Roast my Tacoma! (2nd gen edition)

I think you're a bit rusty bud that wasn't even enough to call you 10 ply

 

OK: I'll go: $20 >without< the hitch pin, and you torch out the entire hitch. The bumper is already gone: gravy. BTW: Where did you get my pic? It's a friendly offer. You're making me nervous.

 

Somehow that's perfect for Kanas City, or any other city. Nobody will park next to you or tailgate you and generally stay the hell out of your way.

 

Whatcha get on your driving test, you monster? How many walls, curbs, and septegenarians, and toddlers did you bang into on the way to McDonald’s today?

 

and now the running board that could has been replaced with real steel!



Also don't let welders tell you they work hard. I never seem to find them working, just lying around!

 

I have a truck!

 

You have a truck? Where? Is it hiding behind your purse that you just took a picture of? Is that a bed cap or a sun shade for your afternoon mimosa? Nice picture... What are you trying to hide? The shopping cart wheels stand out bud. Hope they gave you a discount for them at Costco

 

Well this is actually an older picture because I didn’t want to walk outside, and I have been debating the cap recently.

And it’s Sam’s Club for me Sir, not Costco.

 

And if they saw what you were driving, it would be car credit city membership.

 

This is what my dad had in mind when he saw 11 year old me day dreaming of the Lamborghini Countach body kit on a fiero in the car magazines.

 

Afternoon mimosa sounds nice

 

your right front tire is looking like drag slicks that are ribbed for the malls pleasure

 

you know it!

 

To me sir it looks like you wanted a truck but really needed an SUV. The color matched bed canopy tells a story no one could make up, however there are no mid-gates around here for you to crawl through to access your third row seats. Good lord the wheels, you give middle aged women the perfect ammunition to complain about us men: you told yourself you needed something that you didn’t need and your color matching skills are nonexistent.

 

You have a paperweight.

Those 90s subcompact rims are the reason the engine isn’t turning over. Only in Texas could you turn such mediocrity into total systems failure. Nice halfway house though.

 

Boy my wheels are not popular, I wonder if it would help if I plasti-dipped them black to blend in more.

 

Cool idea. I’d ask your mom first since it’s clear she’s still dressing you and packing your little apple slices and half-sandwich lunch in a paper bag before she uses that Tacoma to drop you off at school.

 

You could plastidip your Johnson and then no one would have to worry about you reproducing and passing on your bad decisions.

Not that that's a worry anyway, with you driving that mom taco whenever your chores and homework are finished