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Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by pinktaco808, Jun 30, 2020.

  1. May 18, 2022 at 8:41 AM
    #601
    StAndrew

    StAndrew Wait for it...

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    Chris
    Hampton Roads, Va
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    Intake, exhaust, lift. Typical stuff.
    What's the worst part about Friday?



    Realizing its still Wednesday.
     
  2. May 19, 2022 at 6:13 AM
    #602
    imjustabill1970

    imjustabill1970 Twitter: imjustabill1970

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    bill
    clarksville, tn
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    2017 TRD Off Road DCSB
    SUSPENSION: Icon Stage 4 with tubular UCAs WHEELS: Black ProComp 69 TIRES: BFG KO2s at 265/75/16 Partially debadged Diaz Fabrication Model T up front
    What's the toughest part about being a Vegan?

    Keeping it to yourself.
     
    strider98, po35042, Cudgel and 8 others like this.
  3. May 19, 2022 at 6:39 AM
    #603
    TexasTacoLT

    TexasTacoLT Well-Known Member

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    Killeen, TX
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    3" Lift (ToyTech Coilovers and AAL) Bilstein 5100 Shocks Total Chaos UCAs Method Double Standard 17" BFG All-Terrain T/A KO2 (Removed) 33" BFG Mud Terrain Tires Colormatched Grill surround HomerTaco mesh grill insert Legacy "Toyota" Emblem Shrockworks plate rear bumper All-Pro plate front bumper w/ foglights All-Pro rock sliders Smoked Tail-lights DIY Steel Tailgate reinforcement Locking Tailgate handle Tint (15%) w/ sunstrip Tyger Tonneau cover (Removed) Bestop Soft Topper Bushwhacker colormatched fender flares DIY 8-ball shift knob DIY Amber LED grill lights DIY Debadged WeatherTech floormats Sudued US Flag door decals T-100 style tailgate decal Two way radio w/ 3' whip antenna Warn 8000lb winch CalTrend Neoprene seat covers DIY Bed tie-down anchors
    Why did the scarecrow win an award?

    Because he was outstanding in his field!
     
  4. May 19, 2022 at 9:07 AM
    #604
    Spare Parts

    Spare Parts Well-Known Member

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    Southern Maine
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    [​IMG]
     
  5. May 20, 2022 at 7:28 PM
    #605
    SRH

    SRH My horns hold up my halo

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  6. May 21, 2022 at 8:30 PM
    #606
    TexasTacoLT

    TexasTacoLT Well-Known Member

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    John
    Killeen, TX
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    '14 TRD Offroad
    3" Lift (ToyTech Coilovers and AAL) Bilstein 5100 Shocks Total Chaos UCAs Method Double Standard 17" BFG All-Terrain T/A KO2 (Removed) 33" BFG Mud Terrain Tires Colormatched Grill surround HomerTaco mesh grill insert Legacy "Toyota" Emblem Shrockworks plate rear bumper All-Pro plate front bumper w/ foglights All-Pro rock sliders Smoked Tail-lights DIY Steel Tailgate reinforcement Locking Tailgate handle Tint (15%) w/ sunstrip Tyger Tonneau cover (Removed) Bestop Soft Topper Bushwhacker colormatched fender flares DIY 8-ball shift knob DIY Amber LED grill lights DIY Debadged WeatherTech floormats Sudued US Flag door decals T-100 style tailgate decal Two way radio w/ 3' whip antenna Warn 8000lb winch CalTrend Neoprene seat covers DIY Bed tie-down anchors
    I tell Dad jokes, but I have no kids. I'm a Faux Pa.
     
  7. May 23, 2022 at 7:47 AM
    #607
    wiljayhi

    wiljayhi “..ain’t nobody’s business if I do…”

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    Jim
    Murky Water, MB, eh?
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    The other day I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.

    So she hugged me.
     
  8. May 23, 2022 at 7:52 AM
    #608
    Shane_O

    Shane_O Well-Known Member

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    Shane
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    What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    No eye deer.

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    Still no eye deer.
     
  9. May 23, 2022 at 7:53 AM
    #609
    Shane_O

    Shane_O Well-Known Member

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    Shane
    San Angelo, TX
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    What do you call a dad joke when no one is around to hear it?

    Funny.
     
  10. May 23, 2022 at 7:55 AM
    #610
    Shane_O

    Shane_O Well-Known Member

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    San Angelo, TX
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    And one more...

    If your nose runs and your feet smell, then you were built upside down.
     
  11. May 23, 2022 at 8:00 AM
    #611
    wiljayhi

    wiljayhi “..ain’t nobody’s business if I do…”

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    Jim
    Murky Water, MB, eh?
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    My wife says I only have two faults:

    I don't listen and something else
     
  12. May 23, 2022 at 8:07 AM
    #612
    Pablo8

    Pablo8 Here!

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    Everson WA
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    OVT, 4.88, ADM, F&R ARB lock, KO2's, RWD L MOD
    Too good to be dad jokes!!!
     
    TexasTacoLT and wiljayhi like this.
  13. May 23, 2022 at 2:53 PM
    #613
    TheFang

    TheFang No Big Deal

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    Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley at night....

    One was assaulted.
     
  14. May 24, 2022 at 10:38 AM
    #614
    Tiny's Taco

    Tiny's Taco The Wanderer

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    That's a horrible idea. What time?
  15. May 24, 2022 at 2:00 PM
    #615
    Beaner Taco

    Beaner Taco Well-Known Member

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    Three moles were in a tunnel. The first one says I smell a cake baking. The second one says I smell fresh pineapple. The last one says that’s funny I just smell molasses.
     
  16. May 24, 2022 at 4:13 PM
    #616
    wiljayhi

    wiljayhi “..ain’t nobody’s business if I do…”

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    Jim
    Murky Water, MB, eh?
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    3G, Tuned
  17. May 24, 2022 at 4:37 PM
    #617
    Shane_O

    Shane_O Well-Known Member

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    Shane
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    Kickin’ and a gougin’ in the mud and the blood and the beer.
     
  18. May 24, 2022 at 4:38 PM
    #618
    wiljayhi

    wiljayhi “..ain’t nobody’s business if I do…”

    Joined:
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    Jim
    Murky Water, MB, eh?
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    An accountant, an engineer and a lawyer were bragging about their dogs’ abilities.

    The accountant said: “ledger”, count out sixteen cookies, and the dog did.

    The engineer said: “sliderule”, pile those cookies in four piles of four, and the dog did.

    The lawyer was out of ideas for his dog so he said: “loophole”, do what I do.
    So the dog ate all the cookies and screwed the other two dogs.
     
  19. May 25, 2022 at 6:25 PM
    #619
    Brian_d

    Brian_d Well-Known Member

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    Socal
  20. May 25, 2022 at 7:43 PM
    #620
    wiljayhi

    wiljayhi “..ain’t nobody’s business if I do…”

    Joined:
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    #268685
    Messages:
    2,635
    First Name:
    Jim
    Murky Water, MB, eh?
    Vehicle:
    3G, Tuned

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