Tacoma Dad Joke

I went to bed last night and had a dream I was a car with no muffler.
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I woke up exhausted.

Don't worry. I'll see myself out.

 

just saying ...

 

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?





A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.

 

What is the best way to get down off of an elephant?






You don't, down comes from geese.

 

Love these dad jokes.

Awesome!

 

A priest, a rabbi, and a lawyer walk into a bar.

The bartender looks over and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

 

What does a horny toad say?...........Rubbit

Why does a lead pencil stink?......it’s #2

 

From my 8 year old.....Harold has 47 pieces of cake. He eats 34. What does Harold have now?


Diabetes.

 

Couple 3rd graders cutting some stuff with scissors. One looks at the other and says, if I cut my finger off would you eat it.
The other promptly says NO.
“Why, cause I pick my nose”
“Well, that’s gross, but no, I’m not a cannibal.”

 

A toothless termite walks into a bar. He looks around and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

 

what do you call a dog with no legs?














it doesn't matter - he won't come anyway

 

What is brown and sticky?.........................A stick.

What's black and white and read all over?.............................a nun with a spear through her head.