Whatever

buffedout · Aug 10, 2025 at 9:20 PM

23Skidoo said: ↑

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We've arrived.

buffedout · Aug 10, 2025 at 9:33 PM

vrod671 said: ↑

Gonna be in your hood from the 23rd thru 27th. Need some bar/things to do recommendations.
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Overland Expo to start.

Are you a cocktail man? Let's get after some quality speakeasies. Run For The Roses. Williams and Graham.

Oh, a beer man? Oh, you're fucked bud. Westbound and Down. Breckenridge. Avery. Odell. Reverence.

Nature? Guam's nice...but there is magic here. Let me know...I could fit a bit of off-roading and camping in my schedule.

Fishing ain't bad here.

And I will show you the best feet west of the Mississippi.

shakerhood · Aug 10, 2025 at 10:08 PM

Tacotsubo · Aug 11, 2025 at 2:42 AM

Morning y'all...

Delta09 · Aug 11, 2025 at 3:11 AM

Ugh

Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 3:55 AM

bassmusic said: ↑

We’re gonna find some shit out today.

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What did you find?

Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 3:58 AM

MGMDesertTaco said: ↑

Seaside, CA

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Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:01 AM

bassmusic said: ↑

@SACTOWN

Dukes Mayo? Game changer mang. INSANELY good. Beats the shizz out of Hellmans. Richer, creamier, tangy maybe? Just better.

And Tillamook, only the best.

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We don’t t have Dukes up this way, but we found Mikes Amazing Mayonnaise to be outstanding in all those ways ……

Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:03 AM

World2405 said: ↑

585k wen?!
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Sunday

Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:05 AM

StayinStock said: ↑

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Who flew to the moon in a bucket……

Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:06 AM

lynyrd3 said: ↑

Might be a grandpa by this time tomorrow . Daughter checked into the hospital @5 this evening and being induced into labor tomorrow
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fathomblue · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:06 AM

Good morning whatevers.

Got up early to get a long walk in before it rains but it's already

So I'm just and catching up on whatever and what do I see?

Delta09 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:07 AM

Just letting you guys know to enjoy the Duke's you know now. They were bought out and I can only imagine quality will drop.

https://upstatebusinessjournal.com/...ent-company-acquired-by-advent-international/

Delta09 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:08 AM

fathomblue said: ↑

Good morning whatevers.

Got up early to get a long walk in before it rains but it's already

So I'm just and catching up on whatever and what do I see?

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Damn, I don't remember seeing that this morning about an hour ago?

Damn

Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:13 AM

World2405 said: ↑

So I start the morning the usual way: banana, questionable energy drink, and me whispering sweet nothings to the 4Runner in the driveway like “You ready to do war crimes in the forest?” The mirrors fogged over slightly, which I took as consent.

I drove out solo. Or so I thought. About 15 minutes into the trail, I saw something move behind me in the rearview mirror. Not a tree. Not a squirrel. It looked like an unlicensed taxidermy project with huge feet and a Patagonia vest.

I stop. Step out. Leaves rustle. Out walks Bigfoot, dragging a rusty Hi-Lift jack and holding what I think was a Capri Sun. He points at my tires and goes, “Too much pressure. That’s why your soul feels heavy.”
I don’t know how he knew, but I immediately aired down to 14 PSI.

Now I’m feeling good. Real good. I’m crawling over boulders like a goat with a grudge, the 4Runner humming like a sentient fridge. Everything’s perfect until I round a bend and come face to face with a Yeti—not the cooler, the beast. White fur, glowing eyes, standing on a rock like he's in a shampoo commercial. He screams, I scream, the 4Runner throws itself into reverse unprompted and we both vanish in opposite directions.

Somewhere in the confusion, my GPS turns off and the infotainment screen starts playing static and old episodes of Knight Rider. I swear the nav lady whispered “You’ve entered the forbidden zone” but in a Scottish accent.

Then it gets weirder.

I hit a clearing. In the middle? A single raised platform made of tree bark and boulders. On it? A unicorn. Not like some prissy rainbow-horse cartoon. This one had scars, glowing hooves, and off-road recovery straps wrapped around its torso like a bandolier. It made eye contact and the 4Runner stalled immediately, like it was paying respect.

The unicorn trots up, snorts dust from my air intake, and taps its horn on my hood. Suddenly, my check engine light turned off. I haven’t seen it since. It healed my rig. Or cursed it. Jury’s still out.

Then a loud roar echoes from behind. The Yeti is back, riding a dirt bike made of bones and PVC pipe. Bigfoot shows up again with a snorkel in one hand and a trail map in the other. The unicorn rears back and screams, “CHOOSE YOUR LINE, MORTAL.” I floor it.

Everything after that was a blur of mud, screaming trees, high-speed crawling, and me swerving around mythological creatures trying to hand me fliers for trail yoga. At one point I swear the 4Runner grew antlers. At another point I drove through a creek that felt like it was whispering compliments to my undercarriage.

Finally, I burst out onto pavement again. Covered in dirt, antenna missing, gas light on, grill stuffed with moss. I look in the mirror—Bigfoot’s gone. The unicorn? Vanished. Yeti? Left behind a single cooler full of iced kombucha and cold pizza.

I pull into a gas station. The attendant takes one look at my rig and just says, “You went north of marker 7, didn’t you?”

I don’t respond. Just buy a Gatorade, nod like I’ve seen things, and drive home.

The 4Runner idled smoother than ever. Suspension? Feels like riding a cloud made of tires and vengeance. MPG is up. My dog refuses to get back in the vehicle. My wife says my eyes glow at night. I haven’t slept since.

Anyway, has anyone else had their rig blessed by a woodland unicorn and/or spiritually tested by a bipedal ape in hiking gear? Also, how do I clean Yeti drool off my tailgate? It’s like antifreeze and broken dreams.
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Dawn. Dawn dish detergent. That shit does wonders!
Very well thought out story . Great job.

Pibbles99 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:35 AM

Good morning everyone.
So, my day start great . Doing my pre trip inspection I found a flat in my #5 tire and my rear vision monitor crapped out. I have been writing it up as a flickering and vid loss. Screen goes blue. All I get is that they check connections and tightened wires and whatnot .
I wrote up on Friday that a could smell something like melting plastic from my ac/ heat vents. They found nothing. So I wait…

And I left my book in my backpack in the truck….. A jack Reacher novel

lynyrd3 · Aug 11, 2025 at 4:53 AM

Morning Whatevers

Gritto · Aug 11, 2025 at 5:09 AM

World2405 said: ↑

Okay okay okay

next story!

GATHER ROUND ERRYBODY

ERHMM!

So, I’m heading out on this “easy” trail in the backwoods, thinking it’ll be a chill day of dirt and nature. I barely have my coffee down when I spot a group of Canadians decked out in flannel and toque hats, standing around a campfire roasting what looked like maple-glazed beaver tails. I wave, they wave back with the politest “sorry” you’ve ever heard.

I pull over to say hi, and before I can say “Hey, eh?” one of them points to the sky and says, “You see that, bud?”
I look up. There, hovering low over the pines, is the tiniest green alien you’ve ever seen—like, pocket-sized, with eyes bigger than its head, just chilling in a tiny UFO that looks suspiciously like a hockey puck.

Before I can process this, the alien beams down a hologram that’s basically a trail map… except it’s written in some kind of universal language that looks like a combination of Tim Hortons coffee orders and emoji hieroglyphs. The Canadians nod solemnly and pass me a can of something called “Intergalactic Poutine Juice.” Naturally, I take a swig.

Suddenly, from the bushes, a raccoon appears. But not just any raccoon—this little guy’s got the sass of a thousand moose and the aim of a professional pitcher. He starts hurling frozen fish sticks at my 4Runner like he’s trying out for the raccoon Olympics. One fish stick smacks my windshield with a satisfying “thwack,” and I swear it left a tiny maple leaf imprint.

The Canadians burst out laughing, explaining that this raccoon is the “Trail Guardian” who tests if you’re worthy of the forest’s secrets. I’m trying not to get fish-stick bombarded while they explain how the raccoon once held off a bear by pelting it with frozen lake trout. Legendary stuff.

Now, I’m feeling the vibe, so I air down my tires with a hockey puck valve cap I stole from the alien’s UFO. I hit the trail, which immediately turns from dirt to a weird combination of syrupy mud and neon moss that glows faintly under the moonlight. The 4Runner slides sideways, but the tires grip like it’s got claws.

Halfway through, my dash lights up with a new message: “EH-VENTURE MODE ACTIVATED.” My radio switches to nonstop classic rock and hockey commentary simultaneously. The alien’s hologram appears again, guiding me through a series of impossible switchbacks that somehow loop back on themselves like a curling rink.

At the last bend, the raccoon reappears, this time riding a tiny ATV built from twigs and cans, throwing fish sticks like grenades. I dodge, the 4Runner picks up speed, and I fly out of the forest onto a hilltop just as the sun rises.

The Canadians are waiting there with maple syrup shots and moose-shaped cookies. The alien gives me a thumbs-up and zips back into the sky. The raccoon disappears behind a tree, probably preparing his next fish-stick assault.

I sit there, covered in mud and fish stick residue, thinking: Only in the great northern wild could a day like this happen. I swear the 4Runner is humming the Canadian national anthem, and I might be one fish stick away from joining that raccoon’s squad.

Anyone else ever get fish-stick-bombed on the trail? Or meet intergalactic mapmakers and overly polite lumberjacks? Let’s swap stories before the raccoon comes back with reinforcements.
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Gritto · Aug 11, 2025 at 5:11 AM

Pibbles99 said: ↑

Good morning everyone.
So, my day start great . Doing my pre trip inspection I found a flat in my #5 tire and my rear vision monitor crapped out. I have been writing it up as a flickering and vid loss. Screen goes blue. All I get is that they check connections and tightened wires and whatnot .
I wrote up on Friday that a could smell something like melting plastic from my ac/ heat vents. They found nothing. So I wait…

And I left my book in my backpack in the truck….. A jack Reacher novel
Click to expand...

Dang Brian, you can't catch a break.

vrod671 · Aug 11, 2025 at 5:25 AM

buffedout said: ↑

Overland Expo to start.

Are you a cocktail man? Let's get after some quality speakeasies. Run For The Roses. Williams and Graham.

Oh, a beer man? Oh, you're fucked bud. Westbound and Down. Breckenridge. Avery. Odell. Reverence.

Nature? Guam's nice...but there is magic here. Let me know...I could fit a bit of off-roading and camping in my schedule.

Fishing ain't bad here.

And I will show you the best feet west of the Mississippi.

Click to expand...

The expo sounds fun, but I probably couldn't make that. I'll be visiting my daughter so that'll take up most of my time, but would definitely love to grab a drink and some food. I'll throw some good cocktails back, but as for beer, I'm easy. Coors Banquet

I've only been one other time, but didn't stay nearly as long as I wanted. Definitely a beautiful state! I will definitely have to take you up on some wheeling and camping next time around.

Edit.
Show me the place where we could fish and see these best feets west of the Mississippi.

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#583781 buffedout TW badass!

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#583792 fathomblue I used to be disgusted; now I'm just amused.

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#583797 lynyrd3 STRENGTH DETERMINATION MERCILESS FOREVER

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buffedout TW badass!

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buffedout TW badass!

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shakerhood Well-Known Member

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Tacotsubo Mediocre at best

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Delta09 Requires Supervision

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fathomblue I used to be disgusted; now I'm just amused.

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Pibbles99 One more cast

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