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Prayers and good thoughts for my father

Discussion in 'Personal & Emotional Support' started by Joe D, Jun 2, 2014.

  1. Jun 2, 2014 at 5:36 PM
    #1
    Joe D

    Joe D [OP] .

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    After my father experienced lightheadedness and shortness of breath over the past 2 weeks or so my mother convinced him to see a doctor. The decision was made that he would have a stress test late last week. The stress test (and heart cath) revealed no heart related anomalies so certain other test were conducted exposing spots on his lungs. As it turns out my father has stage 4 cancer that is believed to have started in his lungs. It is also in his liver, brain and bones. I guess it goes without saying it is inoperable and the diagnosis is terminal. The doctors have estimated he has about 6 months to live given his current condition.

    It really is amazing how fast things change. Those who I speak with on here on a regular basis know that only about 6 weeks ago we had a family get together and did a train trip to New Orleans where we all walked all over the French Quarter....about 6 months ago we went to Destin for some off shore fishing (didn't get to fish) but, did get a lot of activity in... Today, my father can barely get in and out of a car and is sleeping 20 to 22 hours a day. Things have changed fast. I'll be driving to their home tomorrow because I feel like I need to but, I'm not looking forward to seeing what I think I'm going to see...

    I do have a request in addition to the prayers and good thoughts. Given the fact that we know it's coming, is there anything any of you (if you've been in the same situation) would have done that you didn't get to do? I'm not talking about the legal crap, that's all taken care of...I'm talking about the stuff one will not have a chance to do once the day of his passing has come. I can't think of anything that we don't already have (pics & certain conversations) but, next year this time I don't want to be saying to myself "I wish I would have done..." whatever. I would appreciate thoughts and feedback.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2014
  2. Jun 2, 2014 at 5:41 PM
    #2
    Steves104x4

    Steves104x4 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry, Joe.
     
  3. Jun 2, 2014 at 5:41 PM
    #3
    wildjerseyfirefighter

    wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

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    Wow man prayers sent. Given the sounds of it just be there with him, dosen't sound like he can do much physically.
     
  4. Jun 3, 2014 at 12:10 PM
    #4
    coffeesnob

    coffeesnob Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear about your dad. My dad died several years ago. I cannot second guess what we should have done and didn't do etc..Obviously you believe in God or you would not have posted here, so just ask God for wisdom for all concerned and let things play out.
     
  5. Jun 3, 2014 at 12:33 PM
    #5
    Joe D

    Joe D [OP] .

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    Thanks guys. I'm making the drive to my parents house today. I worked evening shift yesterday and tried to get a nap in before leaving home. I've gotta say I'm NOT looking forward to being in the middle of it. I wish I could avoid the eventual outcome by looking the other way.
     
  6. Jun 3, 2014 at 12:41 PM
    #6
    belone12

    belone12 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Joe. Something that my friend did was make a recoreded journal of his granfathers stories from WW2. They were very close and wanted to be able to share the stories with others. Before he passed, she was mostly through a written journal/book that she had put together from the recordings and was able to share it with family and friends. You'd hate to miss out on good memories or interesting stories of his youth. It's even better to have it in his perspective in his own words, in case over time the stories fade.
    I always thought that was something really nice.
    I am sorry for the position your family has found itself and you are all in my prayers.
     
  7. Jun 3, 2014 at 12:42 PM
    #7
    Jester243

    Jester243 all I wanted was a god dang picture of a hotdog...

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    some of this, a little of that
  8. Jun 3, 2014 at 12:43 PM
    #8
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    So sorry to hear, Joe. Prayer sent. :(
     
  9. Jun 3, 2014 at 1:16 PM
    #9
    Boerseun

    Boerseun Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear Joe. Prayers sent.
    Try to spend as much time with him as you can.
    My Mother and Father-in-law both died of cancer. They were in South Africa (where I am also originally from) and my wife and I were here in the US while they were sick. My mom was sick first. I could not afford to go there when she was diagnosed. Plane ticket plus time away from work gets expensive. When I went 6 months later I was able to have a good week with her, then she got an infection and passed away while I was there.(which in itself was a good thing that I was able to be there at that time), but I wished that I had more time with her before that. My father-in-law got diagnosed about 6 months later. I sent my wife and kids there about 6 times during the year before he passed, and I was there 3 times, including the funeral. We are still paying off on the credit cards, but the time with him was priceless.

    Best to you and your family.
     
  10. Jun 3, 2014 at 1:18 PM
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    Boone

    Boone Vaginas are rad.

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    Sorry to hear Joe, thoughts are with you guys.
     
  11. Jun 14, 2014 at 8:26 PM
    #11
    TheGrayRider

    TheGrayRider MARANATHA !!!

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    Hadn't been on here for awhile... too busy.

    Prayers for your father ... Lord be gracious, please !!!

    Sorry about your father Joe. My mother went through the same type of situation with it starting in her lungs and spread all over. She went through years of treatment... Chemo, radiation, the works. Fought for over a decade then passed in a hospice facility. My uncle had skin cancer that got him.

    Both my mother and my uncle believed in Jesus and had their sins forgiven. I know this because they told the family that they believed. In my opinion this is the most important discussion you can have with your father and all your family members, friends and everyone else. If you know that they know and believe... still hurts but knowing for sure is a true blessing.

    May The Lord bless you and your family and give you His peace.
     
  12. Jun 14, 2014 at 8:35 PM
    #12
    BudMan

    BudMan knee scooters R us

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    God bless. Enjoy every moment, don't forget to laugh and have fun together. Life is too short. Prayers for you and your family.
     
  13. Jun 15, 2014 at 10:46 AM
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    ImpulseRed008

    ImpulseRed008 Gone But Not Forgotten

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    :pray: sorry to hear this.
     
  14. Jun 17, 2014 at 10:10 AM
    #14
    Joe D

    Joe D [OP] .

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    I'd like to thank everyone for their support.

    My father died on June 10, 2014 at 7:48pm EST at home. We've burried his cremated remains and I stayed long enough to help my mother organize the buisiness & financial aspects of his passing.

    My dogs and I are headed back to Mississippi today.

    My fathers condition was such that our options for any activity were zero by the time I arrived. He was only capable of limited movement & speech. It's a sickening thing to watch and, I'm sure, going to be a difficult thing to erase from my brain. I miss him already.

    On the bright side, I learned just how great some of my friends both in Mississippi & Indiana really are...things I would only guess family would do were done. They've reaffirmed my faith in my fellow humans.
     
  15. Jun 17, 2014 at 10:22 AM
    #15
    jake72

    jake72 Well-Known Member

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    sorry for your loss, my father died around the same time as yours. even though he was 86 years old its still hard. just remember the great times you had.
     
  16. Jun 17, 2014 at 10:27 AM
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    Boerseun

    Boerseun Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear about the loss Joe.
     
  17. Jun 17, 2014 at 11:37 AM
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    Twinkie0311

    Twinkie0311 Mall crawling like a boss

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    Sorry to hear this Joe...My thoughts are with you man.
     
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