I’m missing the point. Where do I go from here?

From what I understand, plumbing is where the $ is at for trades.

Some people said don't get hung up looking for your dream job. As a younger man, I grinded hard to keep moving up. I've been on top in my field for a while now and it's not that great.

You get to pick your problems, not your outcomes.

My 27 year old self would never hear this, but you really do have to compromise/settle at some point. Your passions will never be fully realized in any job. As you are learning, those dream jobs really aren't. I come from the same place, where I wanted to help people. Now I've been in the system for a decade+ and have come to realize the system is not interested in helping people. Sometimes, and I only mean rarely, is that a byproduct of the system sustaining itself, which is always the primary function of any system.

At some point you have to take the job opportunity that is best for you in a practical sense and find fulfillment elsewhere. You've got to find something you can tolerate for the next 30+ years that provides for you.

I don't work in healthcare, but my wife is a psych RN and a terribly compassionate person that wants desperately to help troubled people. She believed in it so much that she saved up the cash to walk away from her old career and put herself through accelerated nursing school. It was definitely the right move for her, but her idealism was dashed to pieces pretty quickly upon entering the workforce.

It never is what you think, or want it to be. I think the key is to let go of expectations and do something mildly satisfying that is sustainable.

 

Addiction is nasty thing my friend. Some know it all too well, some have lived it, and some have only been around those who have lived it. Either way, addiction is a plague that affects so many, and living with it in any capacity (such as your friend) is enough to consider counseling. Again, I'm no psych, but it sounds like you've got a ton of conflicting feelings and emotions surrounding more than just your career. Being young, considering marriage/kids, trying to find stability, and just simply living in this economy is a truly haunting task. Don't be discouraged man, seriously. Take the experiences you've learned so far and count them as wisdom. Its easy to compare yourself to others who "have it figured out," and while their lives may seem great now, they're potentially years/months/days/hours away from that same burnout you already found. Everyone starts over at some point, whether at 18, 30, 55, or 70. Life's circumstances aren't designed for you to do one thing forever and only have one purpose. Its good to have passion and motivation, and you'll definitely need it to fuel any amount of success in the medical field, because it sucks honestly. Any job where you deal with people is hard. Any job where you deal with people potentially at their worst, is even harder.. It honestly sounds like you've had a bad run with 2 or 3 previous jobs/bosses/coworkers that ruined the experience. Don't be afraid to move on to somewhere else. Don't take this the wrong way, but we're all just numbers. Healthcare is a business model; it exists to make money. Sure, patients receive benefit along the way, but its only a business. Feel 100% confident that the burden of you leaving and a position unfilled isn't going to hurt anyone, because they have a plan for your replacement already. You can't throw a rock without hitting a fresh college grad ready to fill any position they can get their hands on.

Also just want to say, doctors are a special breed. Most of them are probably well respected. Many of them make a real change in the world, and many don't. Medical assistants are also a special breed; they usually jump into this role to dip their toes into healthcare, knowing its only a stepping stone. Its entry level for a reason; there's high turnover in these positions for a reason. People in these positions move on to something greater, they burnout quickly, and they're easily replaced with the next green kid who can collect a name/DOB and vitals. Its an extremely important job, don't get me wrong; thats in no way a dig at MA's; just an observation that turnover is extremely high - bc its entry level. Find some comfort that you've knocked out the hard part already. You got your foot in the door, you gained some years of experience. If you choose to stay in the medical field, you've got a one-up on many others applying to the same positions. If your passion is what you say it is, a doctor may not be the MOST effective choice in career. There's thousands of positions out there that help people much more than doctors can. From my experience in medical/clinical settings, if there's anyone who truly makes a difference in sick/addicted patients' lives, its a Social Worker. Doctors prescribe the medicines; Social workers (and other medical staff) are the ones actually fighting for the patient, arranging transportation, helping the families, giving resources for payment/bill assistance, etc. The last person someone dealing with addiction wants to see is a doctor. But we all know its who they need to see. The people that coordinate and make that happen are the real heroes.

 

It’s more clear than ever that I’ll need to continue to strive and work through things to ultimately decide what is worth reaching for, but help like this will undoubtedly be a big part of my success. Sincerest of thanks.

I really hold a lot of gratitude and respect for everyone who has contributed here. Not only do I have some new (and old) options to consider, but I think a lot of the wisdom passed on here is gold.

Anyone is still welcome to chime in now or whenever. I plan on following up with more questions and/or updates.

 

What kind of studies do you run? There are other options aside from a CRA for sure. The pay is nice but the travel is a little absurd. What part of the country are you in? Feel free to send me a PM I can see what connections or insight I can provide with a little more detail than I'd be happy to share on here.

 

My dad was a neurologist that flipped back and forth between private practice and inpatient, he wound up retiring as a professor. He has an interesting perspective on the industry as a whole.

When my dad wore his short coat in the 70's, he said it was a completely different environment - according to him docs outnumbered the hospital admins by over 30 to 1. Nowadays, he says, its closer to 1:1. Docs now have a lot less freedom to truly interview and diagnose, its strictly Amazon style order fulfillment now - "oh, you said a keyword, that means I'm signing you up for X diagnostic and punching in Y code in the computer." He said that there is no thought that goes into it anymore, no detective-work. Just send the patient out for labs and a scan, punch a code in the computer, prescribe a med, thank you, next patient. He fundamentally hated that on many levels.

He also said that when he went through med school, they purposefully tried to set up tricky exams where you truly had to be skilled at interviewing to properly find the right questions to ask. Bedside manner was required. You HAD to establish a rapport in order for the patient to correctly describe their symptoms. If you couldn't, then you misdiagnosed it and you failed. As a professor, he tried so hard to instill that same style, only the system itself has changed. He said the kids these days are only studying for the final exam, and have little-to-no bedside manner, and have zero interview skills. He laments that this style misses a good 30% of patients that don't have the top 90 disease. But, the school is set up to allow them to pass, so congratulations, they are now doctors.

When I was a kid, I would go weeks without seeing my dad. He was usually up at 3, he would start checking on his inpatients by 5, then work his private practice from noon to 6. When he was home, all the energy he had to do was watch weird black and white sci-fis on TV. So thats what we did. When I was 9 or 10, I'll never forget that he spoke out of the blue, one night, in the middle of a rerun of Pet Semetary. "Son, whatever you decide to do in life, I'll be proud of you. If you grow up being a ditch digger, then by golly you be the best ditch digger there is. But whatever you decide, NEVER go into medicine. EVER." I never forgot that.