Grab a drink and enjoy the dumpster fire flames!!

Bill burr is easily the most relatable comic I’ve ever listened to. It’s could be about pit bulls, murder, Girlfriends, or rhinana and Chris brown...everything he says is both hilarious and true IMO.

 

Dating a detective, I've heard some good ones lately. This one takes the cake though:

1. Guy gets drunk up a narrow canyon road, drives impaired, goes off massive cliff.

2. Guy stuck in traffic in the canyon because of guy #1 ^ decides that in traffic is the best place to "inspect his gun and bullets"...yeah. after inspecting said bullets, reloads his pistol, which jams cuz its a POS, so he holds it out the window to clear it...again in traffic. "Man with a gun" calls come in obviously... pulled out of vehicle at gunpoint at the mouth of the canyon, "all just a misunderstanding, blah, blah, blah" dude was obviously dirty, but nothing to hold him on.

 

Hell yeah, hes my favorite... now that Luis CK jerked it infront of someone and got metooed

 

His pitbull story is amazing. I forgot about that one.

And you're right. Super relatable. I walked past a pumpkin at the store the other day, and his "gay stuff" skit popped in my head. Convinced the gf she needed to carve a pumpkin...it all worked out.

 

"What er yoo a f!#*&?" Lol best line ever

 

This is news to me. Though to be honest, his material was hit or miss to me, and always seemed a little...off

 

Hobo fights historically have been morally wrong. I feel that if I were at the helm of hobo fighting videos, I could make it ethically sound. Take the fighting part out, for starters. Assign me a different hobo every episode as a sidekick. I won’t ask the hobo to do anything I wouldn’t do, and ideally the hobo and I would be side by side. Bomb a hill. Skate an above ground pool. Bug eating contest. See how many girls you can make out with in one day. Troll apex predators in the wild. Harness the power of the earth core and sell it online.

 

I liked him back in the day. Back when he wasn't in the spotlight and was funnier

 

Hahaha yes

 

I also love his bit about being asked if he wanted a cookie

 

So funny, I forgot about the pumpkin/gaylord thing, and I ended up buying a pumpkin on a solo grocery trip, to make my gf happy. The whole time I was in line I was awkward because all I had was a pumpkin, and I’m an adult male. Nothing about that should be weird, but it was, and yeah. The walk to my truck with a giant unbagged pumpkin felt like an eternity.

 

Look at the edit on my original post on the "what er y....

And take the hint

 

Let my subscription lapse a few years back.. What ever became of the e magazine??

 

I fell out of a helicopter once. Nothing crazy, but my fucking left knee EXPLODED. No bones broke (I’ve never broken a bone, I feel like at this point my bones are unbreakable) but all my ligaments took a shit. They rebuilt me well, but my left leg is still slightly smaller than my right. The plus side was industrial sized painkiller portions and my physical therapist was hot as fuck. I mean, the painkillers were in like a vitamin bottle sized bottle.

 

Right over my head

 

The editor committed suicide at a Japanese Burger King, details are still hazy.

 

I started a fire by using that "word" in our current social climate... so I edited it... dont wanna get anyone in trouble... that help?

I also edited your quote

 

Fify

 

Yeah I thought maybe that’s what you meant. But I’m paraphrasing content of a comics routine, so I figured it would be ok, because bill burr is making fun of people who use that word. Also it looks like you just added some a’s. It’s basically the same word. You can t just add letters and make a bad word ok

Plus I’ll state for the record a persons sexual orientation is meaningless to me.