Dad jokes

Yeah, cheesy joke.

 

Do dogs in Mexico speak Espaniel?

 

If you spin a person of Asian descent vigorously, do they become dis-Oriented?

 

I can take my coffee with sugar, Saccharine, Aspartame, Stevia, Sweet’n Low or Honey. You might say I am Ambidextrose.

 

Now that’s funny!!!!

 

Is it just me, or does it feel like 2020, 2021, and 2022 were written by Stephen King and directed by Quentin Tarantino with a soundtrack by Yoko Ono?

 

More like.....

 

Twilight Zone meets the Outer Limits.

 

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono her name would be Yoko Ono Bono.

 

If folk singer Alison Krauss's father had been Stevie Wonder and she married Polaroid Camera inventor Edwin Land she would be Alison Wonder Land.

 

And if ifs were fifths we’d all be drunk

 

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar. FML.

 

What did the fish say when he swam into the concrete wall? "Dam."

 

It takes a lot of guts to be an organ donor.

 

I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.

 

It's a 10 minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 40 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.

 

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

 

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.