Am I obligated?

In Iowa a deposit non-refundable and intention to buy, if the product is the agreed upon product. So in this case maybe the deposit can be refunded.

 

Without any signature on paperwork, I find it hard for that to be enforceable even in a state with such a law.

If paperwork is signed, then there is the intent to purchase and I get that.

 

+1 There’s no need to be a dick. Yes it sounds like this dealership forgot about you or somehow dropped the ball, it happens. At the end of the day it’s just business. Thank them for their time, don’t mention that they wasted yours and move-on to another dealership.