Had to take Grandpa to the ER. Looking for advice.

So Sunday evening, I had to take my grandfather to the ER. He was struggling to breath and said it was EXTREMELY painful to breath. I got him into the truck and zoomed over to the hospital as fast as I could safely. I had forgotten to get gas before after work... so I am just begging the truck to solider on. (Which she did... thankfully).

We get there, my buddy who lives with us (we consider him family) helps me get grandpa out and as we are helping him mom runs up (No idea how the hell she got there so fast). We get grandpa inside and yell for help because we didn't see anyone. Finally someone comes out and grabs a wheel chair. They take him back and then...we wait. They end up getting him put into a CT and by then since he was stable and the rest of the family was there I went home to drop off my buddy and tend to grandma. She cannot really ride in a car anymore and being at the hospital would make her too anxious and could make her pass out.

So, finally around 8AM I get a call from the mother unit who says grandpa has a blood clot in his lung but they are treating it. His sisters have both had these issues and it just pops up with zero warning. THANKFULLY I got him there quick enough that apparently he has no damage to his mind or heart. At least he seems alright.

So I struggled through work today, calling every hour to check how he was doing. Thankfully they got to a point where he was doing very well so I was able to relax a little bit. So after work I head right over to the hospital he was moved to to see him and to make sure everyone was ok. My uncle and I help grandpa get moved to another room and with other things he needed. We talked for a bit, hugged, mom left and I wanted for her to return. She got back and so I hugged grandpa and told him to call me if he needs anything.

Sitting at home now, about 11PM. I just don't know what to think. I am trying to come to grips with the fact that as I get older these things are going to happen.

Just looking for advice, if anyone has or is going through this kind of situation.
Also just trying to vent.

 

Not exact same situation as you but both my grandfathers aren’t in the best health either. My grandfather I see most is in final stage of Alzheimer’s, on my most recent visit, he had a major seizure and was clamping on his on tongue with blood flowing from his mouth. Most people have no idea or will experience the things I’ve seen in person, but seeing my grandfather go through such a situation made me feel helpless. Luckily firefighters got there quick and took him to the hospital. Some say getting old sucks, I say it’s earned. The world is full of unfortunate situations in which countless people don’t ever get the chance to even feel old. We play the cards we’re dealt and give thanks for what we have. In this case, he has a loving grandson like you who cares as much as you do. Just take things one day at a time and enjoy every moment you have with him. I wish my grandfather can remember the memories we have, but it’s okay, we remember it for him. So when he needs help, he’ll appreciate you being there more then you’ll ever know.

There’s nothing wrong with venting, talking things out is healthy for the mind. Keep up the good work.

 

Regardless of the outcome - Talk with him as much as you can. If there is anything you want to say, say it now while he hears you, knows you and understands what you mean - ignore everyone else in the room.

"Too late" comes too quickly - Don't ask how I know, just trust me on this one...

I try not to regret things but I'd like 1 or 2 "do overs"...

 

Man, I've been so thankful that Alzheimer's doesn't seem to be common in my family. I'm sorry you have to experience that.
Thank you for your comment though, it really helps.

I know what you mean, I didn't go to the hospital when my boss was in there a few months ago. One sunday I just felt like I should have gone, but I didn't want to disturb his family... wasn't sure. That monday morning, I came in and..found out he passed sunday night.

After that I told myself never again, if I get that "feeling", I am going. Thankfully our new temporary boss (used to be the CFO of our sister company) completely understands and told me I can fly out the door anytime I need if something happens.
So far things are looking ok, but the minute things change I am flying over there ASAP.

I keep telling them, as soon as he is out and better I am going to take him out for a great lunch and give him something to look forward to after eating the lack luster hospital food.

Thank you both.

 

Wow man. I’ll definitely send a prayer your way. Like @Sprocket said, make the most of your conversations and time. Even if he heals up and has another 15-20 years, you won’t regret it.

 

Record some of his stories on your phone. Audio or video. Now that my dad is gone that's all I have left. But I can still listen to his thick New York accent as he tells me all the stories he used to love recounting. Working on the Apollo project, rioting against the Vietnam war, I bet your grandfather has been through a lot of history as well and has his own stories that would be worth saving. If not for you, for your kids as well.

 

Oh wow that's a really good idea. Maybe like a interview of sorts almost haha

And just so everyone here is aware, today grandpa is doing much better and the doctor is very certain that he will be fine as long as he takes it easy and does not have any Falls or anyting. I spoke to him on the phone this morning and he sounds much better. I really appreciate everyone's words and prayers.

My new house project now is to build a ramp in the garage to make it easier for him to go from the garage level to the floor level. he's never had mobility issues but I just want to make sure that there's no chance for him to fall or something.
Maybe even get him one of those Ironwood walking sticks.

 

It's not easy getting older. I'm of the age my friends are starting to pass. Lost two last year. Cherish the moments is all I can suggest.

 

I feel your pain, and trust me, it doesn't really get any easier. You learn to recognize the small things and dismiss them, while the big things hit you harder.

I've always been very close with my own grandfather and have been dealing with a steady decline (cancer, dementia, heart problems) for 5 years. The only useful advise that I can give is to spend time with him and cherish those moments.

If I had to pick my top 5 biggest regrets in life: Getting too busy with life (college, starting my career, chasing women, picking up OT) to meet him for breakfast, spend an afternoon at a museum, or just sit around and shoot the shit while watching baseball would easily make that list.

 

It's been strange, these past 10 years for me have been a decline. Like for ME, not him. He's never had any issues. I struggle to keep up with him sometimes so it's kind of the same situation you mentioned but in reverse. I am hoping to get my issues solved this year at least so I can have the ability to do more things with him.

 

Sounds like they found the clot on the CT, gave him some heparin via IV at the hospital, and are keeping him there for a few days to monitor him and get his blood levels situated with blood thinners. He'll be on warfarin, Coumadin, or similar for a while if not forever depending if they can find out where the clot formed. Pulmonary blood clots are extremely dangerous so count your blessings. (And next time call the damn squad to transport him as driving him could have turned out very bad).

I had a renal infarction 10 years ago and went through a similar situation. They found I had a patent foramen ovale which was cured with an implant. Luckily after 6 months I was taken off the blood thinners.

Good luck and sounds like all is going to turn out ok for him

 

Well the last time we called the squad, they took 30 minutes to arrive. I got him from the house to the hospital in about 15 minutes. Although next time we are going to a different hospital, I really didn't like the current one...
His sisters all have had DVT's but there is no reason other than "hereditary" according to all the doctors they have collectively seen. They found the clot in his leg with a 2nd CT and I guess they injected medication into it or something.

He is being released today. So I am looking forward to heading home after work!

 

That's great news! Must be one step closer to some relief.

 

Absolutely. I'd just ask my dad questions and laugh with him as he talked. Most old folks have so much to say once you get them started all you gotta do is listen and ask them questions to guide them along. And some of my favorites are pocket recordings of us just sitting and talking out on the porch about nothing in particular.

In any case, I'm glad he's ok. But don't wait, there is only so much time for each of us, and we don't know how many grains are in our hourglasses.