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What's ur best Chuck Norris Joke?

Discussion in '3rd Gen. Tacomas (2016-2023)' started by SMBHooker, Aug 20, 2018.

Page 1 of 6
  1. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:29 PM
    #1
    SMBHooker

    #1
    SMBHooker [OP] Mag Beast

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    https://youtu.be/CjGWmTH7C6g
    :rofl:

    Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded

    Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
     
    SMBHooker, Aug 20, 2018
    #1
    9TRDTCO, Tora, I married my tacoma and 5 others like this.
  2. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:31 PM
    #2
    Grossomotto

    #2
    Grossomotto Complete 3rd Member

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    39.9526° N, 75.1652° W
    Vehicle:
    2017 4WDV6LB6MT
    Chuck Norris changed my four shocks, coils, rear leafs, ecgs bushing and all my fluids in his sleep.

    Yeah I wish
     
    Grossomotto, Aug 20, 2018
    #2
    Dkurtz42 and tcjacado like this.
  3. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:33 PM
    #3
    the_tacocamper

    #3
    the_tacocamper The Taco Camper

    Joined:
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    First Name:
    Tyler
    Portland, Oregon
    Vehicle:
    2017 Tacoma DCSB 4x4
    -Prinsu designs cab rack -Southern Style slimline bumper -Smittybuilt XRC 9500 lbs winch -Cascadia 4x4 flipster -CBI off road ditch might brackets -KChilite flex dual ditch lights -Mountain Hatch tailgate reinforcement -Cali Raised LED faux TRD Pro grille -Cali Rasied LED bed stiffeners -Cali Raised LED 25 degree sliders -RCI metal works bed rack -RCI front skid plate -CVT Mt. Shasta Rooftop tent -K&N cold air intake -Tinted windows 15% -Chrome deleted (emblems/bumper) -Full size spare -OEM bed mat -Maxxtraxx SUSPENSION: -ARB BP-51s suspension w/reservoirs -OME heavy duty dakars -OME heavy springs -BFGoodrich KO2 285/70r17 -Method Roost race wheels INTERIOR: -Marathon seat covers -Hondo Garage phone mount -Ram ball mounts -Ram squeeze mount -LED interior lighting -Attic by Blue Ridge Overland -Weathertech Floor mats -Tacoma red dash inlay CAMP GEAR -Tembo Tusk skottle -Front Runner wolf packs (2) -Ruger 10/22 breakdown rifle -Waterport pressurized water system -Yeti Panga 28 backpack w/dry sidekick -Yeti Panga 50 duffel bag -Yeti Roadie 20 cooler -Rtic 65 cooler -Fiskars chopping axe and hatchet -Hyke and Byke down sleeping bag -10x10 Coleman easy up -Coleman two burner stove FUTURE MODS: -GFC Camper #184 (mid February-March) -CBI Rear bumper w/tire swingout -Bed drawer system -Bed lighting system -Wilco Offroad spare tire bedrail mount
    Mr. Norris doesn't use condoms. There is no protection against Chuck Norris.
     
    the_tacocamper, Aug 20, 2018
    #3
    jeff b, 9TRDTCO, I married my tacoma and 4 others like this.
  4. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:36 PM
    #4
    chiefcrunchy

    #4
    chiefcrunchy Well-Known Member

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    Brian
    Between North and South Virginia
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    5100s, 885s, deaver AAL, Waiting impatiently to install Demello front bumper, Mobtown sliders & skids, and safari snorkel.
    Did you know Chuck Norris was in Star Wars?


    He was the Force!:rofl::thumbsup:
     
    chiefcrunchy, Aug 20, 2018
    #4
    PvilleJohn, Jeremy4x4, I married my tacoma and 6 others like this.
  5. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:37 PM
    #5
    Lawfarin

    #5
    Lawfarin Who me?

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    Beetle Juice
    NY
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    Chuck Norris once decided to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this as Red Bull.
     
    Lawfarin, Aug 20, 2018
    #5
    I married my tacoma, Kilokato, Dkurtz42 and 6 others like this.
  6. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:47 PM
    #6
    PvilleJohn

    #6
    PvilleJohn SVT Raptor

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    Powdersville SC
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    Chuck Norris can cut a knife with hot butter.

    Chuck Norris built the hospital that he was born in.

    Chuck Norris can speak Braille

    Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

    Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
    PvilleJohn, Aug 20, 2018
    #6
    apocataco2015, BingoBangoPickoMango, cshrum and 18 others like this.
  7. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:48 PM
    #7
    Lawfarin

    #7
    Lawfarin Who me?

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    NY
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    They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
     
    Lawfarin, Aug 20, 2018
    #7
    BingoBangoPickoMango, FFBlack, Tacoma Mike and 11 others like this.
  8. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:52 PM
    #8
    daddy_o

    #8
    daddy_o Well-Known Member

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    Bossier City, La
    Vehicle:
    2018 TRD Sport, Inferno, w/tech package
    Factory Blackout package, Soft roll up bed cover, Cheap seat covers, Front and rear dash cam, AVS in channel vent visors
    Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
     
    daddy_o, Aug 20, 2018
    #8
    2016trdtacoma, Tacotj, MartinDWhite and 17 others like this.
  9. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:52 PM
    #9
    PvilleJohn

    #9
    PvilleJohn SVT Raptor

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    Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong phone number, you pick up the wrong phone.

    :rofl:

    I could read these all night. Haha
     
    PvilleJohn, Aug 20, 2018
    #9
    2016trdtacoma, WoodsGhost, gunn_runner and 12 others like this.
  10. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:52 PM
    #10
    Lawfarin

    #10
    Lawfarin Who me?

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    NY
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    Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
     
    Lawfarin, Aug 20, 2018
    #10
    FFBlack, I married my tacoma, Kilokato and 6 others like this.
  11. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:56 PM
    #11
    koditten

    #11
    koditten Well-Known Member

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    Kirk
    Central Michigan
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    04 trd x-cab 4 x 4 3.4l
    Reserected from the dead.
    CN starts fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together...
     
    koditten, Aug 20, 2018
    #11
    MartinDWhite, QMEDJoe and PvilleJohn like this.
  12. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:57 PM
    #12
    Black Stallion

    #12
    Black Stallion over-worked & under-paid

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    Paul
    Western Washington
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    No mechanical mods. Minor convience and useability tweaks.
    Chuck Norris was born on May 6,1945.
    Nazi Germany surrendered on May 7, 1945.
     
    Black Stallion, Aug 20, 2018
    #12
    pltommyo, Tora, Dkurtz42 and 4 others like this.
  13. Aug 20, 2018 at 6:57 PM
    #13
    ChainsawCharlie

    #13
    ChainsawCharlie Well-Known Member

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    Sean
    New Hamster
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    3 Cans of Plasti Dip, Rain-X 2 in 1 all season wiper fluid, "SAWDUST IS MAN GLITTER" sticker, Mobtown rear bumper, Pioneer AVH 2440NEX
    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
     
    ChainsawCharlie, Aug 20, 2018
    #13
    nevadabugle, Dkurtz42, scottalot and 2 others like this.
  14. Aug 20, 2018 at 7:20 PM
    #14
    SMBHooker

    #14
    SMBHooker [OP] Mag Beast

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    Awesome! :rofl:
     
    SMBHooker, Aug 20, 2018
    #14
  15. Aug 20, 2018 at 7:22 PM
    #15
    SMBHooker

    #15
    SMBHooker [OP] Mag Beast

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    2017 DCLB 4x4 TRD Sport MGM
    Seriously :popcorn:
     
    SMBHooker, Aug 20, 2018
    #15
    PvilleJohn[QUOTED] likes this.
  16. Aug 20, 2018 at 7:23 PM
    #16
    koditten

    #16
    koditten Well-Known Member

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    Kirk
    Central Michigan
    Vehicle:
    04 trd x-cab 4 x 4 3.4l
    Reserected from the dead.
    CN doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.
     
    koditten, Aug 20, 2018
    #16
    Tora and Jeremy4x4 like this.
  17. Aug 20, 2018 at 7:27 PM
    #17
    Trident904

    #17
    Trident904 Touching Drum Sets

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    Brian
    Treasure Coast, Florida
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    Modded it so much it turned into a 4Runner
    Your first “fact” is incorrect, sir. Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condom and still knocks up any woman he penetrates because his sperm roundhouse kicks it’s way through the rattlesnake.
     
    Trident904, Aug 20, 2018
    #17
    lynyrd3 likes this.
  18. Aug 20, 2018 at 7:28 PM
    #18
    tcjacado

    #18
    tcjacado Well-Known Member

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    If it's as tough as Chuck, then why is Toyota denying warranty claims. Fuck you toyota!
     
    tcjacado, Aug 20, 2018
    #18
    bigbarlo, Jeremy4x4, scottalot and 1 other person like this.
  19. Aug 20, 2018 at 7:29 PM
    #19
    daddy_o

    #19
    daddy_o Well-Known Member

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    Bossier City, La
    Vehicle:
    2018 TRD Sport, Inferno, w/tech package
    Factory Blackout package, Soft roll up bed cover, Cheap seat covers, Front and rear dash cam, AVS in channel vent visors
    Chuck Norris got pulled over for speeding. The cop was released with just a warning.
     
    daddy_o, Aug 20, 2018
    #19
    alwaysHI, 2ayne, Steves104x4 and 4 others like this.
  20. Aug 20, 2018 at 7:32 PM
    #20
    AlexB

    #20
    AlexB Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice!
     
    AlexB, Aug 20, 2018
    #20
    alwaysHI, Dkurtz42, Admiral_Akbar and 1 other person like this.
Page 1 of 6

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