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Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right (1) (Oh Crap Parenting) Paperback – Illustrated, June 16, 2015

by Jamie Glowacki (Author)

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Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right (1) (Oh Crap Parenting)
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From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures).

Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents.

Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself:

-How do I know if my kid is ready?
-Why won’t my child poop in the potty?
-How do I avoid “potty power struggles”?
-How can I get their daycare provider on board?
-My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing?
-And what about nighttime?!

Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.

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Popular Highlights in this book

What are popular highlights?

Your child should go commando (aka, no underpants but with pants) for about a month, give or take a week.
Highlighted by 5,983 Kindle readers
From start date to self-initiation usually takes about three weeks for most kids, even superverbal communicators.
Highlighted by 5,432 Kindle readers
Remember: you are not asking your child if he has to pee. You are prompting him to use the potty.
Highlighted by 5,330 Kindle readers

From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

“I was terrified and then I read this book. … It took three days and then [all] was fine!” -- Christina Ricci

“I'm saving a ton of money not buying diapers now. It's mainly because I don't actually have a baby, but having this wonderful book certainly didn't hurt.” -- Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess and New York Times bestselling author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

“Most of us think of potty training in the top 10 of Crappiest Chores of Parenting. But check it out! It doesn't have to be with Jamie's Oh Crap! Potty Training. Straight up, parent tested, and funny to boot, Jamie gives you all the information you need to get YOUR Crappy Baby out of diapers. 'Cause really, Crappy Big Kids are way more fun when they can wipe their own butt. You must own this book. And read it.” -- Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures

“Oh Crap! Potty Training will equip parents to successfully walk their young children through the pottying process. With straight-forward language, a focus on learning blocks, the use of a clear process, troubleshooting suggestions, and how to prevent power struggles, Glowacki gives parents the tools they need to help their children pee and poo independently.” -- Andrea Nair, therapist and author of Connect Four Parenting

“Jamie Glowacki tells it like it is. She is the real deal. In Oh Crap! Potty Training she explains pottytraining logically and informatively and speaks to parents ina refreshingly non-judgmental way, while empoweringthem to take on the sometimes daunting task of potty training. Breaking down hertechniques in her 6 Block Method allows parents to take on the processwith their child, step by step, and answers all thewhat-if’s and when-to’s along the way. Her advice will give youconfidence, motivation, and have you laughing while you get rid of the diapers for good. She is my go-to ‘pee’ and ‘poop’ expert for all my parents, and this is a book I will recommend again and again.” -- Alanna McGinn, Founder of Good Night Sleep Site www.goodnightsleepsite.com

About the Author

Jamie Glowacki is an internationally recognized potty training and parenting expert. Her two former careers as social worker and circus performer make her uniquely qualified to deal with toddlers (and poop). She is the author of Oh Crap! Potty Training and Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler. Visit her at JamieGlowacki.com.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Chapter 1: In the Beginning… CHAPTER 1 In the Beginning…
First off, although I’ll admit that I really like the word crap, I tend to use pee and poop with my own child, and those are the words I’ll use in this book. I think they are pretty commonplace and fit the bill nicely. However, don’t feel you have to use them. You should decide on your own family’s lingo. Any words will do, as long as there is consistency.

One thing I’ll be talking about quite a lot is mixed messages. We send our children many mixed messages about potty training, and I think that’s one of the reasons it’s become such a huge ordeal. The words you use are just one example. I don’t care if you choose to say poop, crap, she-she, urine, BM, peeps, caca, doody, lala, foofoo… whatever. Just be consistent. Bear in mind, this word will be said very loudly in church, at the library, in the market. Be sure it’s a word you are comfortable with at high volume and frequency. I’ve worked with parents who say “caca” at home and then try to get away with “BM” in public. The toddler mind doesn’t work that way. Don’t confuse the issue.

Regarding the term “potty training,” I know some parents object to the term. I’ve heard it said that training is for animals, not children. Let’s just agree that “training” is synonymous with “learning” for our purposes. After all, even as an adult, you “train” in something in order to learn it. As an analogy, when you get a new job, you receive training. Someone already skilled guides you through your new duties. On your first day of work, does your boss sit and wait for your cues that you’re ready? Ready for what? When you make a mistake, does your boss get distraught and fire you? No. Most likely, you are clearly told what is expected of you and shown how to do it. When you make mistakes, your boss gently tells you what you did wrong and how do it right. After a certain amount of time, you’re expected to have mastered your new duties. There you go—that’s potty training.

I also like to compare potty training to learning to walk. I’ve always been amazed by kids learning to walk. Let’s face it—they get around much faster by crawling. So why take on this new skill? Because it’s in our nature as humans to walk upright. It’s also in our nature to pee and poop in designated areas. Even cultures that don’t have plumbing have definitive places for excrement.

Think back to when your child learned to walk. You probably watched her constantly to make sure she didn’t whack her head on something. You put her between your legs and held her hands and helped her along. You cheered her on and smothered her with kisses. You showed off her new skill to anyone who set foot in your house. When she fell and cried, you picked her up, dusted her off, and encouraged her to try again. Did you give her stickers or M&Ms for learning to walk? Did you beg and plead and ask her a million times a day if she felt like walking? Did you get all freaked out? Did you consult everyone you knew and research the topic endlessly? Probably not. You knew your child should start walking around twelve months, give or take a couple of months on either side. You might have bought a little push toy to help the process. You would have been concerned if she were eighteen months old and not showing any sign of walking. Generally speaking, you probably used your parental intuition and your knowledge of your child to help her learn how to walk.

Ideally, you’ll have a similar philosophy toward potty training.

One thing I’ve always found bizarre is that parents assume that potty training is just something the child is going to pick up. Why would they? They might realize it’s in their future, but so is driving. The need to pee and poop is a primal one; learning to put it somewhere specific is social, and social behavior must be taught.

I like to remind parents that kids don’t know the beauty of potty training. The only thing they know is the comfort and safety of wearing a diaper. This is completely uncharted territory. Since coming out of the womb, all they’ve known is a snug diaper. Seriously: some babies have a diaper on before their first nursing! It’s like the ultimate security blanket. This is especially important to remember if you’re met with resistance. Not wearing a diaper can feel strange, uncomfortable, and unsafe to a small child. It’s your job to guide your child through this new territory. After all, using the potty is a skill you’ve already mastered. Well, let’s hope so anyway.

So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. The number one question I’m most asked is “What’s the trick?” Are you ready for the trick? The Big Trick of Potty Training? Memorize this. Study it intently. Are you sure you’re ready?

YOU.

Let me repeat that. You, you, you, you, you, you.

YOU are the parent. YOU provide safety and boundaries for your child. YOU are the teacher. YOU provide a loving environment where it’s safe to grow. Again, YOU provide the boundaries. It is your job to nurture your child to their fullest potential. It’s your job to instill dignity and self-respect.

More than just you, it’s your commitment. This is a big deal, your commitment. Potty training is not rocket science by any means. I can tell you what to do until I’m blue in the face, but until you decide you are committed to the process, it’s not going to fly with your child.

When I say “commitment,” I mean your commitment to consistency. This is a new skill you are teaching your child. Humans learn by repetition. I repeat: humans learn by repetition.

Even as an adult, have you learned a skill and then not used it consistently and lost it? Of course you have. Pick a skill. I’ve tried to learn knitting for years. I start, and then I don’t do it enough, and I forget. I have to learn all over again every time. It’s ever so slightly easier the next time, but not by much. How about playing a musical instrument? Consistent practice is vital. Very few people make significant progress by playing just once in a while. Think of your job. Skills that are now second nature once took a lot of thought and concentration. After enough repetition, things just sink in.

While potty training, you need to be consistent and firm. By firm, I mean “without question,” not aggressive or pushy. I would say firm can be a pretty contentious word in parenting these days. I have so many clients who are afraid of being firm. Being firm and meaning business is good, and it doesn’t have to look mean. Many modern parents are afraid of being an authoritative presence in their homes. Most of the time this is because their parents were over-the-top authoritative (authoritarian), and it left a sour taste in their mouth and/or resulted in years of therapy. Still, there’s a happy medium. Your child needs you to be the authority figure and wants you to be in charge. To have no boundaries is like a free fall through life. So don’t be afraid of being assertive and firm. Again, not mean, not aggressive or pushy. We’ll definitely touch on this throughout the book for clarity.

Consistency is how your child learns effortlessly. How many times did you sing the ABC song before your child sang it through by herself? Did you sing it a couple of times every couple of weeks and then expect her to sing it for Grandma? I don’t know about you, but I think I sang that song twenty times an hour, over and over and over. Remember, too, that children love consistency. All children, even adventurous children, love routine. Read it again. Sing it again. Build it again. Things we repeat feel safe to our kids. They know what to expect and are prepared. Spirited children, especially, need and crave routine.

It’s amazing to me that we would expect a child to step up to the task of potty training without this consistency. Examples of inconsistency are to occasionally have them go on the pot but sometimes put on a diaper, or to sometimes demand they go on the pot but other times let it slide. This results in such a constant giving and taking away of responsibility that it’s no wonder so many power struggles ensue. Doesn’t that make sense? It does to me, and yet I often hear these statements:

“We don’t really care right now.”

“We’re going to wait till she’s ready.”

“We’re just being really casual about it.”
“We don’t really care right now.”
What I think people mean when they say this is that they’re not really committed—that it’s not a high priority in their lives right now. Which is fine. Just be honest with yourself. If it’s not a high priority with you, it’s not going to be a high priority for your child either. I spend a great deal of time in my classes on this topic. Often, parents realize that they are afraid to commit because they don’t know what to do and they’re concerned that they might fail.

More often, though, parents feel something along the lines of, “Eh… we just don’t feel like it’s that important right now,” “We are doing other things,” or “What’s the rush? She’ll do it. I mean, she’s not going to college in diapers, right?” True, your child is most likely not going to college in diapers. But I routinely get clients who’ve had to delay preschool because of a lack of potty training. Last September, two sets of parents came to me after their children were asked to leave kindergarten for not being trained properly. So yeah, it might not be vital right this minute, but it’s going to creep up on you faster than you know. And I’ll be beating this particular horse till it’s good and dead: the longer you wait to potty train, the harder it gets.

Another reason behind the “we don’t care” attitude is that something is happening in your life and you know you can’t give potty training the attention it needs. That’s completely understandable if there’s actually going to be a break in the action at some point. I remember a mom emailing me. She and her husband were both medical residents, and she was expecting her second child. She felt life was too hectic to potty train. To this, I responded, “It’s not going to be any less hectic for your family for a good long time.” True, if you are moving or traveling, now might not be the best time to potty train. But if your life itself is busy, you are going to have to carve out some time regardless.

I won’t lie to you. This process is going to require attention and focus on your part. Potty training is all you will be thinking about for at least a week or so. However, it will be—it should be—effortless on your child’s part.

Do I think it should be a high priority no matter what’s happening in your life right now? Yes, absolutely. Here’s why:

Environment. One year of one child using disposable diapers uses two full grown trees. Do the math, and it’s downright scary. There’s just no reason to prolong diaper use. Even if you use solely cloth—which very few people do—you’re still using valuable resources such as water for cotton processing and diaper washing.
Landfill space. It’s estimated that disposable diapers take anywhere from two hundred fifty to five hundred years to decompose. They are accumulating in our landfills at an alarming rate. What’s worse is very few people dispose of the poop in the toilet before throwing away the diaper—did you even know you’re supposed to do that?—so there’s the added problem of raw sewage in our landfills.
Your child’s dignity. This is one I’ll repeat over and over. We both know just how smart your child is. Doesn’t he deserve the dignity of not crapping in a diaper and still worse, sitting in it? Really think about that. Think about where your child is developmentally and just how undignified this is. I hear parents talk about giving their child self-esteem. Self-esteem comes from mastering a task, from gaining dignity and self-respect. Potty training is a way you can give this to your child.

“We’re going to wait till she’s ready.”
Oh. Boy. As reasons for delaying potty training go, this is the big one. I’d say this particular rationale is responsible for more potty training drama than any other. If you really follow this thought through, it doesn’t make any sense. First, I’d like to point out some realities of toddlerhood. In what other area of development do you wait until your child is ready? Do you wait until he’s ready to go to bed? (I sincerely hope not. That’s another book entirely.) How about when your toddler decides she’s ready to play with knives? If you have errands to run, do you stay home until your toddler is ready to leave the house? What about if she’s not ready to get in her car seat? Do you drive off anyway?

I’m being a bit facetious, of course, but I’m just trying to point out that there are nonnegotiables with our children. We don’t let toddlers decide too much on their own; their brains just aren’t fully formed yet. We are constantly deciding things for them, for their well-being, developmental and emotional growth, and safety. These nonnegotiables exist simply because we, as the more experienced humans, understand some things better than our toddlers do.

One of my favorite books in the parenting world is Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. The most fabulous concept I got from his book is that we are, in general, offering our children too many choices. Further, we are expecting them to have the thought processes of an adult. Children don’t have fully developed frontal lobes, which are responsible for judgment. We cannot present them with unlimited choices. If we do, they will not make good long-term choices. To expect them to do so is to rush childhood, which is wild when you think about it. I feel that the idea of “waiting till they are ready” falls into the category of giving the toddler more choices than he can reasonably handle.

In my experience, “waiting till they are ready” leads to disasters. You’ve probably heard, unless you live in a cave, that “ready” is around three years. Not so. That’s past ready. Once a child is three, he is well into the process of individualization, which is the process by which he begins to realize he is his own person and has his own free will and can make his own choices. Hmmm. What do you suppose will happen if he decides he doesn’t want to use the potty and that the diaper is working just fine for him?

I’ll tell you what will happen: you’ll have a drama-filled disaster. It’s really hard to potty train children over three. They have free will, and they know how to use it.

So this notion of “waiting till they’re ready” is somewhat ludicrous. You are going to have to give potty training some attention and focus, whether you tackle it when your child is two, three, four, five, or six years old. Regardless of the child’s age, she is still going to need your attention, help, and guidance. Please don’t wait until she is beyond four—talk about giving her low self-esteem. If you wait that long, you should probably save for therapy, not college.

There’s also the question of what, exactly, “ready” means. If you are waiting for a magical day when your child up and decides diapers are no longer for him and just does his business on the toilet, keep dreaming. This child is a fictional character. Okay, not completely fictional, but this child is extremely rare. And no matter what you’ve heard about other parents’ kids, I have to be honest—I think some moms who say their kid just decided on his own one day have sort of fudged the details. I know this is shocking, but some moms are competitive. Also, I think potty training pains are like labor pains: the details get fuzzy over time.

I’d say my biggest fight as a potty trainer is this “wait till they are ready” business. The only reason I do fight is for the kids; in my job, I have the dubious luxury of seeing big numbers, and I see where this can lead. Frankly, it can lead to full-blown disasters. It can lead to six-year-olds requesting diapers so they can poop. A friend of mine told me about a parenting forum where a mom was talking about her six-year-old wearing pull-ups to his first sleepover. He was mortified when he got home. He told his mom, “This is your fault.” There you have it. Despite all this, the other moms on the forum were saying things like, “Don’t worry. He’ll do it when he’s ready.” OMG. So maybe some kids will be going to college in diapers.

The whole point is this: some kids will never be “ready” on their own. Also, trying to potty train an older child is hard. I also suspect that the muscles used to control holding and releasing pee and poop are developing around two years of age. If you wait beyond three years of age to potty train, it’s as though these muscles have learned to not be able to hold the pee. This is my own theory based upon what I know about muscle development, combined with the large number of incontinence issues I’ve seen in kids over three.

Dr. T. Berry Brazelton is a very famous pediatrician who has become the foremost advocate of late potty training. He’s promoted late potty training and the whole “wait till they’re ready theory” since the 1960s and pretty aggressively at that. It also turns out that he was a paid spokesperson for Pampers. Pretty clear conflict of interest, don’t you think? Bear in mind that disposable diapers are a $450-billion-a-year business, so there’s a pretty high stake in keeping you mucked up about potty training. If you’d like to read my very hard-core view (meaning, I drop the f-bomb every two sentences) you can check out my blog post “I’m Pissed and I’m Naming Names.”

Rather than thinking about readiness, I’d like you to think in terms of capability, as in, “Is my child capable of learning this right now?”

In expressing this idea to parents, I often use the example of my son learning to tie his shoes. He never really asked me if he could learn this skill, and Velcro had certainly made my life easier. Still, I know that learning to tie shoes generally happens sometime around kindergarten, and I think it’s a pretty important life skill. I therefore made a concerted effort, once he hit that age, to buy only shoes with laces. I knew if I bought Velcro, I’d cave in to the morning rush. Life will always happen, so if we want to change something, we have to make an effort. I set aside thirty minutes every morning to teach my son to tie his shoes. There was a fair amount of frustration; the worst was on my part for feeling that I was inept or that I was not being a good teacher, despite the fact that I’ve been tying shoes for years. The whole process required a fair amount of patience from us both. Still, after six days of consistently attending to this task, voilà! My son can tie his own shoes. Did he show signs of readiness? No, not really. Rather, I used an outside age marker and my “Spidey Mom Sense” to determine that he was capable.

In my experience, many not-yet-potty-trained kids are capable, and may even show outward signs of readiness. But I think in our very busy lives, these subtle signs go undetected. I also think most people think the desire and willingness to sit and go potty on the toilet will increase with time. As in, if he asks to go on the potty once in a while right now, next month he will be asking to go every day. Again, this is just my experience, but I’ve found that if you don’t seize the appropriate window, the kid just moves on and forgets about it. In other words, the interest in using the toilet does not increase exponentially with time—it peaks and goes away.

Most moms, probably including you, are reading this book because you know deep in your heart that your child is ready. Go with that feeling. I’m going to help you tap into your own intuition about potty training. I’m a big believer in “go with your gut.”
“We’re just being really casual about it.”
I hear this one a lot, and to some extent, it’s fine. Just know that if you’re really casual about potty training, your child will also be really casual about it. I should clarify that by “casual,” I don’t mean you have a casual demeanor. I mean you have your child pee in the potty once or twice a day, or you sometimes put a diaper on him and sometimes don’t. The problem with this approach is there comes a time when it’s no longer appropriate. Maybe your chosen preschool or kindergarten won’t allow your child attend untrained. Or you were fine with the casual approach for a two- or three-year old, but now your child is four, and you feel like it’s time to get serious. Stay casual too long and you will have missed the window of opportunity; consequently, it becomes infinitely harder to train the child. You’ll be facing nothing but power struggles, and your life will turn into a living hell.

I also think “being casual about it” sends a very mixed message. Let’s look at this through toddler eyes. Remember toddlers are sponges; they learn very quickly. Also remember that toddlers are linear thinkers with no concept of time. Let’s say you start with casual potty training. You announce that you are potty training, but what you mean is that you are going to have your child pee when it’s convenient, such as in the morning before getting dressed. Or in the evening before bath. Your child is going to literally learn this: potty training means peeing on the potty sometimes, but not all the time.

Let’s say you take this approach for about a year, which is what usually happens. Then the time comes when the potty training needs to be done already. You say, “Okay, now it’s really time to potty train.”

Your child is going to do a toddler version of “WTF? I’ve got this down. I’m doing what she asked.” In switching approaches, you’ve just added a complicated additional step to the whole process. As a result, you have to reteach the concept of what potty training means. Do you see?

I think a lot of parents expect that the child will realize naturally that one day, he’s going to go pee and poop on the toilet, but in reality, that’s a big conceptual leap to expect from a toddler. Why would your child make that assumption when all he’s known since birth is a diaper?

The whole casual approach makes me cringe. I’d say a good 80 percent of my current clients are parents who took this approach and now have an older child in diapers. Then they have to call me in. It is not easy to potty train four- and five-year-olds—trust me. I’m not judging at all, but IT’S JUST SO MUCH EASIER WHEN YOU POTTY TRAIN AT THE APPROPRIATE TIME! Heavy on the capitals, I know, but I feel that strongly about this.

Most children between eighteen and twenty-four months begin to show an interest in the toilet. Often this has more to do with the toilet itself, the bathroom, and the spinning toilet paper than it does with a bodily function. It’s also an interest in mimicking Mom and Dad. This interest doesn’t necessarily signal any readiness to potty train; I always look for other markers. This brings us the next big issue in potty training.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Gallery Books; First Paperback Edition (June 16, 2015)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1501122983
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1501122989
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #535 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #6 in Baby & Toddler Parenting

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4.5 13,380 ratings

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Jamie Glowacki

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Jamie Glowacki is a mom, social worker, and potty-training guru based in Rhode Island. Visit her at JamieGlowacki.com.

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JHanlon

THE BEST Potty Training Book! Potty Trained my 21 month old in about 1 week!

Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2016

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This book is THE BEST, most current book on potty training available. I purchased this book before beginning in earnest the potty-training process with our daughter. We introduced the concept of the potty at 16-18 months, and did the potty training over the course of 5 days (1 long 3-day weekend and 2 days off from work) when she was 21 months old. The author of Oh Crap!, Jamie Glowacki, is very glib, so I can see how some people might be put off by her style. If you're interested in getting a sense of her methods and style, I recommend visiting her blog (jamieglowacki dot com) or viewing some of her videos on YouTube (channel "oh crap with jamie").

When it comes down to it, her method WORKS. However, even though she says to follow her methods exactly, she also says in other parts of the book that you can do what you think is best for your child -- but if it doesn't work, then you've been warned! Fair enough. We did the bare bottom for days 1-2. Day 1 wasn't great, but on day 2 something just clicked and she actually started going to the potty on her own! Day 3 she was commando, but was running to the potty so often that she didn't have her pants on very much. Listen to Jamie's advice, don't give your under 2 year old extra fluids. On day 4 we tried commando again, but it just didn't work. When she had an accident, it just made her socks wet and her upper pants stayed dry. There was no real discomfort associated with peeing her pants. So after her mid-day nap, we switched to training pants - with no pants. This worked great! Only 2 accidents. Day 5 she was in training pants most of the day, with pants on to go on trips outside the house. Day 6 fully clothed all day with short trips outside (5-10-15-20-30 minutes) and everything was great. Only issue was number 2, which she still wasn't comfortable with. Day 7 she was back at daycare, no accidents, except a number 2, but later went 2 in the potty! Day 8 perfect, a couple small accidents, but still going 2 in the potty. Day 9 same. Day 10, back at daycare again and ZERO accidents.

Based on our interpretation of potty trained, our daughter is fully potty trained: she can now verbalize when she needs to go, will sometimes go when prompted, and will sometimes go without telling us (we've surprisingly found her on several occasions peeing on the potty with her pants down), consistently goes 1 and 2 on the potty, has a complete potty routine, and stay dry for naps. Averaging 0-2 accidents per day, with 0 days more often.

In terms of nap and night training, we also deviated a bit from Jamie's method. Our daughter has been staying dry for naps while in diapers, so we didn't put her in a pull-up for that, and just used training pants. She's had zero accidents during naps. Dry every day. So she's completely day-trained. At night we're using a pull-up (technically pampers easy-ups), but even still, she has woken up on at least 4 mornings with a completely dry diaper and has begun to consistently self-initiate the morning pee. So, we're happy with it as is. We have no intention of waking our daughter up in the middle of the night. We're just going to continue having her use the potty before bed and upon waking, and hopefully we will see a progression to more dry mornings. If not, and we're getting close to the 2.5 year mark, we may intervene and use Jamie's method.

I get why there are negative reviews for this book. Jamie tells it like it is, and some people don't like that. It's a book, it's not like she's there with you, making you do anything. If you don't want to do it her way, then do what you think is best for your child, but honestly, she knows her stuff and her advice works. Slight modifications here and there are fine, but you can't hodgepodge different methods together or deviate significantly and expect the same promised results.

This book is THE model that you should follow. This is the ONLY book you need to buy on potty training. Just BUY IT, READ IT, THEN START the process when you have 3-5 days to devote exclusively to spending time with your child. This book has everything you need. Plenty of chapters of prep, a clear how-to chapter, a chapter on nighttime training, chapters on trouble-shooting related to each stage or block of the potty-training process, a chapter on poop, a chapter on daycare - just look at the Table of Contents in the Amazon Preview. This book even has a Dad's cheat sheet (which could have a more neutral title, but you know, hetero-normative gender roles...), as well as a general parents' cheat sheet. Both of these were extremely useful. My husband would not read this entire book, but did read those two cheat sheets.

Lastly, I would also attribute our potty training success to the following products and books used in conjunction with Oh Crap!
- Elmo's Potty Time Sesame Street - Elmo's Potty Time Yes, you can rent it via Amazon on-demand, but trust me, you're going to want to have a hard copy that you can watch infinite times.
- Fisher Price singing potty (do you really want to be checking between your child's legs every couple minutes to see if they peed? This tells you instantaneously, even if you're in the other room, and my daughter loves the instant gratification and fun songs) Fisher-Price Potty Training, Learn-to-Flush
- Baby Bjorn potty chair BABYBJORN Potty Chair, Gray Because you'll need a second potty, and because everyone told us we HAD to get this one. It's fine, perhaps more ergonomic. Definitely more portable than the Fisher-Price chair.
- Big Girls Use the Potty! (in paperback) Big Girls Use the Potty! It breaks the process down step-by-step for young girls (it also comes in a boy version) and has a sticker chart and stickers. We didn't use the stickers as rewards (my daughter was too young to grasp that concept - Jamie also advises against rewards), but did use the chart as a visualization of our daughter's potty progress - a concept she COULD understand and she took much pride in counting all her stars.
- Potty by Leslie Patricelli Potty (Leslie Patricelli board books) Cute, easy for toddlers to understand, simple text and pictures with room for improvisation by parents
- Oxo Tot 2-in-1 Go Potty OXO Tot 2-in-1 Go Potty for Travel - Green Eventually you're going to have to take your child outside for more than 30 minutes, and this is where things get complicated. Public restrooms are gross. Put this on the FLOOR as far away from the toilet as possible in the large accessible bathroom stall. Once they're older/bigger this seat also morphs into a potty seat for use on the toilet. It's extremely useful for all the random times your child tells you they need to go - at the park, immediately after arriving somewhere in the car, in the elevator...

114 people found this helpful

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Chelsea

I would give this book ten stars if I could!

Reviewed in the United States on April 18, 2024

Verified Purchase

I was hesitant to buy this based on other reviews, but I am so glad I didn't hesitate. We're eight days into using this method and my almost 3 yo daughter is basically day time potty trained. Accidents are rare, if any. The method laid out in the book is intense but simple. We followed it to a T and are amazed at the results! I am already recommending this to any friends or family members who will listen.

Some other reviewers were critical of what they called shaming and condescending language. I found the author's tone appropriate for the situation. Her approach and the reasoning behind it are totally logical. She has a lot of data to back her claims up as this is what she does for a living and we could all benefit from listening to this expert!

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Kelly

Helpful, amusing, thought provoking, and not as judgmental as some people seem to think.

Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2016

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It's funny what some people will lock on when reading a book. I bought this because I was having issues potty training my 3rd child (the first was essentially potty trained by a day care and ended up with long term bowel trouble, the second trained very late and only because we took away all TV until he was trained). Even if I had a great method before, I had my third when the other two were 10 and 7 - it had been too long for me to remember how to do this.

For me, the two biggest take-away CLICK! moments were 1) Don't ask, plead, beg, or fuss at your kid to go potty. Just say "Time to go potty, and then you can come back and play more". My 3 year old said NO the first two days, but I picked him up and took him to the potty, sat him down, he peed, and was proud of himself. By day 4 he was telling me that he had to go! 2) She asks "What is your child capable of?" my Word! Of COURSE he was capable of walking to the potty, pulling down his pants, and going! He had been casually telling me for weeks that he had peed, and needed a change - of course he was capable of learning how to go potty! Those two mental shifts were all I needed to get going - he was clearly ready and waiting for me.

The other very helpful thing about this book is the clear step-by-step expectations. A child has to stand before walking, walk before running. By the same token, a child must learn THAT they're going, what it feels like when they're about to go, and then they can tell their parent that they need to go. She doesn't jerk you around with the idea that your kid will be flawlessly trained in 3 days - she gives reasonable expectations for each step of the way. Most importantly, she tells parents about times where their child will likely struggle, even if they had been doing fine until then - and not to give up then!

As for the negative reviews - as a third time mom, I'm pretty used to taking what I think is helpful and discarding what isn't from various sources. For example, for my kid, I didn't even need to do naked time - I've been pretty in-tune with his potty signals for a long time. But the logic behind going commando is faultless - undies feel like diapers around the tush, and it's hard to break the habit of a lifetime without making things feel very different. I don't think she was shaming or deliberately guilt-tripping anyone - I think the people taking that away from this book were already feeling conflicted and freaked out about how long it's taken to potty train or are feeling very defensive about having to work outside the home. I've been both, and I remember how sensitive I felt anytime someone said BOO about me sending the kids to day care.

She does give tips about how to make this method work even if you are a working household and have to deal with daycare. That said, it's unequivocally easier to potty train if you have the freedom to do it yourself at home. Otherwise you have to get all other caregivers on board, and that can get tough. That's not guilt tripping or shaming - that's a plain fact.

The night time advice isn't all that helpful, but to be fair it's the exact same advice my pediatrician kept giving when my older son had bed wetting trouble. It must work for some kids, otherwise it wouldn't hang on this long.

All in all, a book that helped THIS mom and her 3 year old get with the potty program before baby #4 came on the scene!

20 people found this helpful

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Shalini

This book is a MUST HAVE for Potty Training

Reviewed in Canada on August 4, 2023

Verified Purchase

I do not know Jamie now have I ever met her in person, but I sure do feel like I do. This book was a life saver to get me ready and prepared for a successful potty training adventure... I trained my daughter at 30 months (1.5 years ago) and my son at 24 months (2 months ago) and have never needed to rely on diapers thereafter. They learnt their body so well and so quickly and are even self-initiating (even the little 2 year old after just 2 months) that we literally don't have to worry about them.

Jamie is awesome, super funny and honestly so real.... she a conscious parent who is a realist and is always thinking from the child's perspective, empowering them to be their best selves and setting them up for success, while ensuring that the parents remain sane through the process ;) Her book is such an easy read, plus she has tons of resources online to help support. She also posts constantly on social media with tips, insights and advice and even does podcasts so that she can help and support with struggles as they occur.

If you're starting to go down the path of potty training with your little.... do yourself a favour and get this book..... I would 100% recommend Jamie's philosophy, insights, teachings, videos, podcasts and book(s) - yes I have gone through them all, including the Oh Crap! Parenting / Toddler book as well and she has helped me so much with navigating through my daughter's threenager (and now fournager) mind & emotions. Thank you so much Jamie! You're a life saver!

Natasha

Incredibly Helpful and Refreshing Book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 13, 2024

Verified Purchase

Bought this book on the recommendation of a friend, just as we are beginning to potty train our 27 month old - and so far it has been enormously helpful. Sets out every phase clearly, with chapters dedicated to particular issues (e.g. night training, nursery, etc.) so you can skip to the relevant parts.

I particularly like how decisive and objective she is about certain issues (sadly a rarity nowadays with parenting advice). I.e. she clearly states what works, what doesn't work, and most importantly why. She is clearly qualified to make these statements given she is a professional potty trainer, her advice makes sense as soon as you think about it - much more so than contrasting advice I've heard elsewhere.

Hugely recommend for anyone wanting to successfully potty train and needing a little bit of guidance, like me!

One person found this helpful

Lula Smith

You can do it Mama!

Reviewed in France on August 28, 2023

Verified Purchase

I purchased this book because I wanted to tr port training my son who turned 2 year old in July. In france a child has to be port trained by 3 years old i order to be able to attend school. I have 13 nieces and nephews and I have seen my sisters almost tear their hairs out when it came to potty training their 3+ year olds. I felt like starting school is stressful enough so why not try to have him gain this essential skill earlier on? I also worked from home and had no plans to is summer so I thought this was a great time to do this. I didn’t know the author at all. Never read her blog, but the reviews seemed positive so I gave it a try. He didn’t know his ABCs but he did seem really interested in the toilet and would fight me when I tried to put on a diaper on him after his bath. He also had a dry diaper after his nap like 90% of the time. Despite all of this I was scared, but I was determined and like all big new steps on a motherhood journey I had to trust myself and also my child. Day 2 almost broke me as I was doing it all myself, there was pee everywhere all the time. He would get up RIGHT WHEN IT WAS TIME TO PEE. But I persevered and most importantly I called REINFORCEMENTS. So I was not the only one on what I called pee watch. My mother in law came to help for 1 week and she was just as gentle and determined with him as I was. And exactly what she said by day 3 the signs became clearer, he would firsr cross his legs get an uh oh look and the pee would come. By day 5 I would put him on the potty and he would go. We did it all at once, night training, nap training and it was the right decision for us. I followed all her instructions, going commando, reducing water intake as the day went on and it was messy. I even cried a couple of times but now we are on week 3 and he is 25 months old, asks to use the potty and most importantly I have seen his confidence grow significantly. I am so proud of him and so happy I used this book to potty train my son.

One person found this helpful

Adriana Ibañez

Buena aportación, pero no la mejor

Reviewed in Mexico on November 7, 2019

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Es una guía útil sobre cómo llevar el entrenamiento para dejar el pañal. He escuchado este “método” con varias mamás y pensé que al leer el libro me quedaría más claro, no lo hizo. Sin embargo, creo que para mamás como yo, perdidas en el tema está bien de inicio.

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Miss

Muy recomendable

Reviewed in Spain on June 15, 2020

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It really works!

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Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right (1) (Oh Crap Parenting) Paperback – Illustrated, June 16, 2015

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