Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

357sig · Aug 29, 2015

Did you do it under an umbrella?

weldertaco · Aug 29, 2015

At a storage unit auction lol just bought a unit for $50 anyone need a couch or tables and stools?

13SilverStreakTRD · Aug 29, 2015

357sig said: ↑

Did you do it under an umbrella?
Click to expand...

No, from across the street at the bar, Patio tables so that might count

TXSmiley · Aug 29, 2015

Morning All

Arkansas30 said: ↑

True but still a sad deal.
Click to expand...

I got scared real quick, the Sheriffs that I know and adore are in that area.

Also happening shortly, 1045 is the predicted time, is a fly over TMC for Dr. "Red"Duke, so if you are on the flight path from EFD, you may catch a glimpse of them.

Be safe out there y'all.

greeneggsnspam · Aug 29, 2015

TXSmiley said: ↑

Morning All
Click to expand...

weldertaco · Aug 29, 2015

All this for $50 score!

Lurkin · Aug 29, 2015

weldertaco said: ↑

Straight
Click to expand...

Wouldn't think it would be the locker going straight. But downside, that leaves the ring and/or pinion. Wonder if a pinion bearing could cause that??

Overkill07 · Aug 29, 2015

scottalot said: ↑

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife, Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat, Gracie, looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it, dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles no where to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an atempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
Click to expand...

scottalot said: ↑

E-mails from an Asshole
Click to expand...

Thank you for the great laughs ths morning. Definitely will make this a better day for all around me!

357sig said: ↑

I like to drink. I don't like parties!
Click to expand...

^X2^ Parties is usually where the trouble finds me...

weldertaco said: ↑

At a storage unit auction lol just bought a unit for $50 anyone need a couch or tables and stools?
Click to expand...

Where is this said auction at. I love those things! It's like a kid at Christmas. You never know what going to be in there!

Biscuits · Aug 29, 2015

Overkill07 said: ↑

Thank you for the great laughs ths morning. Definitely will make this a better day for all around me!

^X2^ Parties is usually where the trouble finds me...

Where is this said auction at. I love those things! It's like a kid at Christmas. You never know what going to be in there!
Click to expand...

I'd handle that mattress stained with body fluids with gloves, or better yet, a flame thrower.

weldertaco · Aug 29, 2015

Actually the mattress is clean as can be. Everything was really in good condition in the unit. Nothing stunk or was stained.

TashcomerTexas · Aug 29, 2015

Get a black light kale

357sig · Aug 29, 2015

Lmao! Kale

weldertaco · Aug 29, 2015

Kale sounds like a douche who fucks yo chick in gucci flip flops

Large · Aug 29, 2015

Stalker · Aug 29, 2015

kale.

richardbui23 · Aug 29, 2015

weldertaco said: ↑

Kale sounds like a douche who fucks yo chick in gucci flip flops

Click to expand...

Kale wishes

weldertaco · Aug 29, 2015

Its not kale stop that!

because_wumbo-truck · Aug 29, 2015

I met a guy named Kale once

TashcomerTexas · Aug 29, 2015

I'm still having fun with this to kill shift time
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=63

richardbui23 · Aug 29, 2015

because_minitruck said: ↑

I met a guy named Kale once
Click to expand...

I have too. He's on this forum

Log in or Sign up

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

#87741
357sig Donut king

#87742
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87743
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#87744
TXSmiley Well-Known Member

#87745
greeneggsnspam ಠ_ಠ

#87746
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87747
Lurkin Well-Known Member

#87748
Overkill07 Tacoitis

#87749
Biscuits Thorny Crown of Entropy

#87750
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87751
TashcomerTexas My truck is a whiner

#87752
357sig Donut king

#87753
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87754
Large Red

#87755
Stalker Go where regrets can't follow.

#87756
richardbui23 That guy

#87757
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87758
because_wumbo-truck TTC#036 1st Degenerate Urban Off-Roader

#87759
TashcomerTexas My truck is a whiner

#87760
richardbui23 That guy

Products Discussed in

Log in or Sign up

Useful Searches

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

#87741 357sig Donut king

#87742 weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87743 13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#87744 TXSmiley Well-Known Member

#87745 greeneggsnspam ಠ_ಠ

#87746 weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87747 Lurkin Well-Known Member

#87748 Overkill07 Tacoitis

#87749 Biscuits Thorny Crown of Entropy

#87750 weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87751 TashcomerTexas My truck is a whiner

#87752 357sig Donut king

#87753 weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87754 Large Red

#87755 Stalker Go where regrets can't follow.

#87756 richardbui23 That guy

#87757 weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87758 because_wumbo-truck TTC#036 1st Degenerate Urban Off-Roader

#87759 TashcomerTexas My truck is a whiner

#87760 richardbui23 That guy

Products Discussed in Entire Site Forum: Texas Thread: Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

#87741
357sig Donut king

#87742
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87743
13SilverStreakTRD Insane but Functional

#87744
TXSmiley Well-Known Member

#87745
greeneggsnspam ಠ_ಠ

#87746
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87747
Lurkin Well-Known Member

#87748
Overkill07 Tacoitis

#87749
Biscuits Thorny Crown of Entropy

#87750
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87751
TashcomerTexas My truck is a whiner

#87752
357sig Donut king

#87753
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87754
Large Red

#87755
Stalker Go where regrets can't follow.

#87756
richardbui23 That guy

#87757
weldertaco Mr.13%bodyfat

#87758
because_wumbo-truck TTC#036 1st Degenerate Urban Off-Roader

#87759
TashcomerTexas My truck is a whiner

#87760
richardbui23 That guy

Products Discussed in