Wife's first deployment since being a mother.

I was active Corps, Air Guard now, the wife is Active AF. It's definitely not easy, especially since she's in GA and I'm in Cali for work.
She's pregnant now and stuff like this always goes through my mind.
I did 7 years active with 2 deployments to Afghan, so I'm numb to this type of stuff.
I'm worried how she will take her first deployment though.
Like I've been telling her though, it's part of being in the military .
Just gotta keep on keeping on

 

Yeah man, been there, done that. Went through it both ways. I'm out now but my wife still has two years left. Now we are dealing with our own childrens deployments. My son just got back from Afghanistan last week. I could have been in country during the same time, but I definitely didn't want my wife at home by herself.

What was tough was the readjustment to family life on the back end. The little things. You get used to doing things a certain way when you're the only parent, and then have to adjust to having two parents sharing in the parenting. Sounds simple, but it can be tough and stressful for a bit.

I'm not sure how to say this without sounding like a dick, but now that our kids are grown, my wife deploying for a short tour is almost like a mini vacation for me. I have the house to my self and can basically do whatever I want for that time. I miss her greatly and count the days until she gets back, but still, I don't mind the bachelor time.

I'm sure you will both do fine. Parenting is tough. Specially if done right. With grown kids I look back and wish I had not missed as much as I did. I always enjoyed the home life part of it though. Getting to braid my daughters hair before school every day. Cooking them breakfast and supper. I loved it. I'm picking up my son at the airport later today and getting a few weeks with him to see how he is after his deployment. I plan to ride motorcycles with him every day and go shoot guns and take the dogs to the river etc. Can't wait. Military life is hard on everyone, but I guess if you do it right your kids will continue it, whether you want them to or not.

Also, reserve life can be harder than active. My wife and I have done both. While on active duty, we had more resources and a lifestyle that made time apart easier. Reserve life doesn't have the support and you usually have more commitments and less understanding. If you need to vent, this is a great place to do it as many have been through it before and know how tough it can be. Again, though, the fact it worries you makes me think you and your wife will be fine.

 

I don't know if this is
still relevant, it's an older post.

being married while deployed is just being married.

that being said, don't forget to do stuff like have dates. internet connections make it easy to talk and see each other, but it can also add stress if your deployed spouse is aware of the stressors you're experiencing back home. that means back home you have to handle problems so she doesn't have to worry.

ideas to help stay connected:

write letters. girls like letters. pour your heart out on paper and hit it with some of that cologne she likes. she'll save it in a box somewhere forever. emails aren't personal, you can't hold it in your hand, and they're delivered via machine. a letter? your hand hit that paper and she knows it. she'll remember it.

dates. do them. go on one. send her a care package with something you can both share. and here's the strongest part of it, have her set the date and time, complete with time change. it could be 3 am, but you'd better show. otherwise it doesn't mean as much

and then you can both sit down and watch that cheesy romantic comedy you both like. and bonus if you can wrangle skype at the same time. snacks or a simple just-add-hot-water dinner are additional ideas. stuff you know she likes will really win here, the more familiar the better

hand made stuff is best, it shows you put in work and set aside time to get it done. it's all about showing that you've still got them on your mind

but if something new pops up, don't be afraid to add that too. I once remarked that I love how I could see all the stars where I was. the next thing I know, she's sending me every sky and telescope magazine she can lay her hands on. i know all about the stars now, and just thinking about that makes me think of her

just show her you're thinking about her