The human centipede giveaway

This is TW. @In&out was just following the rules. Which is, you ask for the information to be spoon fed, don’t search, ever!

 

Alrighty, @VirusCage , your package arrived today.

I'm not taking any chances. First, sterilization against wasps:



Next, we open. Box was actually smoldering, so I had to quickly retrieve items before they got damaged.


Some T-shirts, they smell faintly of smoke.



Mangos. Hold up, these need to go to the lab for further analysis. Acid solubility results: mangos are indeed soluble in hydrochloric acid. check. Spectroscopy shows carbon, with traces of calcium, magnesium, and potassium. Check. Scanning electron microscopy shows...

Coal ash with fossils and slight traces of asbestos. Fuck it, close enough, its still edible. Moving on.




Aww fuck yeah. Nothing says lab hippie like fucking oatmeal gloves. I really appreciate the plastic tool kit. My dashboard thanks you. No more screwdriver gouge marks!



Mystery box, Portable (travel) step-child beating device, and anal bead cozies. How thoughtful. Like inception, we must go deeper.


Sawheet! Cubbie lock set, Led bulbs, and a single ear plug. One single, lightly used, ear plug. Thats fuckin funny right there.



Stickers! The girlfriend got super jelly over the stickers. She cant have em. Theys mine.


Some of the stickers already got placed in my creepy, half flooded bomb shelter. As soon as I can pump it empty enough to remove the live electric wire, I might place some more.


A couple of stickers got placed on the boom box.






Fantastic Haul. Thanks @VirusCage !

 

All good. It was by choice to stop drinking haha.

 

Gimme dem mangos. That's the food of my peoples.

 

Great opening! I plan on the fire route to... all things are purified by fire afterall.

 

On a serious note, doesnt happen alot in here, but round 3 is on the tail end. We normally wait a little bit before we start up another round. Hang out, talk shit, make off color remarks.

Like I'll start #metoowhatevertheflavorofthedayisblacktranslivesmatter

Too soon....?

 

#triggered

 

You insensitive son of a bitch. Get the fuck outta here. You don't talk about dogs like that.

 

Tell ya what fruitcup. I'll eat all the crayons and drag my ass across the tailgate of your truck and make ya a frickin rainbow bumper sticker. You still gotta read all the frickin posts, pass the test and submit the essay just like everyone else did!

 

I would listen to him

 

I’m gonna start sending regional foods and flavors. Shane sent me that seasoning and I think this is a theme that should be addressed often. I want to taste where y’all come from.

 

Plz explain

 

Oh dang I thought it was a regional marshmallow thing not a “dropped your smore in the sand, but mine survived” thing.

 

I like food.

I'll send someone a delicious tapenade spread for any sandwich or a traditional muffulatta. Finely pureed olives with hints of anchovies, you're guaranteed to be the life of next weeks book club get together. I kid you not when I tell you boys, tapenade will get you laid.

 

Yeah tapenade is a word I’ve heard girls use often, and one that I have never used. Makes sense.

 

Show me your boxes ladies

 

I haven’t sent mine out yet @BlackPearl because I’m a piece of shit who has been “too busy” to pay attention to the important things. This being the important things. I’m like a deadbeat dad. Shipping by this weekend. Maybe tomorrow.

soon he will see the spiders.

 

Black Rifle Coffee sucks...

 

Good catch! I had black rifle then added coffee for some that haven’t heard of it...

Still just on my first cup...

 

Also keep in mind that 80% of the time, I’m a dumbass every time.