Whatever

And what a vegan thing to say

 

I knew you were a convict!!

 

What's with the tractor tire? You have a tractor er nah?

 

I spent a day in jail one time...

When I was 12

 

Lol wow

 

This sock bothers me so much.... Can we just throw it away pretty please? I mean you've probably got like 9 more in the pack those came in.

Gotta keep up that farmers tan like his dad

 

I knew it!!

 

and and

 

This needed to be said^^^

 

Been doing Okay Thanks

 

Hmm... that's tough still 90% fabric remaining lol

 

If that was a shirt your boob would be hanging out. Throw it away or at least sew it up.

 

Wow that's some funny shot right there

 

@MarX

Do you mind wearing it as a shirt and taking a picture so that we can prove this? For research.

 

I use it to flip for workouts when I can't hit the gym and do my normal routine:

 

Ok.

So, its been a few days since I've been on....mainly because the kids have been sick and I was down as well for a couple of days.

BUT.

My last day at the gym (regrettably) was leg day.

I fully expected to be unable to do things normally, as I've always had strong legs, quads, hammies and calves...so I actually pushed myself pretty hard on leg day and threw up.

The day after came and went with no noticeable soreness. Most people would be enthused. I was not. I knew that this meant the soreness was gonna be bad, and hit me like 2 or 3 days after. When I say bad, I mean like, not able to walk.

Day Two: I wake up, a bit groggy. Sit up in bed and toss my feet down into my slippers and start to head to the shower. As I get in the steamy shower, I notice my back is tight. My chest is tight and as I reached for the shampoo, I couldn't straighten my arm. Shocking pain in my biceps. Hmm. Thats odd, its been 3 or 4 days since I did upper body. Made not that my legs felt good though. A tad "weak" maybe. But no soreness.

Day Three: My alarm sounds, raising me from a near death sleep. My body was TIRED. I attempt to reach the alarm and everything in the right side of my body is pissed off at me. From the tips of my fingers up to my spine, everything is sore. Not just sore, though. Like, not functioning sore.

"Was it like this when I was younger? Did I just not notice it because I was invincible?"

I schlep to the shower and cant even turn it on. A few steps to the left and I meet myself in the mirror, half laughing, half crying. As I got lost in my buttery, soft brown eyes, my thoughts darted from, "you dumb fuck...you went too hard for your old ass in the gym. You arent 20 anymore" to "QUIT BEING A BITCH AND TURN THAT FUCKING SHOWER ON PUSSY!"

So I promptly went back to the shower and forced it on like I was lifting a burning car off of a couple of nuns. I could feel the veins in my forehead bulging and I shit myself a little bit. "Good thing you're getting in the shower, pussy..." I muttered to myself.

As the shower is warming up, I dropped my PJ pants, my legs still felt really good. I swear I over-did it on legs. Swear. I could barely walk to Freddie when I was done. "Shit....I hope it doesn't hit me half way through the day..." As I go to strip off my t-shirt, I realized I couldnt get my arms over my head. Completely locked up biceps, triceps and shoulders. My arms and torso is basically paralyzed.

"Emily, can you come help me?" I yelled. As she walked into the bathroom, I'm pretty sure I could hear what shred of respect she had for me laughing and packing it's bags. "Can you please take my shirt off?" I asked, with puppy dog eyes.

As I stood in the shower, soaking in hot water I thought it would be best to let the hot water loosen up my muscles. Still baffled as to why my legs felt so good but all of a sudden my upper body was just failing.

Day 4: If my legs hurt today...I'm not going to be able to get out of bed. However, my niece is getting dedicated today at church, and I have to be there. I start to get up out of bed and my pecs (ok, they are kind of titties right now...but I'm holding on to a shred of dignity here) are twitching and spasm-ing. HOWEVER, I'm not sore. I feel good. I feel stronger. This is gooooooood.

I hop in the shower, everything is fine. I'm out of the suck. I've made it out without my legs getting sore! I couldnt function if my whole body was that sore.

We get to church and about halfway through the sermon and after the dedication I went to adjust how I was sitting. "Oof, that butt cheek kinda hurts." I think to myself. "Must have been the way I was sitting."

As the sermon ends and its time to sing a few songs and leave, I cant move my legs. I had them crossed at the ankle and tucked under the seat. They wont budge. I pull my feet out from under the seat and the pain simply encompassed all of my being. My wife is looking at me like I'm some sort of anti-christ for not standing. My brother in law is laughing he knows EXACTLY whats going on. I look up at my wife and tell her in my best Forrest Gump impression that "I aint got no legs".

The entire row starts laughing uncontrollably.

So. Getting wheeled out in a wheelchair from church today was not fun. Walking into the house after a 45 minute ride home was it's own fucking event. I sit here now, in my recliner rotating heat, ice and ibuprofin and Aleve every two hours just to be able to move.


My great-grandmother said it best, I believe. "Getting old aint for pussies."