SGT Jones Joey Armand needs my help...

HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY? HOPE ALL IS WELL. <We're fine, thanks for asking>

MY NAME IS (SGT) JONES JOEY ARMAND; I AM AN AMERICAN SOLDIER, SERVING IN THE MILITARY WITH THE ARMY?S 3RD INFANTRY DIVISION. WITH A VERY DESPERATE NEED FOR ASSISTANCE, I HAVE SUMMED UP COURAGE TO CONTACT YOU. I FOUND YOUR CONTACT PARTICULARS IN AN ADDRESS JOURNAL.

I AM SEEKING YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE TO MOVE THE SUM OF($8 MILLION U.S. DOLLARS) EIGHT MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS TO YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY <don't you mean OUR country>, AS FAR AS I CAN BE ASSURED THAT MY SHARE WILL BE SAFE IN YOUR CARE UNTIL I COMPLETE MY SERVICE HERE. SOURCE OF MONEY: SOME MONEY IN VARIOUS CURRENCIES WERE DISCOVERED IN BARRELS AT A FARMHOUSE NEAR ONE OF SADDAM?S OLD PALACES IN TIKRIT-IRAQ DURING A RESCUE OPERATION, AND IT WAS AGREED BY STAFF SPC. DANIEL COLLIER AND I THAT SOME PART OF THIS MONEY BE SHARED AMONG BOTH OF US BEFORE INFORMING ANYBODY ABOUT IT SINCE BOTH OF US SAW THE MONEY FIRST.

THIS WAS QUITE AN ILLEGAL THING TO DO <so I should help with illegal activities>, BUT I TELL YOU WHAT? NO COMPENSATION CAN MAKE UP FOR THE RISK WE HAVE TAKEN WITH OUR LIVES IN THIS HELL HOLE.
<lady liberty can be a thankless bitch, eh Sgt Armand>
OF WHICH MY BROTHER IN-LAW WAS KILLED BY A ROAD SIDE BOMB LAST TIME.YOU WILL FIND THE STORY OF THIS MONEY ON THE WEB ADDRESS BELOW;

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

THE ABOVE FIGURE WAS GIVEN TO ME AS MY SHARE, AND TO CONCEAL THIS KIND OF MONEY BECAME A PROBLEM FOR ME, SO WITH THE HELP OF A BRITHISH <WTF?> CONTACT WORKING HERE AND HIS OFFICE ENJOY SOME IMMUNITY, I WAS ABLE TO GET THE PACKAGE OUT TO A SAFE LOCATION ENTIRELY OUT OF TROUBLE SPOT.

HE DOES NOT KNOW THE REAL CONTENTS OF THE PACKAGE, AND BELIEVES THAT IT BELONGS TO A BRITHISH/AMERICAN <again, WTF> MEDICAL DOCTOR WHO DIED IN A RAID HERE IN IRAQ, AND BEFORE GIVING UP, TRUSTED ME TO HAND OVER THE PACKAGE TO HIS FAMILY. I HAVE NOW FOUND A VERY SECURED WAY OF GETTING THE PACKAGE OUT OF IRAQ TO YOUR COUNTRY <again, OUR country> FOR YOU TO PICK UP, AND I WILL DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU WHEN I AM SURE THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST ME, AND I BELIEVE THAT MY MONEY WILL BE WELL SECURED IN YOUR HAND BECAUSE YOU HAVE FEAR OF GOD. I WANT YOU TO TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU WILL TAKE FROM THIS MONEY FOR THE ASSISTANCE YOU WILL GIVE TO ME.

ONE PASSIONATE APPEAL I WILL MAKE TO YOU IS NOT TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER WITH ANYBODY, SHOULD YOU HAVE REASONS TO REJECT THIS OFFER, PLEASE AND PLEASE DESTROY THIS MESSAGE AS ANY LEAKAGE OF THIS INFORMATION WILL BE TOO BAD FOR US SOLDIER?S HERE IN IRAQ. <Oops, my bad>

I DO NOT KNOW HOW LONG WE WILL REMAIN HERE, AND I HAVE BEEN SHOT, WOUNDED AND SURVIVED TWO SUICIDE BOMB ATTACKS BY! THE SPECIAL GRACE OF GOD, THIS AND OTHER REASONS I WILL MENTION LATER HAS PROMPTED ME TO REACH OUT FOR HELP,I HONESTLY WANT THIS MATTER TO BE RESOLVED IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE CONTACT ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE VIA E-MAIL WHICH IS MY ONLY WAY OF COMMUNICATION

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

SGT. JONES JOEY ARMAND.

3RD INFANTRY DIVISION

 

WTF?! You better help him quick! He is courageous after all to contact you and request to help his illegal operation!

 

I get that shit all the time, but its usually from some lady name Katherine Nightingale.

fucking spam shitbags.

sad someone sat around and used a made up name of a soldier...

 

I'll help! Where do I sent my bowl movements?

 

Damn, If you don't jump on it, I will!
How much of my money do I need to send him to get that money over here?