PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

I don't know buddy.
We all deal with things differently.

One of my best friends, who is now dead, told me something I will always remember.

He said,

"People are going to come and go in your life.
Some will be alive when they leave. Other will be dead.
But you have to hold your head up, and go on with your life.
You can't live in the life of someone that's gone."

He died in 2017.
Sure I miss they guy.
But he's gone......Just like he said.

And I moved on. Just like he'd want me to......

 

In that case, I'll just do it myself........
Geez......The things a dead guy has to do.

On second though, It would be kind of funny to call ahead and ask for "the permit" to pour my own ashes out.
That would be an awkward, but funny to me, conversation.

 

I honestly think that I'm still in shock; I can still remember the day I met Emily in high school back in 2006. A couple months ago, Amanda and I also surmised that Emily would be dead before 50 if she continued on the path she was on. We knew she was unhealthy, but we didn't she'd be dead before 40, and we certainly didn't we'd be the ones who found her.

 

I have the "organ donor" designation on my driver's license, and if my organs are still viable when I die, then I want them donated to somebody who could use them; I want my brain donated to science, and then I want to be cremated. Emily was an organ donor too, but organs are only viable if the deceased is put on life support immediately after death, and Emily passed at least 12 hours before we found her.

 

Well, someone had to find her.
At least it was you all. And not here mother of father a week later.
I couldn't imagine finding my own child dead.
And even worse, once they started decomposing.

Maybe it was a blessing disguise that you all found her?

 

I have had mine checked since I got them.
I'm with you, let someone else that needs them, have them.

 

Intense, I felt like just read a book.
Life as we know it brings heart break and love that only the one can experience.
I feel her soil rests in peace. We make our own choices and some don't know or have the choice. Only the one knows at the time.

Rip Emily

And thx for share so that she is known now by all that have taken to read this short but long story of your life.

 

Oh, it totally was, and it was also a blessing that Emily had the A/C on in the condo. Emily's mother lives in Oregon, so she wouldn't have been the one to find her. Emily's dad lives like 20 minutes away, and owns the condo that Emily was living in, so he has a key. He and Emily had gotten into an argument a couple days before she died and Emily wasn't speaking to him apparently. Emily's dad was about to fly out to Florida so he could take care of his sister who'd had knee replacement surgery. There is a possibility that one Emily's friends would checked up on her, but that probably would have been on Sunday or Monday. The body was not decomposed (but as soon as the lights came on it was easy to tell she was dead), and I was told that there was no smell inside the condo; I took one step inside before the cop told me to wait outside. Amanda's mother was in her apartment for about five days with the heat on, and we were told that the distinctive death smell was obvious as soon as the door was kicked in. However, we were at the apartment two days after she was found and there was no smell; I found some dried blood on the floor near where her body was found that more or may not have been hers, but a layperson would never know that somebody died there and sat for five days.

Emily probably died while Amanda and I were still asleep in the wee hours of Saturday morning, and we probably wouldn't have been able to help her unless we'd been at her place on Friday night. No doubt, if one of Emily's other friends hadn't found her by Monday, it could have been up to a week before Emily was found and her dad probably would have been the one to discover her. With the A/C on, I'd say that finding Emily after Tuesday would have been quite traumatic for whoever found her; I seriously thought she was asleep until I started banging on the window and she wouldn't wake up, and then I thought she was just unconscious until the lights came on.

Hannah, Emily's dog who we took in, had food and water; I've heard of dogs surviving by drinking out of the toilet and eating garbage when their owner passes away and there is no other food or water. I've also unfortunately heard of dogs eating the bodies of their owners if left long enough. The other thing you've got to factor is that while Hannah is healthy, she's almost ten years old. Barb (Amanda's mother who died) had two small dogs, the 16-year old mother and her 13-year old son, who survived five days locked in the apartment. Amanda was awarded custody of these dogs, but they are older than Hannah and far more needy, so she relinquished them because she could not afford it. My parents have, out of the goodness of their hearts, helped a lot with the financial aspect of caring for Hannah.

You've also got the Gene Hackman case. The two dogs that had free roam of the house survived, but the dog locked in its crate died; Gene's wife died first, Gene died a week after his wife, and they were both discovered another week later. This means that the dog was locked in its crate for two weeks and likely starved.

I really don't want to think about what might have happened if Hannah was alone in that condo with Emily for more than a day or two, but finding her body aside, we also saved her dad a lot of trouble in finding her so early. The condo probably would have been a biohazard after three days or so, even with the A/C on. Because we decided to check on her when we did, the most that had to be done was fixing a door and throwing out a couch.

Two good things have come out of this tragedy; we have a new family member, and I haven't really consumed any junkfood since Emily died!

 

By the way, here’s a picture of me with my dad and Pop-pop, circa 2004. The pictures was taken in the kitchen of our house in Northern Virginia, likely by my mom, sometime in 2004. My dad was stationed at the Pentagon, and the reason he’s in his Navy uniform is being he was about to have a change of command; Pop-pop had driven down from Jersey for the occasion…

 

Not a bit. Cupcake's mom passed in 2005 and she's been once, at her dad's burial. It's 20 minutes from home and right up the street from the family house. She says she doesn't think of her there, she thinks of her when she hears a song..goes to a restaurant they liked to go to..and so on.

Oops don't tell anyone I might have done this at an arcade..

Similar..my high school friend Brian once we hit our 40s occasionally would mention we will see more funerals than weddings at this stage. He left me early 2021..damn him

 

As I mentioned before, Emily almost died from liver failure in 2020. She’d previously had her gallbladder removed, and the doctor didn’t realize there was a gallstone that hadn’t passed. This ended up blocking her bile duct. As previously stated, Amanda took Emily’s car keys once they were at the ER and made her wait to see the doctor. Emily had an ERCP (Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangiopancreatography) done and she was fine, but the doctor warned her that if she continued to live the way she was living healthwise, she’d encounter the same problem.

Emily’s skin was yellow when we found her, and we were initially thinking that this was just due to decomposition. While decomposition begins immediately after death if the body isn’t placed on life support (for purposes of organ donation), we don’t believe Emily was dead for much more than 12-14 hours before we found her.

Last night, we were at my neighbor’s house discussing Emily, and it suddenly occurred to Amanda what the doctor had said after Emily got the ERCP. Obviously, Emily no longer had a gallbladder and thus it couldn’t have been a gallstone, but the doctor had told her that continuing to eat the way she was eating cause the procedure to fail. We now believe there’s a good chance that Emily was in liver failure because of her diet (she didn’t drink alcohol, but she ate nothing junkfood), and that her bile duct was clogged by fat.

Emily’s eyes were closed when we found her, and obviously no living being except for her dog had been anywhere near her body, so it’s pretty obvious that she passed in her sleep. It took more than three months to get the results of Amanda’s mother’s autopsy back, and now we’re back in the same boat with Emily!

 

I have no idea buddy.
Unless it hurts really bad, I don’t go to the doctor. It’s all foreign to me. (Kind)

What little I do know medically, is from other people. Second hand hear say.

Not gonna lie. I kind of hope I die like Emily. Go to sleep and don’t wake up.

 

Yeah, but when you’re older, and surrounded by loved ones…

 

No wife, no kids.....
I'm 42 now......

The chances I'll be "surrounded by loved ones", is slim.....very slim.

There's a reason I try to "be careful" with the things I do now in life.
I don't really have anyone to "help me".

No to sound selfish, but I'm pretty much the "caretaker" to both of my grandparents.
I'm the one taking them to and from, and taking care of their home.
It's not exactly easy, or fun. But at least I'm here to do it.

I'm not going to have someone like me around to all that "for me".
So growing old doesn't exactly look like much fun to me.
To be honest, it looks expensive.

That's why I say, I want to go to sleep and not wake up.
Ideally, before I become feeble and can't care for myself. (kind of like Emily)

 

After we found Emily, Amanda expressed fear about dying alone. Also, I’m glad we found Emily before nature truly took its course and the condo became a biohazard. There’s also a chance that Hannah might not have made it more than a few days; Amanda’s mother’s two dogs survived five days in the apartment with her, but there’s no telling…

 

I think it was good that you all found here.
And that she had people like you and Amanda to check on her.
You are right, it could have been worse. A lot worse.

 

More than three days, and Emily’s dad would have been calling a specialized cleaning crew instead of simply throwing out a couch…

I still can’t believe she’s gone; I thought she was a bitch sometimes, but she only got really bad in probably the last three years of her life, and on”good days” bits and pieces of the Emily I knew a decade ago would shine through.

Almost a month after we found Emily, I still do not think I have fully come to terms with the fact that I found a dead body!

 

@TnShooter

One thing I miss from recent months is giving Emily HVAC-related advice; Emily’s condo has electric heat (specifically a heat pump), and it was probably on its second HVAC system by the time Emily’s dad bought it in March 2024.

The indoor and outdoor units that came with the condo were from the early 2000s (the place was built in 1984, so they were replaced at least once), and Emily’s dad had to replace them in November 2024 because black mold was discovered in the air handler. The outdoor unit was okay, but it was old and it used R-22, so it was replaced too.

The Carrier heat pump in the above quoted message is the replacement. Emily knew very little about HVAC and had little experience with heat pumps. Anybody who knows HVAC knows that heat pumps with no gas or oil backup absolutely suck when it gets below about 32-40°F, depending on a number of factors. Emily would text me at random in early 2025 when it was in the 20s outside, complaining that the heat pump couldn’t get it to 74°F. She was livid, saying she wanted to call the HVAC company for a service call and bitch out her dad. After two separate incidents, I convinced her that heat pumps just sucked in extremely cold weather, and that she should be grateful that her dad bought her a condo (in cash, I might add)!

At that point, I was trying to keep my distance from Emily, but Amanda had started talking to her again; I also love HVAC, and happy to help people out with their HVAC woes. I also helped her out diagnosing issues with her car; I miss Emily…

 

I found pictures of the heat pump that came with Emily’s condo, as well as one of the original 1984 Carriers!

 

Can identify here at 51. Yeah I'm married but...I married into an older family. No children either.

Right now I'm overdue for a procedure but have to stay home between the wife's recovering from surgery and my parents so I need to wait 3 months or so.

Totally with you on the caretaker thing, my parents are the only reason I haven't moved away yet.