Whatever

FishnTx · Aug 10, 2025 at 3:43 PM

World2405 said: ↑

HI FEEESHING MAN
Click to expand...

Gritto · Aug 10, 2025 at 6:21 PM

World2405 said: ↑

So I start the morning the usual way: banana, questionable energy drink, and me whispering sweet nothings to the 4Runner in the driveway like “You ready to do war crimes in the forest?” The mirrors fogged over slightly, which I took as consent.

I drove out solo. Or so I thought. About 15 minutes into the trail, I saw something move behind me in the rearview mirror. Not a tree. Not a squirrel. It looked like an unlicensed taxidermy project with huge feet and a Patagonia vest.

I stop. Step out. Leaves rustle. Out walks Bigfoot, dragging a rusty Hi-Lift jack and holding what I think was a Capri Sun. He points at my tires and goes, “Too much pressure. That’s why your soul feels heavy.”
I don’t know how he knew, but I immediately aired down to 14 PSI.

Now I’m feeling good. Real good. I’m crawling over boulders like a goat with a grudge, the 4Runner humming like a sentient fridge. Everything’s perfect until I round a bend and come face to face with a Yeti—not the cooler, the beast. White fur, glowing eyes, standing on a rock like he's in a shampoo commercial. He screams, I scream, the 4Runner throws itself into reverse unprompted and we both vanish in opposite directions.

Somewhere in the confusion, my GPS turns off and the infotainment screen starts playing static and old episodes of Knight Rider. I swear the nav lady whispered “You’ve entered the forbidden zone” but in a Scottish accent.

Then it gets weirder.

I hit a clearing. In the middle? A single raised platform made of tree bark and boulders. On it? A unicorn. Not like some prissy rainbow-horse cartoon. This one had scars, glowing hooves, and off-road recovery straps wrapped around its torso like a bandolier. It made eye contact and the 4Runner stalled immediately, like it was paying respect.

The unicorn trots up, snorts dust from my air intake, and taps its horn on my hood. Suddenly, my check engine light turned off. I haven’t seen it since. It healed my rig. Or cursed it. Jury’s still out.

Then a loud roar echoes from behind. The Yeti is back, riding a dirt bike made of bones and PVC pipe. Bigfoot shows up again with a snorkel in one hand and a trail map in the other. The unicorn rears back and screams, “CHOOSE YOUR LINE, MORTAL.” I floor it.

Everything after that was a blur of mud, screaming trees, high-speed crawling, and me swerving around mythological creatures trying to hand me fliers for trail yoga. At one point I swear the 4Runner grew antlers. At another point I drove through a creek that felt like it was whispering compliments to my undercarriage.

Finally, I burst out onto pavement again. Covered in dirt, antenna missing, gas light on, grill stuffed with moss. I look in the mirror—Bigfoot’s gone. The unicorn? Vanished. Yeti? Left behind a single cooler full of iced kombucha and cold pizza.

I pull into a gas station. The attendant takes one look at my rig and just says, “You went north of marker 7, didn’t you?”

I don’t respond. Just buy a Gatorade, nod like I’ve seen things, and drive home.

The 4Runner idled smoother than ever. Suspension? Feels like riding a cloud made of tires and vengeance. MPG is up. My dog refuses to get back in the vehicle. My wife says my eyes glow at night. I haven’t slept since.

Anyway, has anyone else had their rig blessed by a woodland unicorn and/or spiritually tested by a bipedal ape in hiking gear? Also, how do I clean Yeti drool off my tailgate? It’s like antifreeze and broken dreams.
Click to expand...

World2405 said: ↑

So I’m cruising down this pitch-black backroad, fog so thick it feels like driving through a cloud of expired ghost farts. I’m thinking, “Man, I really need upgraded fog lights because these stock ones are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”

Then out of nowhere, bam—there’s a shape right in the middle of the road. My brain screams “DEER!” because, you know, it’s deer season and I’m already clutching the wheel like it owes me money.

I slam the brakes, tires squeal, and as I get closer, the shape shifts and… wait… what?

It’s not a deer.

It’s three Amish kids jammed inside a horse costume, trotting awkwardly like they’re trying to audition for a low-budget Halloween special. They’re yelling something that sounds like “Giddyup!” or maybe “Shut up, Dave!”—hard to tell in the fog.

I nearly lost my mind. I mean, who even thinks to dress up like a horse on a foggy backroad at night? And why am I the only one seeing this circus?

I laugh, but my relief is short-lived because as I’m shaking my head and trying to process what just happened, I flick my headlights a bit more—and there, just past the horse-kids, standing in the fog, is something else.

Something... not right.

A figure. Tall, lanky, with eyes glowing faintly like it’s had one too many cans of energy drink itself. The cryptid of local legend—the “Fogfoot”—staring right at me like it’s deciding if I’m dinner or just a confused tourist.

My heart jumps, and I slam the fog lights on full blast. Spoiler alert: My stock fog lights? About as effective as a candle in a hurricane.

Suddenly it steps forward with a slow, predatory gait. I swear I heard it mutter, “Fresh meat?” in a voice that sounded like a swamp monster gargling gravel.

My heart rockets. I slam the fog lights to full power, but my stock ones barely cut through the fog. The cryptid starts closing in—feet silent, eyes locked, and honestly, I thought this was it.

Then, panic mode kicks in.

I yank the gear into low, slam the gas, and my 4Runner roars like it knows this is do-or-die. The tires bite hard—thank God I had aired down earlier—and I power through the mud and gravel like a man possessed.

The cryptid lunges but can’t keep up on the loose dirt. I’m hauling ass, swerving past the horse-costumed Amish kids, who are now cheering (I think) or yelling something about “Crazy city folk!”

The fog thickens, the engine screams, but my adrenaline-fueled brain and the truck’s grit get me the hell out of there.

I didn’t stop until the cryptid’s green glowing eyes were a distant memory, and my hands finally stopped shaking enough to drop the third (and last) White Monster from my cup holder.
Click to expand...

You've outdone yourself

Story Time with World2405

World2405 · Aug 10, 2025 at 3:49 PM

Gritto[OP] said: ↑

You've outdone yourself

Story Time

Click to expand...

I have more. But I’ll be patient

SACTOWN · Aug 10, 2025 at 3:59 PM

“Bullshit” -sactown

wilcam47 · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:02 PM

Gritto[OP] said: ↑

You've outdone yourself

Story Time

Click to expand...

@World2405 ^^

FishnTx · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:14 PM

Hobbsquatch

SACTOWN · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:15 PM

@HoboDave

SACTOWN · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:19 PM

Apparently at wnba games people have been throwing dildos on the court

SACTOWN · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:21 PM

bassmusic said: ↑

Yes sir. Not sure why they mad. Nothing stoppin them from throwing fleshlights on NFL fields hahahahaha

I inquired with Draft Kings to see if I could wager on the color of the next dildo thrown onto a WNBA court. No response yet.
Click to expand...

tclavell · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:23 PM

SACTOWN said: ↑

Apparently at wnba games people have been throwing dildos on the court
Click to expand...

SACTOWN · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:31 PM

bassmusic said: ↑

As you MIGHT be aware. TSA randomly opens checked baggage and leaves you a little note that they were in there.

Well back in 2012 when I was still living back in Wisconsin, I was traveling to and from Johnson Controls plants around the country upgrading PCs. Well one of my carry ons had my laptop and my work laptpop in it.

Every god damn time I travelled, TSA rifled through that bag and put it back like a bag of ass.

So one night I get back from traveling and I leave Mitchell Field and drive out to Naughty But Nice - the only adult toy store in the area and buy the biggest dildo I can get my hands on. Probably 24" in length.

I started packing that dildo in with my laptops.

Guess what never happened again?

TSA never searched that bag again.

I was half tempted to smear something on it to give it an extra freak factor.
Click to expand...

buckhuntin-tacoma · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:34 PM

@StayinStock 52 days

Squirt · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:38 PM

buckhuntin-tacoma said: ↑

@StayinStock 52 days
Click to expand...

Till

buckhuntin-tacoma · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:38 PM

Squirt said: ↑

Till
Click to expand...

Oct. 1st

amyracecar · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:39 PM

wilcam47 said: ↑

@World2405 ^^
Click to expand...

that was a great episode!

amyracecar · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:39 PM

Squirt said: ↑

Till
Click to expand...

Deer gonna die!!

StayinStock · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:40 PM

World2405 said: ↑

So I’m cruising down this pitch-black backroad, fog so thick it feels like driving through a cloud of expired ghost farts. I’m thinking, “Man, I really need upgraded fog lights because these stock ones are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”

Then out of nowhere, bam—there’s a shape right in the middle of the road. My brain screams “DEER!” because, you know, it’s deer season and I’m already clutching the wheel like it owes me money.

I slam the brakes, tires squeal, and as I get closer, the shape shifts and… wait… what?

It’s not a deer.

It’s three Amish kids jammed inside a horse costume, trotting awkwardly like they’re trying to audition for a low-budget Halloween special. They’re yelling something that sounds like “Giddyup!” or maybe “Shut up, Dave!”—hard to tell in the fog.

I nearly lost my mind. I mean, who even thinks to dress up like a horse on a foggy backroad at night? And why am I the only one seeing this circus?

I laugh, but my relief is short-lived because as I’m shaking my head and trying to process what just happened, I flick my headlights a bit more—and there, just past the horse-kids, standing in the fog, is something else.

Something... not right.

A figure. Tall, lanky, with eyes glowing faintly like it’s had one too many cans of energy drink itself. The cryptid of local legend—the “Fogfoot”—staring right at me like it’s deciding if I’m dinner or just a confused tourist.

My heart jumps, and I slam the fog lights on full blast. Spoiler alert: My stock fog lights? About as effective as a candle in a hurricane.

Suddenly it steps forward with a slow, predatory gait. I swear I heard it mutter, “Fresh meat?” in a voice that sounded like a swamp monster gargling gravel.

My heart rockets. I slam the fog lights to full power, but my stock ones barely cut through the fog. The cryptid starts closing in—feet silent, eyes locked, and honestly, I thought this was it.

Then, panic mode kicks in.

I yank the gear into low, slam the gas, and my 4Runner roars like it knows this is do-or-die. The tires bite hard—thank God I had aired down earlier—and I power through the mud and gravel like a man possessed.

The cryptid lunges but can’t keep up on the loose dirt. I’m hauling ass, swerving past the horse-costumed Amish kids, who are now cheering (I think) or yelling something about “Crazy city folk!”

The fog thickens, the engine screams, but my adrenaline-fueled brain and the truck’s grit get me the hell out of there.

I didn’t stop until the cryptid’s green glowing eyes were a distant memory, and my hands finally stopped shaking enough to drop the third (and last) White Monster from my cup holder.
Click to expand...

If they're jammed into a horse costume...how could you tell they were Amish?
And the fog....

buckhuntin-tacoma said: ↑

@StayinStock 52 days
Click to expand...

StayinStock · Aug 10, 2025 at 4:54 PM

Yammering

MGMDesertTaco · Aug 10, 2025 at 5:15 PM

Gritto · Aug 10, 2025 at 5:19 PM

bassmusic said: ↑

I've heard purple and neon green dildos I believe have made it onto the court.

New poll from @Gritto ? What color dildo do women prefer? lmfao
Click to expand...

Log in or Sign up

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Whatever

This Thread Needs...

An Evaluation

Strait Jacket

Shock Therapy

An Enema

Gasoline

Return to the Dumbgeon

A New OP

More Cowbell

A Swear Jar for AmyRaceCar

Crazy Pills

More Whatever

A Million Posts

More Story Time

#583701
FishnTx ⚓️rather be feeschin⚓️

#583702
Gritto [OP] Mrs Gritto's First Husband

#583703
World2405 WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!!!!1!

#583704
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583705
wilcam47 Keep on keeping on!

#583706
FishnTx ⚓️rather be feeschin⚓️

#583707
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583708
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583709
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583710
tclavell Assistant to the Assistant Manager

#583711
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583712
buckhuntin-tacoma Shed hunter

#583713
Squirt Samsung Aficionado!

#583714
buckhuntin-tacoma Shed hunter

#583715
amyracecar suck it up buttercup

#583716
amyracecar suck it up buttercup

#583717
StayinStock Set it and forget it

#583718
StayinStock Set it and forget it

#583719
MGMDesertTaco Come on, live a little...

#583720
Gritto [OP] Mrs Gritto's First Husband

Products Discussed in

Log in or Sign up

Useful Searches

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Whatever

This Thread Needs...

An Evaluation

Strait Jacket

Shock Therapy

An Enema

Gasoline

Return to the Dumbgeon

A New OP

More Cowbell

A Swear Jar for AmyRaceCar

Crazy Pills

More Whatever

A Million Posts

More Story Time

#583701 FishnTx ⚓️rather be feeschin⚓️

#583702 Gritto [OP] Mrs Gritto's First Husband

#583703 World2405 WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!!!!1!

#583704 SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583705 wilcam47 Keep on keeping on!

#583706 FishnTx ⚓️rather be feeschin⚓️

#583707 SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583708 SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583709 SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583710 tclavell Assistant to the Assistant Manager

#583711 SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583712 buckhuntin-tacoma Shed hunter

#583713 Squirt Samsung Aficionado!

#583714 buckhuntin-tacoma Shed hunter

#583715 amyracecar suck it up buttercup

#583716 amyracecar suck it up buttercup

#583717 StayinStock Set it and forget it

#583718 StayinStock Set it and forget it

#583719 MGMDesertTaco Come on, live a little...

#583720 Gritto [OP] Mrs Gritto's First Husband

Products Discussed in Entire Site Forum: Off-Topic Discussion Thread: Whatever

#583701
FishnTx ⚓️rather be feeschin⚓️

#583702
Gritto [OP] Mrs Gritto's First Husband

#583703
World2405 WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!!!!1!

#583704
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583705
wilcam47 Keep on keeping on!

#583706
FishnTx ⚓️rather be feeschin⚓️

#583707
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583708
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583709
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583710
tclavell Assistant to the Assistant Manager

#583711
SACTOWN Well-Known Member

#583712
buckhuntin-tacoma Shed hunter

#583713
Squirt Samsung Aficionado!

#583714
buckhuntin-tacoma Shed hunter

#583715
amyracecar suck it up buttercup

#583716
amyracecar suck it up buttercup

#583717
StayinStock Set it and forget it

#583718
StayinStock Set it and forget it

#583719
MGMDesertTaco Come on, live a little...

#583720
Gritto [OP] Mrs Gritto's First Husband

Products Discussed in