In cab winch control help

Hey guys, need some help here. I bought an in cab winch control from the 12 volt guy. Went to install it last night, got all my wire ran and hooked up. Just to give you as much info as possible. It is an xrc8 winch. The solenoid box is under the hood, I ran the wires threw the firewall and hooked everything up. He makes it very easy for you, labeling everything. There are 3 parts to the switch. The switch that has the power and an in and out button. The switch has power, but I get nothing from the in and out buttons.

I am pretty sure I just have it wired wrong at the solenoid box, but I can't figure it out. I am not good with electrical stuff. The solenoid box have some wires coming out of it that connect to another terminal then into the lead, where the remote plugs in. The lead has a 2-, 2+, 1-, 1+. The 2- is unused. The wires that go to the in cab switch are in, out, and ground. I was trying to use the 3 wires that connect to the lead, but I am guessing that is wrong. The other thing that makes it more confusing, whoever hooked up the winch used all red and black wires, so the wiring diagram doesn't help much.

So, my question is, can I use those 3 wires that connect to the lead where the remote plugs in? If so, do you know which one is the ground? I am guessing the in and out would just be need to be swapped if they were wrong. Or am I going about this wrong and I need to connect to the wires that leave the solenoid and go into the terminal connector before the go to the remote lead? I have moved wires and tried different combinations, but noting has really worked. If I plugged something into the wrong one, is there a chance I fried something? I hope not!

I hope all of that makes sense... I appreciate any input that might be able to help me. I searched everywhere and couldn't find anything that tells me for sure.

 

Ok, so I messed around with different combinations last night. I have the switch working. The only thing is, I am not using the ground wire under the hood to the solenoid box. I hooked up the in and out and they both work.

So, now my question is... Do I need that ground wire hooked up? Is it going to mess anything up if I don't use it?