The human centipede giveaway

ALWAYS!

 

I have a Cane Corso.....

 

Is it squeamish?

 

Nah.... But nothing goes in his butt.... Which I wouldn't do anyways..... But he can wander around in a strap on for a bit

 

That will be a surprise for some dog at the dog park!

 

Btw- just in case you haven’t read very many of my posts; DON’T actually do it ya sicko!

 

My dog would probably bite me....I wouldn't do that lol. A 145 lbs dog butting does NOT doing fun.... At all

 

New is definitely OK. As long as it adds up to $20 or more. Its the thought that counts. What if my XXXXL (insert, literally any toy of your choice here) is too big for your XS needs? I would be insensitive to send you mine, but if I think you would enjoy it, I would get one appropriately sized for your individual needs.

 

Its simple, we are involved in a gift exchange. Put $20, or more, of stuff in a box and ship it to the next person on the list. Leading up to that moment, relentlessly taunt everyone on this thread, making a point to over sexualize and fetichize the contents of your box. Hyperbole is welcome. When you receive your box, make a photo shoot of the experience, dramatize the opening, and post the pics on this thread.

In secret, once you know who you are sending your box to (once the final list is posted), make a point to PM them, get to know them, and send something genuinely nice that they would find useful. But dont tell anyone on the thread you did this. Adamantly insist the box is filled with dick-eating tarantulas that you have spent the last year tirelessly training (clearly worth $20).

 

XXXXL is NEVER too big. If it is, you’re not working hard enough. It’s not worth the effort if it doesn’t hurt to the point of crying out to Jesus for mercy.

 

So.... What your saying is I CAN'T send the tarantulas???

 

How did you know what I named my baseball bat?

 

Because you call it out every time you collapse on my chest crying.

 

Nope, not what I said. 100% send the tarantulas. Every last one. I like them with cute bows tied around their abdomens and mirror-polished fangs... the same way I like most things in life.

 

Is there something I can insert here to indicate an awkward pause? And ....... there it is. Remember the deal, I wont tell your wife, if you don't tell mine.

 

Well hell. I was planning to send whoever I get paired with a nasty, disease ridden, puss filled, strung out crack whore. But unfortunately that's not going to be possible.

My ex refused to get in the box....

 

Thank goodness, you keep that shit in your own BY

 

Says more about you than her. Would you like me to include some penicillin in your box? Perhaps something stronger, like a IV-drip of vancomycin?

 

As a side note. I really enjoy this thread.