Women are Mental

Yarik83 = Mel Gibson

Well said

 

Marriage is betting half the things you own that you are gonna stay married forever.

 

Man that was truth

 

That is crazy man.

 

Sounds like its about to get ugly in the next year... dont get forced into something you dont want!

 

Cat hater.

 

Once you give her a ring, what's she going to harp on next?

I was going out with a gal I loved dearly. She wanted to be married and I wasn't ready. She said "or else" and that was the end. Not my choice; hers. I was devastated. But I soon realized that wasn't how I wanted my relationship to be, a series of ultimatums. Fuck that, life's too short.

 

Agreed. But it's funny, similar happened to me a month ago... after a year she said "if you don't come to your senses, I will leave you," so I called her on that manipulation bullshit, then she decided to end it... but then... came back 3 hours later begging, she made a mistake, calling 78 times in a row, just relentless and quite psycho indeed. She was fun much of the time and she can cook, but she is very crazy (insane), dumped all her past hookups into my brain without me asking any questions (wtf) then tells me she's not in the mood, and not all that hot anyway but the sex was good (yeah she's had practice lol). I have my flaws too but I also have a ton of great stuff going for me, so after all this crap and too much to mention before that, she's gone. No regrets.

To the OP: 2 months is too early to tell (for you anyway), but if you aren't on the same page with future plans/family, then the best thing would be to set her free to find someone who wants what she wants. Plus you will have a better chance of finding someone you want if you aren't already involved.

 

I honestly believe that entire concept of marriage proposal is flawed. I also think that marriages are flawed but that is a while different conversation.

Why is it A SOCIAL EXPECTATION that a MAN needs to save up 3 times worth his salary and buy a ring and then propose when women are not? Granted lately there has been a slow but rising trend of women proposing to men (ehhh... who knew right?!)... but still. If women want to be proposed to... all the have to do is initiate the proposal first. Think how transparent marriage would be if you sat down at your kitchen table... none of that romantic restaurant and a $3000 trip to wherever..... and both of you just figured out that... hey... relationship is working out... let's take it to a different level.

Its always the same story. Man tries to hold off longest he can, then gets pressured into it, has to go out and buy a ring, gather up cahones to propose and woman has to pretend like never in her wildest dreams she expected that she would be proposed to. Woman then runs around with her arm stretched showing off her DIAMOND (nope... can't be a $3.00 plastic promise ring) to everybody. After which you both are expected to engage in marriage ceremony which often costs tens of thousands of dollars), buy expensive gowns which will never again be worn...

I love how my mom and my step father did it. Both were married and divorced prior. My step dad was driving my mom in a rusted out van from home depot when they were shopping for screws... on the way back they stopped by ice cream castle place, were sitting in smelly (with gas) van trying to finish ice cream before it melted and then my step dad looked at my mom and said and I quote: "Hey... want to get married?" My mom allegedly said something like... "err ok". They went to the court house the next morning, signed some paperwork and 16 years later and 2 kids later they are together and all that stuff.

Darn it... I want my marriage proposal to be this simple and my marriage to be that simple... just ask... get answer... file paperwork and go on about my business...

I never believed that marriage proposal was about some sort of theatrical act. If you love each other... fine... no reason to put on a show... just so you can tell the story to everyone... since everyone proposes in the same way more or less. Why can't life be simple like that?!

 

Yup.

Some hide it better. Wait til 30 and they're childless and that clock starts ticking.

 

That would be entirely too simple and easy. I can't say I know too many women that would go for that.

 

Things to this point are pretty much accurate

Also accurate.

Whoa. Hold up right there chief. He was being honest before. Who the hell apologizes for being honest?

No, he needs to stick to his guns and she can decide if she's ok with staying involved or not.

This is the crux of the problem. See, many women (not all, but generalizations make points easier to distill) want a man hitched to their wagon to fund the nesting. They need support for their home and babies! Get workin'! And she is totally in that pile, because at 25 her friends are getting married/knocked up, and the Facebook Contest is in prime time. She's not sharing the pictures she wants to be sharing, only liking her friends pictures, and she's super fucking antsy because of it.

Right decision? Fuck you, right for HER. He may want something different, and if he has no intentions of long term marriage, he should say as much and stand by that. If that's a deal breaker for her, she needs to move on and stop wasting her time AND his.

Why is it so much relationship advice revolves around the man completely giving up any semblance of a spine?



OP: It's a lot simpler than this. Check it out:

You spoke your mind. If that's a problem for her, fuck it. You don't want to waste time on someone who gets mad at you for sharing your opinion. Life is too short for that shit.



See, wasn't that much easier?

 

not true in all cases.

my wife & I each had little in assetts when we married. together we built a business and aquired the worldly possessions we currently have.

although it's not something I ever worried about anyway...I married once in 1989...and will never divorce. So, I'm good.

YMMV

 

I've been with my gf for 3 and a half years I would simply be happy with getting married modestly courthouse or whatever you do but I love her and want her to have her engagement ring and wedding with fancy dress because that's been her (and most women's ) dream from when they were a kid and plus its a good social event and way for families to connect.

To the OP I would recommend not talking about relationships when drinking. Does more harm then good

 

Doesn't need to be expensive or complicated. It's a big deal and it does take a lot of work-not sure I realized that first time around.

Second time around though, I think you've got a lot of the hype out of the way, you both know what's important and you can go on about your lives.

 

Let me rephrase something folks. When a man and a woman are in a relationship... men think short term, women always think long term. Women by large, do not stay together with a man short term. From the second you call yourself a couple, she is already making hypothetical probability models that you have no knowledge of. Your woman will always think 9 steps ahead of you.

Now to address issue of personal future. If you, as a human being, have little interest in tying the knot in foreseeable future, do not be using someone to tickle your fancy in the short term. You are not having 1 night stands, you are having a RELATIONSHIP. While you do not have to EVER marry her.... it would go a long way to DISCUSS your future plans very early into relationship. Heck I know couples that have been together for 25 years and they still have not tied the knot.

The most ignorant thing you can do is waste someone else's time. Violation of people's time stretches beyond... ohh crap I read this 9 paragraph post... can never get 2 minutes of my life back... this is more serious... when another human being feels betrayed.

Being able to communicate will go a long way. One of leading causes of divorce is poor communication. Something we should all improve upon.

 

Everyone is different, but here's my experience:

I was 21, she was 17. She was immature for 17, very needy etc. After 6 years we were talking about moving south together with her mom. I decided to think about if she's the one before I move 1500 miles from everything I've ever known..and said nope, she's 23 now and hasn't matured a bit. In fairness I was still wild too. She said after I dropped her that she wanted to get married and have kids someday and didn't ever see me doing that.

After some time I straightened out and met my wife when was 29..she was 41. No kids for either of us and never was a big deal if we had them. I unofficially moved in after about 2 months..officially after 4 months. Within 1.5 years we had bought a house and got engaged, got married a year later. 7.5 years so far.

Point is, there's no blueprint for everyone. What you have to decide is what you want..EVENTUALLY. Doesn't have to be right now. I'm guessing on this but perhaps the quote about 20% is a problem because she would like to get married someday. That said in my case I was no way ready to be married when I was that age, but my best friend got married at 22 and is still very much in love with his wife.

I'll echo a previous statement..don't discuss this when alcohol is a factor. That probably didn't help in the first example here...many a yelling match which was unproductive and hurtful.

In my case, I have more freedom than some of my friends who are just dating. I go to a lot of concerts, mostly without her because we don't have tons of common ground in music. She gets her nights out with the girls too with my blessing..I get to play Tues night dart league with the guys.

I will say that in my personal experience putting deadlines or ultimatums on the ring and date usually haven't gone well.

Oh yeah..I bought my wife's ring from a friend who had gotten divorced, had the stone reset and all in all spent $500..less than $200 for both our rings. We got married in Vegas at Circus Circus for about $1000..and wouldn't do it any other way.

Sidebar..I ran into the ex about 5 yrs later, and talk about dodging a bullet. In that 5 yrs I had bought a house, got married, had a good job and nice car. She still lived with Mommy and had the same job she hated.