MARYLAND TACOMAS

Morning all

 

Howdy all. I have 8 days to get the rest of the drywall hung in my living room, mudded, sanded, and painted. Despite working, classes, and drill this weekend.

The race is on!!!

 

Hey all...im still looking for a set of black steelies...the spare version.

 

Sorry about your pup. Its ok to be up and down. Animals have a way of tugging our hearts. I hope your other pup will be consolable. Remaining pets can take things hard too sometimes. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

 

Morning everyone

 

Good morning. My home deal closing is likely pushed to the right as the septic system is janked; sellers will handle it, but getting the fix scheduled could take 3 weeks to 3 months. Oof.

 

Gracie is sad. She doesn't know why. Yesterday was her first alone day. When I got home she was insane. Jumping and pouncing and roooooooo-ing and her tail was gonna wag off. She had a couple 'upset tummy' poops in the house - stress maybe. Poor babe. She simply doesn't know what to do - the other pup would often coax her into play or just grooming and all that. I'm going to try to switch to telework on days she'd have to be alone. I'm not in the right mind to get another pup, but we can't let Gracie be so unsteady.

(gracie on the left)

 

It’s always even harder watching how the other dog(s) react. One of mine was in the dog hospital for a few days earlier this year because of cancer related stuff and our other pup was desponded the whole time. It was really sad because you obviously can’t explain if/when they’re coming back or why they’re gone.

 

I don't know how to be 50 and simply get-over it. I struggle not really understanding why I am the way I am with things like this. I feel like (here comes the s-word) 'should' gird my loins, move on and enjoy life. She was "just" a dog, an animal, right? I dunno man. Some of my last words to the pup were things like "Please keep existing (in the next life)" and "I will find you over there. Somehow." Things people probably should be saying to other people. Yet there I was. Everything went so quickly - and thankfully I was informed and decisive and stoic. When I really let go was when the injection did its job and my softly-breathing cuddly pup went limp. I went to hand her to the vet and the pups head kind of fell off where it was resting on my arm and I lost it. That was disgusting to me - she became a bag of flesh and bone but empty. I tried to hand her over but I couldn't bear touching and holding what 'was' my girl. The gracious vet took her from me and i cried like a kid. The vet said i can take as much time as I wanted but I couldn't take any more. I told the vet I have people that are going to need me to be strong. And I've done that to some extent, but when I'm alone in the house or outside of ears and eyes of my friends and family I get choked up and once or twice hard-cried and maybe it's alright to do that. Whether it is or isn't doesn't matter - so much. I don't care a lot about norms and machismo. At work I play, on repeat, the song by Nightbird - It's okay. Part of the lyrics tell us "it's okay If you're lost - We're all a little lost and it's alright."

So I am a little lost with all this. I feel okay. I can work. I can do what needs to be done. I've laughed. I've wished and wondered. I've experienced thankfulness and grace and i know Aoife was "just a dog." And she was loved and she was fundamentally good and she was a brat sometimes. And she carried me at times through a decade of transition in my life. And if only for that I will be eternally grateful to my Creator for the privilege of loving and caring for her. Until the next life. Until then, i have no choice - onward and upward. There's no other path, onward and upward and whatever else that brings.

 

I don’t even know what to say to this but shit. I’m sure you two will find each other. Nothing wrong with being hurt and lost, sometimes directionless. Time will help some but her memory will live on with you. Sorry again for your loss.

 

Thanks Eric. Thanks man.

 

Man I feel for you deeply. I don’t think we do “get over it”. I think over time it just becomes less painful. Me and my dogs are thinking of you guys.

 

thanks brother

 

Damn, sounds like us with scheduling our chimney repair. Pulled out the woodburning insert and needed a damper so called in a sweep for inspection - turns out our chimney had a fire at some poont, and will cost roughly $15k to put in a zero-clearance firebox, sometime around february. So much for fireplace season :-/

There is no 'just get over it', brother. No matter how old or young you are, we share our lives with those we love so when one of them leaves us, whether human or pet, it takes a part of you with them. We're resilient creatures though, human beings, and you will regrow the piece of you that left. But it'll never be quite the same, adlnd the scar will always be there to remind you of the piece of you that's missing. But like any injury, scars do heal and become less noticeable, but they will be a part of us forever to show the life we've lived, the mistakes we've made, the loved ones we've gained or lost. It's gonna be raw for a while, but you're allowed to hurt; that's called being human and having love.

Let me know if you wanna talk, brother. I'm here.

 

That's rough. Oof. The new place has a fireplace converted to gas - I want to revert back to wood. The owner said if I lined it, it'd work. Then I started pricing things. Just terrible. I'm hoping I can meet folks out there in the country with experience and we can get it done. YT shows me it's not super complicated. My main complication is I have an upstairs fireplace option, so I'd probably need two liners - one for each? - though they share a chimney.

I don't NEED it to burn wood, but I want an alternate source of cooking and heat if the propane fails for any reason.

Thank you very much. Here's what I miss, if I dig down deeply...and this applies to most changes or traumatic situations -

Imagine me standing on a dock watching another version of me on a ship tied to the dock. The me on the dock is everything I've known to be true. My reality. My confident assessment of where I am within the space of my environment. Now I am suddenly on that boat and it's sailing away and I am no longer who I was and I fear and miss who I used to be - just days ago - with *two* dogs. The change is scary because it is unknown and I know it is inevitable and my life prior 9 November was a little like living in a Major cord - I felt harmony. I struggle like everyone, but I could sing! I had my constants and I understood. This death pushed me into a minor cord - into discord. And now I'm seeking the logos - the logic and the words and the desire to feel like singing again. I am not depressed nor am I weepy or morbidly sad, but I am off. I am simply a little out of joint over this. And I do not begrudge myself these feelings, in writing all this I am merely trying to give the feelings a voice and maybe somebody at sometime can read them and know they aren't crazy for really loving a pet nor are they weak men for being hurt by the sense of loss. My mother is in the early stages of Leukemia - like both of her sisters before her - and i know time is limited and of course there is no equality in my connection to my mother and a pup - but going through this with my pup is starting to set up the way I will grieve when, like it as done for all people before her and shall do for all those after her, death comes for my Mom and she is ushered into the next realm. The verbs - the processes of grieving are being practiced now, I suppose. The way I look at how I feel and what the loss means to my identity are lessons to me and i hope to become better somehow, because of this process.

But I'm wrong all the time, so maybe I'm full of shit But I think I'm right. I think I got it sorted. Now it's just a matter of letting the process happen and find my footing again.

 

You're bringing me to tears, Darin.

Great way to express your feelings...I've hung onto every word as is you are speaking for everyone who has lost a family member that meant so much.

Continued prayers for you & Jennifer's healing.

 

Thanks bud.

 

I hit a good size deer at 65mph this morning. There's blood, hair & guts from the pass front undercarriage & wheelwell down the pass side of the body. Rear differential is covered too. Only damage is my turn signal light assembly and my alignment is out a bit. Toyota tough! I pressure washed it at work before I left, it was nasty underneath. I thought for sure I would have r/f body damage.

 

So glad you - and the truck - are okay, D