Whatever

Do they like peanut butter?

 

This really bugs me.

 

I feel like I lost my best friend.

 

Why

 

I feel so empty inside. Maybe the giant crap I just took had something to do with it.

 

I didn’t claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat kale

 

Wow

 

Another couple mile hike today . This stump reminds me of deer antlers

 

Feels good doesn’t it !

 

It’s the little things in life.

 

“Ever took a crap so good your pants fit better?”
- Ron White

 

Nothing worse than constipation

 

Wut?

 

Keep reading.

 

I should have weighed myself before and after that one.

 

A nun goes into a liquor store and asks for a bottle of vodka. The clerk says “Shame on you sister, a woman of the cloth”
“It’s okay” replied the nun “it’s for the mother superior. To relieve her constipation”
As the clerk is walking home he spies the young nun, clinging to a post, obviously drunk.
“Sister! You lied to me! You said it was for your mother superior’s constipation!”
“Nu uh I dinnint lie. When she see me, she gonna shit”

 

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
People don’t get mad when you wipe your ass with their toilet paper.

 

I won’t ask how you know this