Please Help ADD 02 Tacoma New Diff

Before yawl give me a hard time and refer me to a ton of links give me chance ive been reading a ton of other post on similar problems, however I still cant figure mine out..... here goes

I just put a new diff and actuator in my 02 Tacoma, 3.4, manual tranny, transfer case is just shiftable no button. I was not getting any 4x4 lights or actuator noise at first I got under with test light and found that both blue wires at top of transfer case had power When shifted into 4x4. I unplugged actuator plug and found no power at this plug. I went back to plug coming of rear top of tranny, I started to unplug it from the wiring harness and the two wires coming from wiring harness white n black ones fell out of plug off wiring harness, no clue which side is which and the plugs coming from top of transfer case wires are both blue. So I did some trial and error, I tried plugging wires in one side then the other both ways don't matter when you attach them both plugs on top of transfer case go hot. I went back to actuator plug, this plug did not have power to begin with, now has power. I tried plugging it into the actuator, now when I shift into 4x4 the green light on dash comes on and actuator sounds like it is engaging but the wheels are not pulling, so I swapped wires tried again actuator engages and 4x4 light comes on, but still no front wheels pulling. Drive shaft locks in for 4x4 and spins but front diff does not ..... Help......

Ive read tons of posts but I still cant figure this crap out thanks in advance......