Whatever

What do his balls smell like?

 

When you eat crawfish you have to peel them (think eating crab, if that helps). Crawfish boil has plenty of cayenne, which soaks into your skin, crevices, etc. (think raw handling jalapeños). She will never let you near her.

 

It’s a girl cat

 

Same question.

 

So.....

My dad went to the bar every night after work. Every. Night. A couple of years ago I asked my brother if he remembers a single time that my dad came home from work and stayed home all night. Nope. Not once.
Anycrippledoldman....
One night he was at the local watering hole (The Oak Room ) and this feller came in all drunk and shit and the feller was carrying a
30-30 (thats a rifle to those that dont know).
Well the feller started shooting up the place; shooting the walls, the mirrors, the bar...whatever he felt like shooting I reckon. So all the patrons rolled outta there like their asses were on fire. Except my dad. He stayed sitting at the bar, calmly drinking his beer.
Welp...the local cops called up there at the Oak Room and my dad answered the phone.
They asked about the state of the current situation, they also asked my dad why in the fuck did he not leave when the shooting started. He says.....I had just gotten a fresh beer, I wasnt gonna walk away from it.

*true story





@OneGiraffe

 

I can’t find them.

Also the cat is imaginary

 

lovely story!

 

Our local Jaycees have a crawfish boil every spring, Stock Jr is head honcho over it this year.

 

My dad would just come home from work and beat me and then drink until it was time to go to bed

 

Well thats no good.

 

man ah well

HEY GUYS DO I WANT AN FJ80?!

 

Look closer…

 

I'll need an invite
And for Stock Jr to have his buddy send that private jet to come get me (and take me back home)

 

In celebration of raspberry…

 

Me too!

 

My dad would come home
Sit in his chair and drink and read
He'd hit me when I'd pop off at him

 

My BIL learned similar consequences after going to the bathroom post spicy wing challenge

He had a decent argument

 

Guys! How hard is it to find a job making 50k a year?

 

Gosh you people and your dad stories

I was too terrified to get out of line. My stepdad is the scariest of teddy bears.

My father was just a normal asshole