Dad jokes

did you hear about the old Indian chief named Falling Rock? He got lost during a hunt. They are still looking for him. They even have signs on the road saying "Watch for Falling Rock"

 

Have you ever heard of spontaneous human combustion?

I was at the grocery store the other day and my right arm just up and burst into flames!

The worst part was after I finally managed to get the fire put out the police came and hauled me straight off to jail.

Apparently around here it's against the law to have fire arms in the grocery store!

 

That’s not so much a dad joke but more like a dirty old man joke.



…or dirty old lady joke. Haha.

 

Well then….

 

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman all have in common?

Spoiler

="An idiot who didn’t pull it out in time. "]

 

Kept it in too long

 

Spoiler

 

The person who invented the umbrella was originally going to call it the "brella", but they hesitated.

 

Spoiler: Not a dad joke

 

Spoiler: One more …cuz why not

 

Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on thier ships?


So they can Scandinavian.

 

Dad: I was coming home from work today when an ambulance went around me, hit a bump, the back doors opened up and a box fell out. The ambukance kept going so I stopped and checked the box. (Silence)

Me: Ok, so what was in it?

Dad: A toe. (Silence again)

Me: (Ok, I'll bite) So what'd you do?

Dad: I called a tow truck.



Miss his dad jokes.

 

When you are talking to people who speak Spanish use the word "mucho" several times.

It really means a lot to them.

 

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer