Whatever

Not too shabby. Low pay right now. Could be worse.

 

No prob Bob.

 

Glad you're still there, I was wondering about you.

 

What you're doing. It's good. Keep doing that

 

They said "Just say no to drugs"
I thought "If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes".

 

Like when they say "get a taste of your own medicine"
"Obviously i know what it tastes like, it's my medicine."

 

Cop knocked on my door.
"We got a report that your dog was chasing a kid on a bicycle"
I said "Couldn't have been my dog officer. He doesn't have a bicycle"

 

But does he have a chase?!

 

Not anymore. He traded it for a Coleman lantern.

 

At least he’s seen the light!

 

Got called into the manager's office today for mistreating a customer by hitting them in the face. I informed him that there was no way I would have mistreated him as after showing symptoms and testing positive for being an asshole, therefore I administered a swift treatment of a hit to the affected area.

 

Some nice Afghani at 20% tonight.
You?

 

S'mores at 24

 

Dave! You are definitely living up to legend sir. Really happy you’re here!