The Fountain Tire guy

This is actually pretty amusing and it's right off their website.

The Fountain Tire Guy








If you could work anywhere other than Fountain Tire, where would it be?
I would return to my first love: taxidermy. What can I say, it's in my blood.

Dear Thom, do you have a favourite type of music?
You should check out my Norwegian-style heavy-metal band Rapünzel. We begin our tour of Red Lobster parking lots in December. Call me, I'll put you on the guest list.

Greetings Thom, how much time does it take you to style your hair every morning?
If you're talking about the hair on my head, styling it takes surprisingly very little time at all.

Greetings Thom, whenever I bake bread it doesn't rise. Any suggestions?
Turn the oven on.

Thom, have you ever done anything exhilarating like skydiving?
If you want exhilaration, for my money you can't beat a good nap. Really lets you know you're alive.

What's up Thom? I'm playing Scrabble right now and I have SEDRYTG. What can I spell?
You can spell SEDRYTG. It's Welsh for "Let's play Cribbage instead."

Thom, if you had more time would you learn to crochet?
No. When you're as rich and influential as I am you can just hire people to crochet for you. It frees up a lot of time.

Hi Thom, what's your favourite sport? I have you pegged as a polo kind of guy.
Well since I love polo but hate horses (long story), I've been forced to learn how to play on a dirt bike. It's going quite well actually. It really speeds up the game. The guys at the club are mad at me for tearing up the grounds, but they're just snobs who hate progress.

Howdy Thom, do you have a nemesis?
His name is Carl. He owns the Fotomat in the strip mall off highway seven. He knows why I hate him.