Whatever

When I was in the Corps I was on the 31st MEU. We spent three days in Darwin Au. The first day we did some shopping and drinking, everything went pretty smooth. I was a LCpl so the non NCO's had to be back at the ship each night no later than 0200. The 2nd day was filled with sight seeing and drinking and meeting local chicks. We all found a girl and decided to hit the club. I had a Sgt who was pretty cool and he and his other Sgt buddy had gotten a room as they were permitted to be out all night. Things were going well at the club and a couple of us needed a place to go hookup with our Au ladies before heading back to the ship. Our Sgt gave us his room key and told us to leave it at the desk when we were done. By this time we were a little drunk and found a sex shop within a block of leaving the club. We headed in there, our girls split so we decided to buy several hideous inflatable ummm love partners and several hundred condoms and a bottle of lotion. We headed back to the Sgt's room where we inflated the dolls to include a pig and a donkey. Tucked them into the bed, we filled all the condoms with a pump or two of lotion and threw them everywhere. We them tucked the dolls into bed and polity gave the key to the front desk. Somewhere around 0400 here comes our Sgt and his buddy who was a Sgt (David Justice was his deployed name when out on Libo) back at the ship. They were trashed and we asked them why they were back. They said they went back to there room with some ladies and found our gift. Of course the ladies ran when they saw the room, apparently our Sgt's decided to use the inflatable partners we had left for them as flotation devices in the hotel pool and when they refused to remove them and themselves they were kicked out and thus returned to the ship. Our Sgt's were good sports and let it go as a good prank.

The next day a buddy and I headed out, spent the whole day drinking and buying t-shirts from the random bars. I was 160lbs and he was a good ol boy from TN who was a solid 210lbs and had me by about five inches in height. At one of the last bars my homie throws up on the bar so I was like okay bro we need to go. We leave, we are walking down the sidewalk headed back to the ship. I am drunk, he is drunk and stumbling and he decides he has been robbed because he had spent all his money and I had left the shirts behind. He was going back to the bar where I knew he was going to get his ass beat so I tried to stop him. Long story short I got my ass whipped. I had two swollen black eyes, like swelling shut and he had broken his hand on my face. We got back to the ship where our Plt Sgt was sitting in the berthing area waiting for someone to walk in having pulled some shit and we fell right into that category for sure. I saw him and turned the corner and all I heard was "STOP!" I did, my Plt Sgt inquired as to what had happened, I told him we were jumped and my buddy Chris had won the fight where I did not fair so well. Out of nowhere my buddy (Chris) chimed in holding his broken hand and said "tell the truth, I beat up my best friend" I was like FUCK! Anyway, lets just day the next couple of weeks on ship where fun. We would be standing in line for chow and someone would say "damn dude, wtf happened to you" I would just point at Chris who was standing behind me with his hand in a cast and say "he whipped my ass".

Same guy (Chris) when we were boots in the Marine Corps together. We had field day every Friday night where you had to clean your rooms. This was not like hey dust your room. This was like remove all the god damn furniture and make it spotless type of shit. Anyway we would turn up the stereos and get pretty tore up during this process as we were not released on liberty until we had all passed and well one does not simply pass until around noon on Sat. Anyway I am standing on the cat walk smoking a cigarette when Chris walks up smoking a swisher sweet. He is drunk, looks at me and says "if you put that cigarette out on your shoulder I will put this cigar out on the tip of my dick". Without saying a word I took a drag and ground that cigarette out on my shoulder. To this day I have a small scar but to this day Chris has no feeling in the tip of his dick!

 

1. I greatly appreciate your service.
2. Chris and drunk Darren from your previous story should get together.
3. Great story.

 

LOL, that would be an epic night. Thanks guys. I have been a part of some pretty stupid shit over the years. Glad you all get some entertainment out of it. I will try and post a few more tomorrow.

 

Added a pic at the bottom of the last post of what I looked like after that Au trip! LOL... I heal fast.

 

Ouch
You oughta see the other guys fist.

 

LOL, yeah pretty much! That was a good one!

 

I wish the mods would provide a link when someone gets the hammer. I'm a nosy bastard.

 

Okay, I said I wasn't gonna, but what the Hell?
Here's a story, and to the best of my recollection true.
I'll try to spare you irrelevant details.

THE WEDDING PARTY

The year: 1979.
The place: Woodstock, Virginia.
Small town, and smaller back then. A couple stoplights, as I recall.

So a buddy was getting married and I'm invited.
I arrive about 6 PM on Friday for the bachelor party at the motel.
I had the feeling right away it was gonna be an eventful evening.

Not long after dark someone gets the bright idea to crash the bridesmaids' party.
At least a dozen of us pile into an old beater station wagon.
The guy driving was supposed to know where we're going.
We got lost.

Oh look! there's a phone booth! Let's call and get directions!
It's on the outskirts of town next to some railroad tracks.
Everybody is wasted. Me too. We all get out.

What happened next?
A bunch of stuff, and it seemed to me, pretty much all at once.

One guy tries to call, gets frustrated, and destroys the phone.
Another guy walks into a mailbox and knocks it over.
He picks it up, post and all, and walks around asking what he should do with it.
And right then, a freight train goes by. A long one.
So the bottles fly at this lovely moving target. And there were a lot of bottles in that car.

And right then the cops show up.
The town's entire police force. Two guys in two cruisers.
I'm sitting on the hood of the station wagon, shaking my head and watching the show.

What I remember while the cops tried to sort things out:

The guy with the mailbox asking repeatedly what he should do with it.
Another guy asking can he please take a piss cuz, ya know, he just can't hold it any more.
Another guy telling the cops that if he had his PF Flyers on, he'd be on down the road and they'd never catch him.

So the cops are making progress.
They find out that this is a wedding party. Wedding is tomorrow.
Who and where is the groom? Passed out in back, says I.
What's his name and who is the bride? I tell him.
Uh-oh, the Mayor's daughter. I kid you not.

So the cops pick me as the least intoxicated and tell me we're getting a police escort back to the motel.
And I'm driving. Oh great. Somehow I make it, one cop car in front, one behind.

"Okay boys, nobody leaves here tonight. Nobody, get it?
And just to be certain, I'm spending my shift right here in the parking lot to make sure you don't."

-----------

But wait! There's more!

In the late morning we scrape ourselves off the floor, shower, and get dressed.
We go to a local diner for breakfast and boy did we get some looks. And snickers.
I have an idea most of the town knew already that something was up.

We make it to the Episcopal Church in plenty of time.
Oh great, it just had to be an Episcopal Church. They're gonna be just scandalized! Ha.
The groom and another guy go right to the rest room.
The groom throws up (I heard him) and the other guy takes a crap.
The groom bolts and tells me don't go in there, you'll die.
Well, I gotta take a leak and go in. He wasn't exaggerating much.
I hold my breath and as soon as I'm done, I bolt myself.
Yeah, there was a mess, not to mention the highly potent lingering stink.
I'm sure that endeared us to the Church members.

So we made it through the service feeling like death warmed over.
And the deed was done.

The moral?

If you're gonna have a bachelor party like that, it helps that you're in a small town.
And that the bride is the mayor's daughter.
For staying out of jail, I mean.

Oh, and those were different times.
I have an idea if we pulled that stuff today, we would have been in the slammer for sure.
Oh, for the good old days!

Who Knows? Maybe one of my long lost buddies is a member here and reads this.
Wouldn't that be something?

And they lived happily ever after.

THE END

 

https://www.tacomaworld.com/threads/max-powell.597875/

 

Great story! And for some reason it all makes perfect sense.
I loved those big cars back then. You could really cram the people in them. I use to have a Scout and I once took 13 people and a keg out of town for a party.
Thanks!

 

Thanks.
No comment.

 

I can usually find it pretty quick, usually i am involved in the thread.

 

I've noticed

 

Cant seem stay out of a shit show

 

Beats tv

 

I laugh a lot more here.

 

@SRH Since your here, are you going to remove your b pillar vinyl? You have a cement too, you go first.

 

Why do you want her to do it first?

 

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