went to get calzones earlier. If she's still out there this morning I think I'll take her home. I'm not a big fan of cats, but this one actually wants attention. She has come up the past 2 nights and played beside me while I enjoyed a long dart.

 

I used to have a cat that had that pattern. Always liked the look of it.

We have a cat at our apartment complex that seems to be in cahoots with the racoons. Always see em diggin in the trash together.

 

This one is a sweet cat. She has found me the last 2 nights. She at least has food and water for now. I'll take her if she's there when I leave. She has even let me pick her up.

 

I generally like cats. Ours - Ziva - is a VERY Good cat. She is black with green eyes and loves attention and affection and wants to be 'part of' just about everything.

 

quoting myself...just as an aside....now if I could find a grown-up human woman with the SAME attributes/characteristics...hrm...

#lonely
#exceptforBats

 

Markings kinda like a Squirrel if I’m seein’ it right. Cat Camo.