Chicken Jury Duty?

Well, what would be your verdict?
Mine would be “Self defense”.

https://youtu.be/mBPFzTzabig

 

Should have cooked up the bird to dispose of the evidence. No I haven't seen your bird! Maybe the Coyotes got it?

 

The chicken was guilty as sin, this pillar of the community is innocent.

I have chickens and know that many roos are assholes.

 

I found this testimony to be both compelling and entertaining, and I’m hoping for a reality show. At least a documentary.

 

Innocent, but never talk to the media...

 

Fine him $15.99 for failing to call the chicken ambulance, deferred adjudication to time served and a 6 piece meal.

 

Damn , now I want some chicken.

 

Guilty story-

Last year I went camping on some dude's property. Real nice fellow from South Africa, he and his son bought some acreage in hopes of starting up a B&B and a couple of dispersed campsites.

Every night he let his chickens out to free roam the property. I, being a not very bright bulb, did not check the status of said chickens when returning to camp. Naturally one of my dogs launches out the truck window like a railgun and scatters all of his chickens. She caught and bagged one before we could catch up to her. Wasn't even that hard to track, there was a five foot wide trail of feathers and a whole lot of chicken noises that pointed exactly where they were.

Imagine knocking on your hosts door on a Friday night with one of his about-to-expire chickens in your arms. It was.. awkward.


After apologizing profusely and helping him locate the rest of the chickens who were now bedded down in the scrub brush, I couldn't help but asking, being in central Texas and all, how many animals he's lost to coyotes this year. He looked at me funny and said "well I've only been here three months, but I've never lost any animal before." Oh boy. I didn't have the heart to tell him how his free chickens were going to fare. Considering our relationship so far, I sure as hell wasn't in any position to talk further about it.


As far as I know we were both the first and the last guests to stay there. I check for his listing on occasion, but his website disappeared the Tuesday after I got back.

Still think about that guy and how we ruined his chickens.

 

Next morning, we were still in a foul mood and mopeing around the camper, I try to at least make breakfast burritos, coffee, and mimosas to help brighten the day.

While doing so the girlfriend trips and falls down the steps, bashes her shin and lands on her head in the process.

While on my knees checking on injuries, I blurt out "Well this trip can't possibly get any worse, so we might as well put the cherry on top of this shit sundae" and that's when I hand her the box that contains her ring.

100% true story of how we got engaged.

 

Agree,
Self defense.

 

If you’ve ever taken the time to talk to someone who drives a Dodge, this shouldn’t even seem strange to you.

 

I believe you. 100%
Because that’s not just a story you make up.

I’ve learned the crazier the story is, the more likely it’s true.

I’ve got some I don’t tell. Because people wouldn’t believe it.

 

My Dad and Brother both drive a Ram truck. I live in East Tennessee. Everything about this story is NORMAL except the part where the guy goes to jail. Here, where I live, my neighbor would have probably laughed and we would have parted ways never to think about that chicken again.

 

This is the strangest cock fight I have heard of.
Bantam roosters are mean AF!


Holy shit,I love rednecks. Kung fu, hiiiyaaa.
Chicken police
Oh shit